Tonight, I Only Wish For You
by HalebFanfictions
Summary: Caleb returns to NYC for work, he can't shake thoughts of Hanna off of his mind. Hanna gears up to celebrate her birtbday with her girlfriends while her fiancé is across the world. NYC is a big place with lots of people and even bigger surprises. DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING (CHARACTERS, SCENARIOS, LOCATIONS ETC.) FULL CREDIT TO THE AUTHOR, & ALL WRITERS ASSOCIATED WITH PLL
1. Chapter 1

Caleb huffs impatiently in the back on the Yellow Cab that idles in bumper to bumper traffic.

 _God, now I remember why I hated the city...traffic. I could walk faster than this._

It has been 3 years since he has been in the Big Apple, and he did not miss the noise. He didn't miss the hustle and bustle of the streets, and he damn sure didn't not miss the traffic. He didn't miss much about this place, other than the memories it held and sometimes even those were too hard for him to think about. Good times and bad ones, it had seen them all, and like Rosewood it somehow always felt like home when he was here...even when it did nothing but piss him off. Now, that was not the case -no matter how at home he once felt here- he just wanted to be back in D.C. He wanted out of this cab and out of this town.

 _Good thing I've only got 5 days of this crap._

He thinks as he pulls his buzzing phone out of his pocket and looks at the number he recognizes quite easily these days. Swiping his finger over the accept button on his screen he throws the phone up to his ear.

"Hey dad…Did you get my text?"

"Hey, I did." Jamie says back to him "You're in the city again finally? What brings you back?"

"Work, just here for work. Have to check a couple of company's firewalls and then I am headed back to DC. Want to get together for a little while tonight? Maybe grab a drink or something?"

"Uh yeah, I'd really like that son. Want to meet at Murphy's? You know where Murphy's is don't you?"

 _Murphy's? You mean the hole in the wall bar with the best hot wings in town? The one that was walking distance from my old apartment? The one where Hanna and I used to - That. That is why I want out of the city. All the places and things I remember I about it, they all involve her. Every one of them, Hanna._

"Caleb?" he hears his dad calling his phone from the phone and it snaps him out of his thoughts

"Uh, Murphy's is good. I should be good to go from work at 6 but I will have to run by the hotel and change so you want to meet me there around 7:30?"

"Sounds good."

He hangs up the phone and sticks in back in his pocket. Looking out the window of the cab, he still recognizes the street signs and some of the building fronts as they pass by at an achingly slow pace. He closes his eyes and groans because he knows that is exactly how this trip will go, very slowly. When he opens them, blonde hair catches his eye up ahead of the car and he does a double take. Sitting up in the seat, he watches her as she walks down the sidewalk. Black leather pencil skirt and leopard print top with hair in long messy curls down her back.

 _Hanna..?_

He thinks as he watches the mystery blonde walk ahead of them. As they inch closer and closer to her, he examines the woman as she walks. Picking her apart in his mind, he starts trying to decide if she walks the same as Hanna, moves the same as Hanna.

 _She looks a little taller than Hanna is…maybe. Would she be comfortable in the city alone like that? Of course she would, she is Hanna Marin! Wait._ _What if it is her? Am I prepared for it to be her? To see her? Do I speak to her? Do I just let her walk on by?_

Pretty soon she stops at the crosswalk, waiting to cross the street as the cab pulls up beside her. He can feel and hear the heartbeat in his ears and his breaths become farther and farther apart. He turns as they pass her looking back to see, not her. He lets out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding and slumps down in the seat of the cab. He runs his hands through his hair.

 _Gah, I haven't thought like this in years. It must this place, she is everywhere. But I don't know if she even still here..._

When he had walked out of that apartment those years ago, he left with the full intention of never returning. He knew that when he left, he had to stay gone and it wasn't because he wanted to. He had to leave and leave the only way she could contact him behind otherwise he would stay or he would come back but either way they would be running around in the same circles they had been in the months before he left. It wasn't fair to either of them to keep on the way they were going. And when he walked out and climbed in the cab that night, he knew that his life would never be the same.

For the most part, he had gotten his life back on track as best he could. He had spent the first week of his trip contemplating if he had made the right decision in leaving and feeling pretty sorry for himself. He had thought about Hanna every waking second of the trip. She consumed every bit of it. Then he ran into Spencer and they spent the rest of their time in Europe catching up. It was a welcome distraction, but the longer they stayed together the more even she had started reminding him of Hanna. Once they were back, he had gotten back to work and to daily regular life and the thoughts of her came less and less frequent. These days he thought of her every once in a while, but she didn't totally invade his every thought like she used to.

When his boss said that he would be flying into New York for a couple of days, it was as if she never left his mind at all. He had dreams about what he would do if he saw her; he ran over what he would say in his head. This was partly the reason he didn't want to be here. He knew that there was a possibility of running into her, but he also knew that there was an even greater chance that he wouldn't. New York was a big place and it housed a lot of people. Plus, there was also a possibility that she had moved away. He never let himself say it but deep down he knew that he secretly longed to see her as much as he knew it would kill him to.

The cab came to a stop as it pulled off to the curb and parks. He grabs his bag from the seat beside him and throws it over his shoulder. He pulls the cash for his cab fare out of his pocket and hands it to the driver. "Keep the change." He says as he opens the back door to the cab and climbs out onto the sidewalk. He watches as the cab turns and pulls back into traffic before turning back to the building. He takes a deep breath and makes his way through the glass doors.

Hanna walks out of the double doors of her office building heading to an early birthday lunch courtesy of her boss. As her heels hit the pavement, she puts on her sunglasses and pulls out her cellphone. Scrolling through all of her birthday texts from the morning, before landing on the one she was looking for and hits send bringing the phone to her ear.

"Hello birthday girl!" her purrs with his sexy Australian accent

"Jordan! Babe, you did not have to send all those flowers! They are really beautiful though. Thank you!"

"Ah, it is the least I could do since I am all the way on the other side of the continent from my fiancé on her birthday."

"Well I appreciate it thank you. Where are you now?"

"We are in London currently. Just finishing up things here, and then we are headed to Paris, but I should be back by the middle of next week and we will celebrate your birthday then. I miss you. What are your plans for the night?"

"Just doing a girls night. Probably gonna go to a bar downtown for drinks and dinner maybe a little dancing. And miss you, of course."

"Well I have to go, but you have fun tonight though, and don't get into too much trouble. I love you."

A horn honks in the street and it makes Hanna glance up to find the source of the commotion. She stops when she sees what looks like a familiar profile come into view in the distance. He is just hopping out of a cab and turns, grabs a bag before shutting the door and steps into a building.

 _Caleb..?_

She gasps at the thought but stands frozen in the middle of the street making the people walking behind her angry as they have to walk around her.

 _It can't be. Or can it? He hasn't been here in…years. Or had he? Has he been here all this time?_

Suddenly she feels lightheaded and dizzy. She finds it harder and harder to make her lungs function and there is an uncontrollable ringing in her ears.

"Hanna?" she hears but can barely register is over the ringing "HANNA?"

She shakes her head as it snaps her out of her trance "Uh, sorry. Some asshole ran out in front of a cab, got me distracted. What were you saying?"

"I love you..?" he says and she can hear the hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Oh. Yeah, you too." she hits end and holds her phone to her chest.

Hanna moves out of the middle of the sidewalk and props herself up on the brick building front beside a trash can; mostly because it was out of the way of the crowd, but she also kinda felt the sudden surge to vomit.

 _Caleb cannot be here He just can't…not after all this time. Maybe it is just my mind playing tricks on me again…_

She runs her hands through her hair remembering when she had driven herself almost to the brink of insanity in the weeks after he had left. She spent the following 3 weeks going from work to home and crying herself to sleep every night. Then when she finally decided that she would face the real world again and started going places other than her apartment, she had convinced herself that she saw him everywhere. Literally everywhere. The first time was the grocery store; the second was the mall which were both possible places where she could run into him if he had come back. Then she started seeing him at places where she knew he would never be. One time she thought she saw him at a fashion show walking the runway for a high end brand. Anywhere there was a brunette, she swear she saw him.

It had taken her so long to get back to her normal life. Many nights of Chinese take-out and rom-coms - crying until her eyes were so swollen she could hardly keep them open. Many, many dozens of cupcakes and pints of ice cream – 10 pounds later she decided that she had to at least make an attempt and mending her heart in another way that didn't involve at least 500 calories. She threw herself into her work and had gotten a promotion. Caleb was always on her mind, but at least this way she could push it to the back burner.

Right on time, when she had just decided that she was capable of being a strong single woman in the city, Jordan showed up. They hit it off right off the bat, having so much in common. He knew the business; he accepted it as the chaotic and demanding career that it was…that had been what had drawn her to him after all the business had been what had ruined everything for her. They had a whirlwind romance and before she knew it, he was down on one knee with a couple carats in his hand and she had said yes. She loved him, there was no doubt that she did but it was different from what she had with Caleb. She never actually said it out but the day Jordan proposed when she said yes, she immediately thought of him. She had always imagined that it would be his proposal she would say yes to, and in that moment she felt like her heart broke a little that it wasn't him on one knee.

She stood from her spot on the wall and brushed off the front of her dress. Pulling her blazer together in the front she buttoned the lone button. Turn to the window, she fixed her hair and lipstick before turning on her heel on a mission.

 _Only one way to find out...let's chase these ghosts Marin…_

She starts to walk, stomping her feet a little harder than she wanted as she walks to the building. When she reaches the front windows, she peers inside no sign of him. She swings the door open and walks through the building. Having no idea what the building housed, she walks right up to the front reception desk. The woman sitting behind the desk smiles at her "Good morning ma'am. How may I help you?"

She glances over to the sitting area to see the man from the street sitting in an arm chair to her right. Not Caleb. Feeling embarrassed she turns back to the woman at the desk "I uh, I'm sorry. Wrong building." whispers as she turns and walks out of the building.

 _You cannot start doing this again, not now. Not today._

As she walks back out the doors, she pulls her cellphone back out of her bag and opens up her texts. Scrolling through until she comes across the group text from earlier this morning, with the girls she works with

 **So, birthday girl…let's go out for girls' night tonight, you want to? Say around 6ish?**

She takes a deep breath as she types out her reply as she walks down to the café down the street from her office building.

 **Absolutely! I could use a night out!**

Caleb's cab pulls up out in front of Murphy's around 7 and he pays his fare and gets out to stand on the sidewalk. He looks up at the building, it is not exactly a hole in the wall bar to most places, but here in New York it definitely fell into that category. He looks inside, it appears to be pretty busy tonight and there is people filing in and out at a pretty quick pace. He can hear the loud music playing from inside and what sounds like karaoke being sung. He pulls out his cellphone and finds his dad's contact, and hits the call button

He picks up on the second ring "Hello?"

"Hey, I made it here a little early and I am outside. This place is pretty busy tonight…"

"Okay, I am right around the corner, I won't be long."

Caleb hangs up and waits, propping himself up on the brick wall of the building. He had spent all day thinking about the situation with the mystery blonde and Hanna. Truth be told he hadn't really thought about the mystery blonde as much as he had thought about Hanna.

 _It has been years since I thought about her like this, why can't I get her off of my mind? Why must this place open up old wounds?_

He throws his head back against the brick wall and sighs. The notes of Backstreet Boys "I Want it That Way" boom through the doors and takes him back into a memory. His first year living in the city, he and Hanna had made a tradition out of going to this little romantic diner down the street from their apartment. It was their "special occasion" place. One time they were there and it had come on and Hanna squealed with happiness. She began to sing into the salt shaker and dance at the table. He had laughed so hard that he cried that day at her childlike delight over the song. She had started to make a scene in the diner, but he didn't care because she was having so much fun. He laughed again at the memory.

 _God, I haven't heard this song since Hanna's birthday that year...shit. Of course, today is her birthday!_

He pulls out his phone to check the date, and he runs his hands through his hair as he realizes that it is in fact her birthday. Jamie picks that time to walk up towards the bar.

"Long day?" Jamie calls out making Caleb jump

"Hey, yeah something like that." He says as she reaches out to wrap his dad in a bear hug.

Jamie pulls back from him "It's good to have you back son."

"Yeah, I wish I could say it was good to be back…but it is good to see you. Let's go get a beer"

Caleb opens the door and walks in; Jamie follows behind him as they make their way through the crowd to a small bar top table at the far side of the bar. Jamie sits with his back to the wall facing Caleb who sits with his back to the door.

"So, how does it feel being back in the city after, what -3 years?"

"It's uh…it's different. It's busy and noisy and exactly how I remember it, kinda…" he trails off

"Different?"

"Yeah, a little. I just haven't been back since Hanna and I split so it's just…not the same you know?"

"Absolutely."

They order beers and wings and catch up while they wait. The bar starts to get more and more crowded as they gear up for karaoke night. They watch as people get onstage and sing along; some good and some bad. Three beers in, and he can finally start to feel himself relax for the first time she he had arrived as they catch up. He glances back towards the door just as a group of loud girls come in and take their seats at the other side of the bar.

Taking a drink of his beer he turns back to Jamie "This place is starting to get crowded. After this round why don't we go to my hotel bar? So we can catch up..it's not as loud."

Jamie looks past him to the other side of the bar "Yeah, it is…" he says distractedly "Hey, isn't that Hanna?"

Caleb immediately stills, beer halfway to his mouth and stares at his father. He takes a deep breath as he turns his head looking in the direction of his dad's gaze but he doesn't see her "Not you too." He says with a chuckle as he turns back around.

"Huh?" Jamie asks confused

He starts to pick at the label on his bottle "I, uh. I thought I saw her earlier today on the street but it wasn't her…" he shakes his head, eyes wide "We both can't be seeing things old man."

"Now, I may be old…but I am definitely not seeing things. She is in here."

Caleb chuckles "Yeah yeah..not funny."

A few minutes later the DJ comes on loud over the speakers, grabbing their attention as they look towards the stage "Now, ladies and gentlemen we have real treat for you. Well, actually these four lovely ladies have a real treat for you. Singing 'Party in The U.S.A'. Take it away ladies" he says as he motions to the group of loud girls next to the stage.

They squeal and clap as one of them jumps on stage quickly before the music starts and whispers in the DJ's ear then turns around and gestures for the rest of the girls to come on stage, One by one three of them jump up as the music blares through the speakers, leaving one at the table.

Two girls get around one microphone and one girl at the other one they begin to sing "I hopped off the plane at L.A.X. with a dream and my cardigan. Welcome to the land of fame excess – Hurry up girl! – Am I gonna fit in?" They sing, calling out the girl still at the table with her back to the crowd taking one last drink of her mojito before she hops on stage.

Caleb turns back to his dad who smiles a very big 'I told ya so' smile as he takes a drink of his beer and points the neck of the bottle towards the stage. Caleb turns back to the stage and freezes again. This time, he forces his lungs to breath in and out at the sight

Hanna stands on the stage and joins the other three girls around the microphone and starts to sing "So I put my hands up they're playing my song, the butterflies fly away. I'm noddin' my head like yeah, movin' my hips like yeah" they throw their hands up as they sing the words and it is followed by uncontrollable laughter.

He uses what strength he has right now to force his eyes to blink; making sure this isn't another mind game. When he opens them, she is still on stage singing and dancing with her friends. The whole room goes silent and he just watches her as she sings another verse with her friends and when she laughs she throws her head back..

 _Oh my god. There she is. She is really in here…she is in this bar…and she's...damn, she's beautiful. Just like I remember._ _  
_

He watches them as they sing, although at this point he cannot hear the words anymore. All he can hear is the sounds of his forced breaths and his own heartbeat as it gets faster and faster. Now, he doesn't blink; afraid that if he does she will not be there when he opens his eyes. He can feel a smile creep onto his face as he watches her on stage.

Once the song is over they shuffle off the stage and the DJ walks back up "Let's give these beautiful ladies another hand. Also, if you are feeling friendly…I was informed that today is Hanna's birthday – Hanna if you could please join me back on stage…?" he asks.

She gets back up from her bar stool and get back on stage offering up a very nervous smile and wave and she walks back up to the DJ who gives her a quick hug. He lifts the microphone back to his lips "As I said, today is Hanna's birthday so if you have any extra cash – why don't you be generous enough and by Hanna and her friends here a drink. Happy Birthday Hanna." He says as he leans down and kisses her cheek. She waves again and walks off stage and quickly tells her friends that they shouldn't have done that.

Caleb watches them through the crowd of people; he can't force himself to take his eyes off of her. It's as if the whole room has gone into black and white and the only things he can see in color is her. Long blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, red dress, bright red lipstick and her megawatt smile. She was breathtaking – literally.

 _Well, you wanted to see her…it's been 3 years, you think you can handle it? Can I handle it? What if she's still pissed. What if she is married..._

He turns back around to his dad, never meeting his gaze. Lifting his beer to his mouth he downs the rest of it, lifting it up over his head to signal to the waitress he wanted another round. He sits the bottle back on the table and finally looks up to meet his dad's eyes.

"I don't guess we're headed back to the hotel bar then…are we?"

Caleb looks back down at the table and then rises from his stool "I need some air." He says as he turns and makes his way through the crowd and walks out the doors.

Jamie motions to the waitress and when she walks over to the table he says "I will have another one of these and –" he pulls out his wallet "And send 4 shots over to the birthday girl and her friends over there in the corner. Just tell her…an old friend says happy birthday." The waitress smiles at him and takes the money up to the bar to put in the drink order.

Jamie stands from his bar stool and makes his way back through the crowd and outside to meet Caleb who sits on the bench outside the bar with his head in his hands.

"You good?" Jamie asks as he sits down beside him and puts his hand on Caleb's shoulder

He huffs "Yeah I..uh, I just hadn't prepared myself to see her is all…it's been a long time."

"It has. Are you sure that is all that is bothering you?"

"Yeah. No. I just...I don't know if I can say anything to her and I don't know if I can sit in there, knowing she's across the room and not say anything. I didn't exactly leave things on good terms so she may still be pissed." he trails off as he shrugs his shoulders "I don't know that I have the right words to apologize for what happened. I know that I cannot sit in there and act like I don't know her at all. She's not a stranger...she's Hanna. She knows me like a book. But what can I say to her? Nothing. There is nothing I can say to her to change it. Not now...and I've tried so hard to wrap my mind around it, but I just didn't realize-"

"That you miss her?" Jamie asks with a smile, already knowing the answer to the question. Caleb shoots him a pointed look and he throws his hands up in defense. "Look, I can't say that I would blame you. Hanna is a helluva girl and truth be told, I always imagined she would be my daughter in law someday. I mean, I owe that girl a lot…"

"Yeah, she is.." he says as he throws his head back against the bench "It's so damn complicated and it took me a long time to get my head straight after I left and in just the matter of hours it's screwed all up again. Pushing it to the back was so much easier miles away from her."

"Well, we've just put another round on our tabs so why don't we just go back inside and down the beers we've ordered. If you decide then that you want to speak you can or we can go on over and if not then we will leave after we get done. We can go back to the hotel bar. But son, let me just tell you...you can take my advice or not but you may have left things on bad terms, but you cannot run from it forever. You just can't. Maybe seeing her and speaking with be what you need to put all of the past between you two to rest. You might even gain a friend out of it." he says as he stands from the bench "Now, we going to drink these beers or not."

Caleb looks back towards the building and opens his mouth to speak but quickly shuts it again as he stands "Yeah, let's go. Good talk dad."

"You're welcome...and I might just have to go tell her thank you myself for giving me the opportunity to have it with you." he says as he opens the door and heads back in with Caleb trailing off behind him.

As the cross the threshold of the door Caleb pats him on the back, "I will meet you over there. I'm gonna run to the restroom." Jamie nods and pushes his way through the crowd and Caleb turns to the double bathroom doors.

Pushing open the bathroom door, Caleb walks in and to the sink. He puts his hands on either side and takes a few deep steadying breathes and he turns on the water. He runs his hands under the cold water and splashes his face a couple times. He pulls a paper towel out of the holder on the wall and wipes his eyes.

 _Let's just keep to yourself...don't ruin her birthday.._

He huffs and throws the paper towel in the trash as she pulls the bathroom door open to make his way back to his table.

As he reaches the crowd he starts to push his way through the people. He glances back to the table in the corner where she was with her friends and he cannot see the table from where he stands. As he continues on through the crowd he bumps into a girl who is leaving the bar. Grabbing her arm to keep from knocking her over and mutters "Excuse me, I'm sorry." she smiles at him.

"No problem handsome." she says and turns to grab another girls hand that stands at the bar still. As her friend turns around, he stops...it's her.

 _Hanna..._

He sucks in a deep breathe when he sees her. She laughs with the bartender and when she turns around she stops suddenly at the sight of him. Their eyes meet and she gasps, dropping her drink in the floor completely uncaring that it has splattered all over her designer shoes.

"Come on Hanna. We're about to go back on." her friend calls out as she jerks her hand, pulling her through the crowd behind her. Hanna turns back around to look at him with a look of sheer panic on her face. He watches her as she goes back through the crowd and after she has disappeared he shakes his head and pushes through the crowd to the table.

When he reaches Jamie, he sits holding his beer in hand "You get lost?"

The DJ booms through the speakers again as he stops the music,Caleb turns to look at the stage and then back to Jamie. "Alright, the birthday girl and company has requested to sing another song...and who are we to deny the birthday girl, right? So ladies and gentlemen give it up once again for Hanna and friends."

The place erupts in applause as the three girls climb back on stage, dragging Hanna back up behind them. This time, she is not nearly as excited and happy to be in the spotlight. Caleb glances back up to the stage and he can see that she is scanning the crowd to find him as the music starts playing.

"Something like that" he sighs as he picks up his beer and starts to down it while Jamie looks on confused. He sits the bottle back down on the table. He looks back up to his dad and gives him a don't ask look and turns to find the waitress nearby.

"Can I get something stronger?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Now, ladies and gentlemen we have real treat for you. Well, actually these four lovely ladies have a real treat for you. Singing 'Party in The U.S.A'. Take it away ladies"

They all squeal and clap their hands in excitement as Hanna watches Erin jump on stage and whisper something in the DJ's ear before the music starts. One by one she watches as Jennifer and Alyssa jump on stage with Erin who is excitedly gesturing for them to hurry. The music begins to play and Hanna holds up one finger to let them know she will be up in second as they begin to sing.

"Hang on guys! I just got my drink!" Hanna calls out as she picks up her drink, taking a large gulp of liquid courage.

"I hopped off the plane at L.A.X. with a dream and my cardigan. Welcome to the land of fame excess – Hurry up girl!" Erin calls her out as Jennifer and Alyssa keep singing "Am I gonna fit in?"

Taking one last large gulp she rushes to the stage, sticking her hand out for Jennifer to give her a hand.

 _Maybe my Manolo's weren't a good idea to mix with alcohol…_

"My tummy's turnin' and I'm feelin' kinda home sick. Too much pressure and I'm nervous, that's when the taxi man turned on the radio and a Jay-Z song was on. And a Jay-Z song was on. And a Jay-Z song was on." she sings as she starts to feel herself relax.

"So I put my hands up they're playing my song, the butterflies fly away. I'm noddin' my head like yeah, movin' my hips like yeah" she throws her hands up along with the other girls as they sing the words and it is followed by uncontrollable laughter. They keep singing, but mostly laughing as they realize that they are really terrible at karaoke and no one really knows the words. Hanna laughs one time so hard, she throws her head back unable to contain herself, not caring that she may be making herself look like a fool on stage.

When they finish they look at each other, passing a look of embarrassed accomplishment between them. "Oh my god, you guys…that was so much fun!" Jennifer calls out as they exit the stage

"It was really was, but we are REALLY bad" Hanna says as they reach back to the table

"Oh but ladies, the night's festivities has just begun…you just wait." Erin says with a wink

"Let's give these beautiful ladies another hand. Also, if you are feeling friendly…I was informed that today is Hanna's birthday – Hanna if you could please join me back on stage…?" he asks.

 _OH MY GOD…_

"You didn't!" Hanna says as she turns back to Erin with a look of shock on her face

"Free drinks on the house! Go on birthday girl! Get your fine ass up there!" she says excitedly as the other girls cheer.

Hanna gets back up from her bar stool and makes her way back on stage offering up a very nervous smile and wave and she walks back up to the DJ who gives her a quick hug. He lifts the microphone back to his lips "As I said, today is Hanna's birthday so if you have any extra cash – why don't you be generous enough and by Hanna and her friends here a drink. Happy Birthday Hanna." He says as he leans down and kisses her cheek. "Go to the bar and tell them to put a round on my tab." He says with a smile.

"Thank you." She whispers to the DJ offering him an awkward hug

She waves again and walks off stage. When she makes her way back to her table she points at Erin "You. Are. Evil." She says with a laugh "How embarrassing!"

"I. Am. A. Genius." She says back to her with a sly smile, "Plus, since when is Hanna Marin get embarrassed about anything?"

 _Good question…why am I being so weirdly awkward_ _tonight_ _?_

She thinks as she rolls her eyes at her friend. Usually things like this didn't bother her as much as they did tonight. Ever since her outburst this morning, she hasn't felt like herself; she felt shy even. When she was getting ready, she pulled on her favorite red off the shoulder body con dress, she immediately wondered if it was an appropriate attire for the evening...and that NEVER happened. She usually never cared if she stood out, fashion is what she did, so it was no bother for her to make a statement.

 _Maybe it is because this is my first night out without Jordan..? Jordan!_

She pulls` out her cellphone immediately and looks at her screen relieved that there wasn't any missed calls or texts from him. She really wasn't in the mood to talk to him right now...or even think about him. When he had called earlier while she was getting ready, she used the excuse of 'I have to get a shower.' to get him off the phone, telling him she would call him back later. She had planned on it, she even picked up the phone to call but her mind had been way too jumbled with thoughts of Caleb all day, she didn't know if she could handle it. The words take a shower for insistence - as soon as they left her mouth she immediately shuffled back in time to when she jumped in the shower with him at her mom's house, when he was staying there and they were hiding it from her. It had been that type of day, where anything she saw or whatever song she heard took her back to a memory with Caleb.

"Aww, look at her…hopelessly in love with her sexy Australian." Alyssa calls out to the other girls as she lifts her glass "A toast to Hanna on what may be her last birthday as a single woman."

The rest of the girls raise their glasses and look at Hanna, whose glass still sits on the table. She sighs and puts her cellphone back down and lifts her glass. "Cheers." She says with a pretty fake smile as they say "Cheers" back and they clink their glasses and take their drinks.

Hanna wipes the corners of her mouth with her fingers as she swallows her drink "But can we please not make such a big thing about getting married? I mean it's really not that big of a deal, people get married all the time…"

"Okay, spill it girlfriend" Jennifer says pointedly as she sits her cup back down on the table "Did you guys have a fight or something? Because you have been very Anti-Jordan tonight."

 _Have I?_

"No. We are fine I just don't see the point in making it a big deal right now." She says as she rolls her eyes.

The waitress walks up to the table with a tray that holds 4 shots "Okay ladies, I have 4 lemon drop shots for the birthday girl and her friends." she says as she sits them down on the table in front of the girls. Hanna looks at the waitress who just shrugs and says "The guy over there said they were from an old friend?" she says with a smile and walks off.

 _Old friend?_

Hanna looks over her shoulder looking in the direction that the waitress motioned in and can see nothing. She turns back to her friends and shrugs as she picks up the glass and lifts it in the air. The other three girls follow suit and clink their glasses again as they down their shots.

"Let's do another one." Erin calls out over the loud music

"Shot? I don't think. I can't do another shot right now…mojito, yes. Shot…not a chance." Hanna shakes her head, already starting to feel the heat in her belly from the alcohol

"Mojito – yes. Shot – NO. BUT I was talking about a song. Let's do another song!" Erin calls out as she bounces around on her bar stool excitedly.

"Okay, you pick a song…Hanna and I will go on a drink run." Alyssa says with a smile as she grabs Hanna's hand as they start to walk off.

"I am good right now." Jennifer calls out holding up her glass that is still half full

"Yeah, me too…hurry back!" Erin calls out as she flips through the DJ's list of songs.

Hanna and Alyssa make their way through the crowd, towards crowded bar. Once they reach it, Hanna walks up and stands there for a few seconds before the bartender walks over to her.

"What can I get the birthday girl?" he says with a wink

"Two mojitos please." She says with a smile

"Coming right up." He says as he walks off

They stand there for a few minutes before Alyssa leans up to Hanna's ear and whispers "Hottie at 2 o'clock. Hurry and grab our drinks so I can accidentally bump into him." Hanna laughs over her shoulder at her friend as the bartender walks over to her with two cups in hand. Handing one over her shoulder to Alyssa who screams "Hurry! He's coming". Hanna turns back to the bartender as Alyssa grabs her hand pulling her from the bar.

"How much?" she calls

"On the house! Happy birthday!" he says with another wink.

Hanna laughs as she waves and tells him thank you just as Alyssa pulls her back into the crowd. She can hear her friend say "No problem handsome" and she can tell that it was a mission accomplished. She turns her head to face them. Stopping dead in her tracks as she stands face to face with Caleb. His dark brown eyes staring back into her wide blue ones. She gasps as their eyes lock and before she can catch it; she has dropped her drink from her hand, just barely registering it splashing all over her feet.

 _Caleb…?_

Alyssa pulls her on through the crowd and it is as if everything is in slow motion. She turns her head and looks back over her shoulder at him. He stands completely still in the crowd, shocked to see her too. She blinks, he is still there.

 _Oh my god, he is really here. Not just in my mind…in New York…in this bar…and oh my god, he is…god he is so damn hot._

She keeps her eyes locked on him until she loses him in the crowd as Alyssa pulls her father and farther away from him to the front of the bar. Once they arrive back at their table, Alyssa smiles and tells the other girls how she ran into 'Mr. Tall Dark and Damn Fine' as she is referring to him. Hanna can hear them talking but it sounds like they are off in the distance, not standing right beside her. She looks back over her shoulder towards where she left him but he is no longer there.

"HANNA!" Alyssa calls, snapping her out of her daze and she turns to face her friend "Tell them how delicious that guy was. I am so going to find him after we rock this thing."

Hanna still stands in silence. In her mind she is trying to process what is happening around her.

The DJ booms through the speakers again as he stops the music, making Hanna jump as he begins to speak "Alright, the birthday girl and company has requested to sing another song...and who are we to deny the birthday girl, right? So ladies and gentlemen give it up once again for Hanna and friends."

"Guys, I can't do this right now." Hanna pleads as she looks at her friends

"What?! Hanna we said one more. Just guzzle your drink and get your ass on that stage. I picked us a good one...your favorite!." Erin says as she gives her a confused look "Where is your drink?"

 _Shit! My Manolo's!_

"I uh, I dropped it as we were heading back to the table." she mumbles as she gestures down at her covered feet.

"Well, come on and we will get you another one after." Jennifer says as she grabs Hanna's hand and pulls her on stage.

She stands in the spotlights on the stage and scans the crowd for him, unable to find him. She can hear that the music has started but she hasn't registered the lyrics yet. She looks over at her friends that sing into their microphones "Shoo-oo-doo-oooh doo, yeah yeah."

She then notes that the music is to "Always Be my Baby" coming from the speakers

 _Oh no no no…I can't do this. Always be My Baby….Mariah Carey? Really?! It's like they want me to crawl in a hole and die._

She steps back from the microphone and turns to her friends with wide eyes and shakes her head no mouthing "I can't" to them

"Doo-doo doo doo doo doo dow. Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, yeah." They sing as they shake their heads yes.

 _No, you don't understand…10 minutes ago, I could have done this…now I CAN'T!_

She screams at them in her head as she misses her cue. Jennifer pushes her closer to the microphone and she fixes her eyes on the screen displaying the words in front of her.

She begins to read and sing along "Now you wanna be free, so I'm letting you fly. 'Cause I know in my heart baby, our love will never die no. "she softly sings as her friends chime in with "Woah, ooh, oh-yeah, yeah. Boy don't you know you can't escape me. Oooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby."

 _Keep your eyes on the screen Hanna and you can do this…_

She coaches herself as she doesn't even dare blink as she sings. She can feel his eyes on her from somewhere inside the bar. There are tons of eyes on her, but his are different, and she knows it. "I'm not gonna cry, no and I won't beg you to stay. If you're determined to leave boy, I will not stand in your way but inevitably, you'll be back again. 'Cause you know in your heart, baby, our love will never end, no."

 _Don't do it Hanna...don't you dare look up._

As the words leave her mouth she can no longer take the heat of his stare and she glances up hoping not to find him. It's as if suddenly the crowd has parted and she can only see him standing in the far corner of the bar or at least it seems that way in her mind. Their eyes lock and for a brief second she could have sworn she heard another gasp escape her mouth. She stands staring, looking into him from across the room. He picks up his shot glass and downs the brown liquid inside sitting the glass down he stares back at her. She glances down at the screen, she can see the words on the screen that she should be singing but they become blurrier and blurrier. She blinks trying to bring the words into focus but then she can barely see the screen at all. She tries to take a deep breath, but her lungs refuse to work, it's as if she is underwater and cannot breathe. She can feel the tears as the prick the backs of her eyes.

 _Tears…Don't cry Hanna, don't cry…abort mission but do not cry!_

This time a gasp really does escape her mouth as she tries to fill her lungs with air and she jumps down from the stage. Stopping by the table she picks up the shot glass that sits there and downs the shot before making her way through the crowd and out the doors. Once the cold air hits her face she takes a deep breath and puts her hands on her head. She paces the street in front of the bar, taking deep breathes…her lungs never quite filling with enough air to calm her down. She shakes her hands out to get them to quit trembling.

 _Why does he do this to me? How can he still do this to me? He is Caleb, that is why… What is he doing here? After all this time…how do I? Can I?_

She thinks as she paces the sidewalk back and forth. Finally she stops and pulls her shoes off, not caring that her bare feet are on the nasty New York sidewalk. Holding them in her hand, as she turns back around to pace once more she stops. He stands there…in front of her on the sidewalk. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't have to. He just looks at her, his dark brown eyes giving him away…he's nervous. Hanna tries to slow her heartbeat that beats like a drum in her chest. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it back and looks down at the ground and then back up at her. She opens hers to speak but realizing that she still cannot find her voice she stops.

He opens his mouth again, this time he speaks "Hi Han."

His voice makes her shudder as butterflies erupt in her stomach and chill bumps surface on her arms. She looks down as her arms to see if they give her away. She looks back up at him, he stands with his arms awkwardly by his side, his chest moving up and down so fast that she can tell that he is having trouble catching his breath.

 _Speak…Breathe…Move….Something…_

She scolds herself as her knees begin to shake under her, giving her away. She clears her throat and tries again "Hi." She chokes out but it is just a whisper. They stand in silence again, just staring at each other as people walk around them. In her mind, they move around them in such a fast pace, almost like they are in fast forward while Caleb and her are stuck in real time…maybe even in slow motion. Before she can stop herself the words come right out of her mouth, "What are you doing here?"

He half chuckles and looks down at the ground and scratches the back of his head, no doubt debating his answer, "I uh, I am here on business."

"In this bar on business? Or in this city on business?" the words come out harsher than she wanted them to. "I'm sorry I just…I didn't expect to see you here is all...it's just been a long time."

He sighs "Yeah, I know what you mean…" he says, his eyes searching hers "I, uh I am in this city on business. I'm in this bar catching up, with dad." he says as he points over his shoulder towards the building.

"Jamie's here?" Her minds goes back to what the waitress said when she delivered the first shots 'The guy over there said they were from an old friend' and she blurts out "Were you the one that sent us those drinks?"

"Drinks? No, I uh" he shakes his head in confusion "We were just about to leave. I didn't see you and your friends come in and when the DJ said your name earlier I – uh…I didn't want to ruin your birthday so we were just finishing our rounds and heading out."

"Ruin my birthday? You could never ruin my birthday." She whispers shaking her head in disbelief "Why would you think being here would ruin it for me?"

"You know, you say that but so far I have you drop a drink on your Manila's, screw up your favorite Mariah Carey song, and right now you are standing out on the sidewalk barefoot. Doesn't exactly sound like a good time to me."

Hanna chuckles and looks down at her feet on the ground and back up at him "Manolo's" she corrects him playfully. He gives her a small smile and a confusing look. She returns his smile and holds up her shoes "They're Manolo's…nice try though…you get points for knowing that they are Manolo's and not Louboutin's."

He half smiles at her, but she can tell it's forced. She slowly takes s step forward to him and he follows her lead and takes one to her. She takes another and so does he, they do this until they are in an arms length of each other. She stills, knowing this will never end well if she does it...if she touches him she will break, but she wants to anyway. She lifts her arms out to hug him and when she does Alyssa bursts out the door, making her jump and drop her shoes onto the concrete.

"There you are!" she says as she rolls her eyes looking at Hanna "We got worried, we didn't know where you went." she says as she walks right in between them grabbing Hanna's arms "Are you okay?"

Hanna watches Caleb as he backs away awkwardly giving the friends their space "Yeah, I am fine...I just...I needed some air." she says as she glances down at her friend and then back at Caleb.

"Okay, well come...on...back...did I interrupt something?" she asks as she looks over her shoulder and sees Caleb standing there. She whips around to face him, moving beside Hanna "I am so sorry" she says as a smile creeps across her face "I am Alyssa" she says as she sticks her hand out to shake his.

 _You need to back up Alyssa...I know the game you're playing...he won't fall for it..._

She thinks as she rolls her eyes and watches Caleb reach out to shake her hand.

"Caleb."

Alyssa smiles again and looks between the two of them "Do you guys know each other?"

They stand staring at each other, never even acknowledging that they are no longer alone. Hanna finally speaks "Yeah. We uh...we go way back. Caleb is a ..." she swallows "Caleb is a good friend from back home..." she says with a smile.

"Oh!" Alyssa sighs "Well, do you want to come in and hang with us? I mean Hanna may be off the market but I might could squeeze a dance in with you." she says flirtatiously.

Hanna turns her head and gapes at her friend "Alyssa!"

 _She. Did. Not. Just. Do. That._

"What?" she squeaks

Hanna turns and looks back to Caleb, his eyes look pained, hurt "Off the market huh?" he says, his tone has changed.

"Yeah, she hasn't told you? She is engaged to one of New York's - " Hanna steps in and cuts her off

"Shut up Lyssa!" she whispers as she pushes her friend and glances back up at Caleb.

"Engaged? Wow. I uh - I had no idea. Congratulations. He's a...He's a lucky man." he says, with a shake of his hand and then he looks down at the ground "I uh - I better get back in here and get Jamie...it was good to see you Han." he says with a forced smile, and then he is gone. Disappearing inside the building as Hanna stands on the sidewalk watching on unable to move to stop him.

Alyssa just smiles back at her "How come you didn't tell me you knew him! He is so HOT! You have got to get me the hook up." She turns her glare to Alyssa who stands beside her, she can almost barely contain her anger.

 _Calm down...she doesn't know anything about him. God, how come it couldn't have been Jen to come out looking for her, she knows._

"Why did you do that Alyssa?"

"Do what? What did I do?" she squeaks completely oblivious.

Hanna huffs "Nothing. Let's just get back in here." she says as she grabs her shoes from the sidewalk and puts them back on and stalks back into the building. When she enters, she begins to scan the crowd looking for him, but cannot see anything so she sulkily walks back to the table with Alyssa following behind her. When she reaches the table the other two girls stand there both of them shoot her a look and Hanna rolls her eyes "Don't ask" she says as she takes her place at the table.

Alyssa walks up "So, you guys...how about the hottie I ran into - he's an old friend of Hanna's! She is going to get me the hook up with him!" she claps

Hanna rolls her eyes and before she can say anything someone taps her on the shoulder. She turns around to face Jamie standing there offering her a big smile.

"I just wanted to come tell the birthday girl happy birthday before we left." he says as he bends down to hug her.

"Thank you." she whispers as she fixes her eyes on Caleb who stands silently behind him in the crowd.

"You will always be my favorite daughter in law Hanna, even if you were just almost one. I wouldn't be able to hang out with my son if it wasn't for you. Thank you." he whispers and pulls back from her. "I am still here you know. Just a few miles away from here...don't be a stranger." he says.

 _Not this. Not now._

She can feel the tears prick at her eyes as she smiles at him and hugs him again. This time she closes her eyes, not daring to look at Caleb who still stands behind them. He pulls back from her again and turns to walk off. Caleb walks up to her, his thumbs hooked into his belt loops.

"We are about to head out. I just wanted to come say bye. It was really good to see you."

"Yeah, you too." she says as she offers him a smile.

 _Goodbye? Again.? Break my heart why don't you._

He turns around to leave and them turns back around to her his mouth open as if to say something but quickly shuts it back. She smiles again and opens her arms for a hug. He walks in to her, making her gasps as he wraps his around her, putting one hand on the back of her head. She slides her hands around his back underneath his jacket and rests her chin on his shoulder. Screwing her eyes shut, knowing that tears are not far from spilling.

He sighs next to her ear and it makes shivers run down her spine "Happy Birthday Han." he whispers

"Thank you." she almost sobs in reply.

He pulls back from her offering her one last smile "Bye."

She swallows and whispers "Bye" as he turns and walks out of the bar. Hanna looks up at the ceiling forcing the tears in her eyes away before turning back to the table and her friends. Jennifer shoots her a questioning look as Hanna grabs the glass off the table and downs the shot that sits in front of her. Jennifer leans in to her "Was that..?"

"Yeah, it was." she breathes as she picks up the glass that sits in front of her friend and turns it up, sitting the glass back down on the table when she is done. "I need to use the bathroom." she whispers as she turns away from the table.

She pushes her way through the crowd, trying to make it to the bathroom before the tears fall.


	3. Chapter 3

**One more sad-ish Chapter guys...and then I promise there will be less tears. Just hang in there, it will get better. :)**

* * *

When she reaches the bathrooms, she completely bypasses the line ignoring all the angry words she hears thrown in her direction. She opens a stall door and closes it behind her; taking several deep breathes again, trying to calm herself down. She flips the lid down over the seat and sits down. She takes a few more deep breathes, the tears start to fall from her eyes as her breathing turns into very loud, alcohol inducted sobs.

 _He's gone…he's really gone. I mean, he's been gone, but now that he knows about Jordan, he is really gone. He won't come back...why didn't he come back after Europe? That would've saved us all mess._

She kicks off her shoes and bringing her knees to her chest, resting her bare feet on the lid of the toilet. She stays locked in the stall for a long time before someone knocks on the door "This one is taken!" she yells as she wipes her eyes. She can hear the grumbles from the person on the other side of the door. She huffs and puts her shoes back on standing on wobbly legs she slings the door open.

"Look, if you only knew the kind of night I've had, you wouldn't care that I wanted to sob in the only open bathroom stall. I am engaged, engaged to a wonderful man that I love. And I just ran into for the first time in years and said goodbye to the very first love of my life - it has been 3 years since I walked out of our apartment and returned to find him gone…at least he said goodbye this time but that is not the point. I came out today to have fun with my girlfriends while my fiancé was out of town. I was fine, I was happy...ish and BOOM! Caleb shows up right on time to screw with my head…on my birthday and it's been a really shitty night, but don't worry….the stall is open." she says as she gives the girl waiting in line an icy glare as she walks off and turns back around to look at her "By the way, it's out of toilet paper." She says as she walks up to the mirrors and fixes her makeup. Pulling a paper towel out of the holder on the wall she begins to wipe the mascara streaks form her cheeks.

The girl on the other end of her wrath at the stalls walks up behind her at the sink and Hanna stares at her in the mirror She feels a twinge of regret for exploding. She turns around to face her "Hey, look…I'm sorry for yelling at you…I've just…I have had a really REALLY bad night."

"Did that really just happen to you?"

Hanna looks down at her hands knotted in front of her "Yeah, uh…it did…Something straight out of an Adele song, right?" she chuckles

"Wow. I'm sorry…you can have the stall back if you need it."

Hanna laughs "No, thank you though. I'm not going to spend my night crying in the bathroom…I've done that too many times before." She says with a smile as she tears the ends of the napkin she holds in her hand.

"Do you love him? Caleb?"

The tears well back up in her eyes as she looks back at this total stranger giving her advice in the bathroom of a bar "It's not that simple…" she says with a shrug

"Honey, it's only as complicated as you make it...but if you don't think there is any way you can fix it, there is no sense in letting it ruin your night. You go out there and have fun, you can think about it tomorrow." She says with a smile and heads back to the line and waits for her turn again at the stall.

 _That is the best advice I have gotten all night!_

Hanna turns back to face the mirror, she fixes her hair and fixes her smudged makeup. Smoothing the front of her dress and turns to head out of the bathroom, stopping briefly to say "Thank you" to the woman in line. She swings the bathroom door open and makes her way back into the crowd. As she pushes through the people she mentally coaches herself again.

 _Have fun tonight…think about Caleb tomorrow…Jordan tomorrow…_

When she reaches the table her friends all turn to her offering worried looks. Hanna gives them a smile that says I'm okay and sits back down on the bar stool left open.

"Hey, you good?" Jennifer asks

"Yeah, I will be." She smiles "Let's not let this ruin tonight…I will figure it all out tomorrow."

She picks up the glass that sits in front of her and raises it up in the air. Her friends look at each other before giving in and lifting theirs too.

"Cheers" they all say in unison.

Two hours and several drinks later the girls clamber off the dance floor and back to the table. Hanna picks up her glass to take another drink when Erin yanks it out of her hand "Hey, I wasn't finished with that." Hanna yells as she reaches for her drink.

"Yeahhh, you are. We're cuttin ya off babe. You've really had enough."

 _Listen to them Hanna…you need to stop while you're ahead…_

She sighs and rests her head on her hands "How come he never came back? Jen, you were there to witness it, why did he never come back? You should have seen how angry he was about me being engaged to Jordan. And I love him…Jordan...I really do, it's just…" she asks her friends who all look towards each other before Jennifer being the only one of them that was around to experience the breakup, for a reply.

"Oh honey." She says as she wraps her arms around Hanna, pulling her close "Let's not go back there…not tonight okay? Let's get ya home."

"You mean the apartment that I used to share with Caleb…the one that I am now packing up to move in with Jordan…that home?" she looks at Jennifer and her eyes burn "Okay." She gets up from her stool turns to walk out the door.

 _God, get yourself together Marin…you are an awfully emotional drunk…_

They all walk out of the bar and to the street in front to hail a cab. Once they have Hanna situated in the cab they all climb in "Where to?" the driver says as he turns to them in the backseat, "Is she okay? Will she puke in my cab?" he asks after he sees the state Hanna is in.

"I'm fine! Really, more heartbroken than drunk...but still I will be fine." she says in the direction of the driver as she lays her head on the window.

They ride in mostly silence, until they think that Hanna is asleep. Finally Alyssa breaks the silence, "So, what happened between them?" she whispers in Jennifer's direction

Jen looks back over her shoulder at Hanna who still sits with her head on the window and her eyes closed, silent. She sighs and turns back to the other girls and starts to whisper "When Hanna and I first started working together a couple years ago her and Caleb had just moved to the city. They had been together for years before they moved here, and they were totally in love. Well, they had been planning this trip to Europe for months, and she was really excited about it but we worked for a designer that was very demanding and the night they were supposed to leave, she made Hanna come in. They got into a huge fight about it and she went to leave to come on in to work and he left for Europe. He packed everything he owned, and was gone. She hasn't seen him since."

"Oh my god. That is awful. Poor thing!" Erin calls out

"Yeah, now I feel crap for trying to get the hook up with him. How come she didn't try to contact him if she loved him so much?" Alyssa says

"Well - " Jen starts but is cut off by Hanna

"She left off the part where I abandoned the cab on the way to work and ran all the way back to our apartment in the pouring rain to catch him before he left. To apologize, and when I got there, he had packed everything he owned, except his cellphone that he left on the table." She says with a sigh and turns to look at her friends "No explanation, no goodbye, nothing. And as much as I would love to be mad at him for that, I did it to myself...he told me he wouldn't be there when I got back, I just didn't know that he wouldn't come back at all."

"And Jordan?" Erin asks on the other side of the cab

Hanna sighs again and lays her head back on the window "Jordan came along almost a year after. We just clicked one day and that was it...a year later we were engaged, and it's been almost a year now and I haven't even set a date yet." she lifts her head up from the window and looks at the other girls "And I really do love him, I do. I know it doesn't seem like it after tonight but it's true. He is everything I could ever ask for in a husband. He is charming; he is understanding, and hardworking. He is loyal and protecting. He gets the business and he accepts it and he really really loves me...I know that he does. It is just...It's different than what I had with Caleb...and I have always known that. I just...I didn't expect to see him again, so I was okay with it ya know?" she doesn't wait for her friends to reply before she begins to ramble on again "But on the bright side of this, he isn't staying so I am really getting myself all upset over nothing because in a few days he will go back to wherever he has been and then we will be back to regularly scheduled programming."

 _Will we? Yeah, we will. It's not like he is staying here. He is going back, and chances of seeing him again are very slim. Maybe I should just stay at home for the next few days to make sure it doesn't happen again...yeah, that is what I will do...then I will narrow down a date and get this ball moving._

The girls sit in complete silence and Hanna sits looking out the window, lost in her thoughts. They pull up to Erin's building first and she gets out, saying she will see them at work on Monday and paying her part of the fare. When she closes the door the girls shuffle farther apart in the back of the cab.

Jennifer looks over to Alyssa "My place is up next...you sure you'll be okay getting her home?"

"I don't need help, I really am fine...I promise." Hanna says, never taking her eyes from the window

"Are you sure?" Alyssa asks

"Guys, I can let myself into my own building, it's not that hard."

When they arrive at Jennifer's apartment she gets out and closes the door, leaving Hanna and Alyssa sitting alone in silence. As the cab pulls away she sighs and turns to Hanna "Look, I am really sorry about Caleb..."

"Yeah, me too." she whispers

As Alyssa climbs out of the cab when they arrive at her building, Hanna lays her head against the window. As the driver pulls off from the curb outside her apartment, she allows herself to cry. She cries quietly in the backseat but as the driver gets closer and closer to her apartment she stops herself, giving her eyes time to settle before she has to walk into her building. She closes her eyes and sighs and when she opens them she is shocked. She sits straight up in the backseat of the cab.

"Caleb?" she says as she looks towards the man walking down the sidewalk "What the?"

 _This CANNOT be happening... You know what, let's settle this once and for all..._

As she cab rolls past, and she knows it's him she yells "Stop the cab!"

"Miss? You okay? Are you going to be sick?"

"JUST STOP THE CAB!" she yells, this time he obliges and pulls off the curb a short distance in from of him. She climbs out and slams the door behind her, making Caleb stop in his spot on the sidewalk

"Hanna, what are you doing?"

"You have no right to come here and be angry that I'm engaged to someone else!" she screams at him

"Han, what are you talking about? Are you drunk?"

"Oh don't try to pull that crap on me. It may have been a long time since I've seen you, but I can still read you. I still know you...better than I know myself sometimes. I saw it in your eyes, you were hurt and you were pissed when Alyssa told you I was engaged. You have NO right Caleb! Not now, not after all this time!" she screams again.

"Hanna, calm down..." he says trying to defuse the situation

"Don't. Don't tell me to calm down."

"MISS?!" the cab driver calls from the cab and she turns around and holds up one finger, saying she will just be a minute.

Caleb blinks at her, and opens his mouth to say something but she cuts him off again

"And you know what, maybe I am drunk but come on…this was a really bad night. I think I am handling it quite well considering."

"But you said -"

"I know what I said and I lied okay!" she screams as she throws her arms out by her side "For a long time, I wished and hoped for tonight to happen. I wanted to see you so bad, I wanted to talk to you and work it out. I wanted to apologize for the way it ended. It never happened so I gave up. I met Jordan and moved on. I was happy, I was happy with life...until tonight. Tonight showed me that even though I am happy and it's not with you, even when I have always wanted it to be - you can still just waltz right into my life out of the blue and make me question myself. So yeah, it did ruin tonight for me. It's not fair that you can still do this to me." she screams as tears come to her eyes.

 _DO. NOT. CRY. HANNA MARIN._

"Hanna, I didn't mean-"

"I know you didn't mean too...you just do, Caleb. Every time. And it's really REALLY unfair." and she says as she turns back to the cab.

"Do you love him?" he asks from behind her and it makes her stop

She turns back to face him "Don't ask me questions like that."

"Why not?" he says as he takes a step toward her

"MISS?! I really have to get going..." the cab driver calls again but she never even acknowledges him.

"Because. Don't make me say it...not to you." she says as a tear escapes and runs down her cheek. They stand there, staring at each other not saying a word.

"I want to hear you say it...say it..." he says as he closes in the space between the two of them.

"Yeah, I do but -." she whispers

He shakes his head no to stop her mid-sentence. Swallowing hard he stares at the ground and when he looks up she can see the sadness in his eyes "See, that….that is all matters...that you are happy. That's the best I can ask for you."

They stand there again, no words – just stares and silence.

"MISS! I am about to have to leave and I would really hate to leave you in the dark to walk the rest of the way!" the cab driver calls back out from the window.

Hanna turns her head to face him still waiting on the curb. She looks back to Caleb "I guess I better go." As she says it, the tears that have been threatening fall from her eyes.

"Yeah…I guess so." He whispers back, fighting tears of his own

She turns and heads for the cab. When she reaches for the handle she blinks and the dam breaks. She turns back around to Caleb

"Why didn't you come back? I just need to know why. I came back but you didn't. I waited and waited – no calls, texts, email nothing. I walked around like a crazy person for weeks crying all the time, seeing you ever where, when you were nowhere to be seen. I waited for you as long as I could, when you never came back I eventually had to pick up the million little pieces of my broken heart and move on with life the best I could." she sobs, this time not caring about the tears.

"Han, you just have to understand-"

"No! You have to understand I – I…." she stops and breathes in deep "I'm gonna be sick." She says as she leans over the bushes. Caleb reaches her just in time to grab her hair back from her face and holds it in a ponytail in his hands. She hangs her head after she's done, with her hands on her knees she braces herself. She stands and wobbles, Caleb reaching out to stable her "I'm sorry." She mumbles through tears.

He reaches out and wipes her tears from her eyes, "Are you okay? Where are your friends?"

"I've already dropped them off…like 20 minutes ago now…" the cab driver chimes in as she gets out of the car and hands Caleb a paper towel "I really hate to be that guy, but I do have to keep going…what's it gonna be sweetheart?" he asks as he looks at Hanna.

"Yeah, uh I'll go with her and make sure she gets home okay." he says as he reaches over to wipe first her cheeks, then her mouth

"I'm fine." Hanna says beside him as she takes the paper towel from his hand.

Caleb and the cab driver exchange looks and he wraps Hanna's arm around his neck and walks her slowly to the cab. He sits her down inside and walks around to the other door, opens it and slides in. The driver pulls off the curb and into the street. Caleb watches her from across the seat as she lays her head against the window. She shifts suddenly, kicking off her shoes and lays down on the seat curling into a ball and laying her head in his lap, taking him by surprise. He hesitates but reaches down and gently strokes her head with his hand. She begins to quietly sob and he shushes her.

"It was pouring down rain that night. I jumped out of the cab sitting in the traffic and I ran back to the apartment to apologize and so we could leave for Europe together. I knew that I had made a mistake by leaving, so I jumped out of the cab and ran back. I came back, and you were gone. I called your phone, and it lit up on the table and in that very second I knew that I had ruined everything. I am so sorry Caleb, I am so sorry."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hope you guys like this chapter. Tried to go less Angst-y more upbeat. Let me know what you think!**

* * *

"I know you didn't mean too...you just do, Caleb. Every time. And it's really REALLY unfair."

 _Hanna, I didn't mean too...honestly._

Caleb watches her as she walks towards the cab to leave, he blinks - once, twice and then the words fall out of his mouth before he can think about it again

 _Ask her, you have got to know._

"Do you love him?"

She stops and then turns back to face him "Don't ask me questions like that."

He takes a deep breath and steps closer to her "Why not?"

"MISS?! I really have to get going..." the cab driver calls again Caleb never takes his eyes off of her as she thinks about her answer.

 _But do you really want to know…?_

"Because. Don't make me say it...not to you." she says and he can see the tear that escapes her eyes and runs down her cheek.

 _Say yes...prove to me that I made the right decision. NO! Say no...say you don't love him..._

His heart races as he takes another step forward "I want to hear you say it...say it..."

"Yeah, I do but -." she whispers

He shakes his head no to stop her mid-sentence. Swallowing hard he stares at the ground and when he looks up she watches him with tears in her eyes "See, that….that is all matters...that you are happy. That's the best I can ask for you."

They stand there again, no words – just stares and silence.

"MISS! I am about to have to leave and I would really hate to leave you in the dark to walk the rest of the way!" the cab driver calls back out from the window.

Hanna turns her head to face him still waiting on the curb. She looks back to him "I guess I better go." As she says it, he can see the tears fall from her eyes.

 _Just let her go man. She is happy...Don't keep her from that._

"Yeah…I guess so." He whispers back and he can feel his eyes burn.

She turns and heads for the cab and he watches her as she reaches for the door handle and then she sobs and he gasps at the sound. She whips her head back around to look at him then she starts to speak

"Why didn't you come back? I just need to know why. I came back but you didn't."

 _Came back? She came back...what does that even mean?_

"I waited and waited – no calls, texts, email nothing. I walked around like a crazy person for weeks crying all the time, seeing you ever where, when you were nowhere to be seen. I waited for you as long as I could, when you never came back I eventually had to pick up the million little pieces of my broken heart and move on with life the best I could."

"Han, you just have to understand-"

 _I was just doing what I thought was best…_

"No! You have to understand I – I…." she stops and breathes in deep. "I'm gonna be sick." She says as she leans over the bushes.

He reaches her just in time to grab her hair back from her face and holds it in a ponytail in his hands. She hangs her head after she's done, with her hands on her knees she braces herself. She stands and wobbles, and he quickly reaches out to stable her as she mumbles "I'm sorry." through tears.

He reaches out and wipes her tears from her eyes, "Are you okay? Where are your friends?"

"I've already dropped them off…like 20 minutes ago now…" the cab driver chimes in as he gets out of the car and hands him a paper towel "I really hate to be that guy, but I do have to keep going…what's it gonna be sweetheart?" he asks as he looks at Hanna.

"Yeah, uh I'll go with her and make sure she gets home okay." Caleb says as he reaches over to wipe first her cheeks, then her mouth.

"I'm fine." Hanna says beside him as she takes the paper towel from his hand.

 _Yeah, no you're not. You're drunk._

Caleb looks at the cab driver and they exchange questioning looks. He wraps Hanna's arm around his neck and walks her slowly to the cab. He sits her down inside and walks around to the other door, opens it and slides in. The driver pulls off the curb and into the street. He watches her from across the seat as she lays her head against the window. She shifts suddenly, kicking off her shoes and lays down on the seat curling into a ball and laying her head in his lap, taking him by surprise. He hesitates but reaches down and gently strokes her head with his hand. She begins to quietly sob and he shushes her.

"It was pouring down rain that night. I jumped out of the cab sitting in the traffic and I ran back to the apartment to apologize and so we could leave for Europe together. I knew that I had made a mistake by leaving, so I jumped out of the cab and ran back. I came back, and you were gone. I called your phone, and it lit up on the table and in that very second I knew that I had ruined everything. I am so sorry Caleb, I am so sorry."

 _She came back after I left…to the apartment…after I was already gone…_

He opens his mouth to reply, stopping himself to think about his answer and before he can come up with words to say he can hear her soft snoring from his lap, she's out. He kind of chuckles, because that's all he can do. He continues to rub her hair as he stares out the window, deep in thought.

 _She came back..._

After a few minutes of silence the driver speaks "She loves you, you know..." he says from the front of the car, making Caleb turn to meet his gaze in the rear view mirror of the car "I mean, I don't know you or her so pardon me if that is a step over the line...but I heard her talking to her other friends before I dropped them off...and I saw what just happened on that sidewalk...she loves you. I have seen a lot of drunken rants on these streets trust me, but that..." he raises his eyebrows and shakes his head "That wasn't fueled by anger or by alcohol...that was something else."

Caleb stares at the driver in the mirror but doesn't say anything.

The driver chuckles under his breath and "And you love her, so you need to tell her."

Caleb looks down at her head in his lap and back up to the mirror at the driver "Yeah, I know." he looks down at Hanna again and then back up in the mirror "She's engaged to someone else though."

"So I heard. Just tell her how you feel. I have a feeling she will listen." he says with a wink in the mirror.

"Exactly how much did you hear?"

This time he laughs out loud before answering "Pretty much all of it...lots of history between the two of you huh?"

"Yeah, something like that..." he says as he looks back down at a sleeping Hanna in his lap and he rubs her head.

"We're here my friend." He says as he pulls the cab to the curb outside of an apartment building

Caleb looks out the window and up at the building, recognizing it immediately and he smiles. He shakes Hanna "Han...Hanna...wake up... We're here." he says but she doesn't budge. He leans up and pulls his wallet out of his pocket for the fare, and then he pulls her into his lap and carefully shimmies out of the seat.

He stands out of the cab and shuts the door with his hip and turns back to the driver "Thanks man."

The driver nods to him and says "Have a good night. Tell her if not tonight, then before you leave." and laughs as he puts the car in drive and pulls away. Caleb turns back around to the building and then looks down at Hanna. He walks through the doors and makes his way to the stairs. When he makes it to the door he tries to wake her again "Han, Han…wake up. I need your keys." This time she opens her eyes and nods. She pulls the keys out of her bag and wiggles to get down out of his arms. He gently sits her down and she fumbles with the keys for a few minutes.

 _Man man man…Hanna…you really do not handle your liquor well…_

He thinks with a laugh as she finally finds the right key and opens the door. He walks behind her as she lowly makes her way through the apartment to the bedroom. Once inside she kicks off her shoes by the nightstand and lays down, face down on the bed. He shakes his head and walks into the bathroom that adjoins the bedroom. He smiles when he realizes that she still puts her pajamas on the same hook on the bathroom wall.

 _Well, at least some things never change…_

He grabs the shirt off of the hook and throws it over his shoulder, picking up the shorts that hang on the hook he walks back into the bedroom. He stands in the doorway of the bathroom for a minute just looking at her as she sleeps. She looks peaceful but she snores, something that he knew she only did when she had too much to drink. He walks back over to the bed and lays the clothes down beside her as he debates how he will wake her up to get them on. He sits down on the edge of the bed and hesitates before he touches her back to shake her "Han…Hanna, wake up. I brought your pajamas. Han…" when she doesn't wake he huffs. He leans down and his fingers linger over the zipper on the back of the dress. He carefully unzips her dress, exposing her back.

Slowly, he sits her up and she doesn't fight him. Her eyes slightly open as he slides the straps off of her shoulders "Arms up" he says as he holds out the shirt and she lifts her arms in the air. He slides the shirt down over her dress. She falls back on the bed on her back, and he rolls his eyes then grabs the bottom hem of the dress and pulls it down over her legs. Grabbing the shorts beside her, he slides them up and over her legs. He leans over her, sliding his hand between her back and the mattress; lifting her to his chest and he moves her to lay her head on the pillow. He nuzzles her hair taking a deep breath as he does.

 _She smells the same…like Hanna…like home...I miss it._

When he lays her back down her eyes sling open and she moans "Ugh, I'm going to be sick." she says as she sits up. He reaches over and grabs the trash can that sits by the desk and hands it to her. He walks into the bathroom and looks around before opening the cabinet that used to hold the rags to find that they were still there. He grabs one and closes it back before he turns to the sink to run it under warm water. He opens the medicine cabinet and grabs her makeup remover wipes and closes it back before he heads back into the bedroom.

The trash can sits back on the floor beside the bed and she lays on her back with her arm thrown over her eyes. He walks over to the bed and sits down beside her and moves her arm. He picks up the rag and wipes her face then he picks up a wipe out of the container and gently wipes her eyes, removing her eye makeup as best he can. Once he is done, he sighs as he stands and pulls the covers from the foot of the bed up and over her and sits back down on top of them.

He sighs again and holds the bridge of his nose "Now that I can get a word in…let me explain myself. The night I left…after you walked out, I uh…I sat on this very bed, in this very spot and I looked around this room. I thought about all the good times and all the bad ones. I thought about staying and waiting on you to get back home. I thought about working it out and then I thought about leaving." he stops to think of the words to stay before continuing.

"We fought so hard all the time…together…we fought against a lot more than most couples ever have to – but it got to where all we fought, was each other. So I listened to the little voice in the back of my mind that told me to leave, and I did. That doesn't mean that I wanted to and that doesn't mean I didn't want to come back. I just didn't because I wanted you to be happy again. I have seen you happy, really happy and you just weren't anymore and maybe I took the coward's way out. Maybe I jumped ship when it got tough but it was really hard. I thought about how I would react when I found out you had moved on with someone else…and I knew you would eventually. I told myself I would be happy for you and I am, but you are right I am mad…mostly I am mad because I know deep down I should've come back or never left and none of this would even be an issue." He reaches out and brushes the hair out of her face before continuing "I will always care. You will always be the one person I love…loved more than anything or anyone and if you are happy, then I will find a way to be happy…for you."

He leans down and kisses her temple before he stands up from the bed and walks towards the door. Before he walks out, he turns to look over his shoulder at her while she sleeps then heads out the door for the living room. He looks around the living nothing that everything was exactly like he remembered it. As he walks around the couch, he runs his fingers over the back of it. He walks around and sits down and puts his head in his hands.

He lays back on the couch and puts his arm on his head.

 _I was just walking back to the hotel from Jamie's apartment…how did I end up here? Hanna on whiskey…that's how._

He chuckles and looks up at the ceiling as thoughts of the night flash through his mind. He closes his eyes and before he knows it, he is asleep

* * *

Hanna wakes in bed and stretches, taking inventory of what hurts when she does. Realizing she feels pretty good she sits up in bed; her head begins to pound when she does and she falls back down on the bed.

 _God, I am never drinking again….ever….damn them letting me drink this much…I gotta get up, I have got to pee…_

She groans as she throws the covers back to go to the bathroom. As she stands she throws her hand to her forehead in an attempt to stop the pounding. She walks into the bathroom and tries to walk past the mirror but gives herself the side eye and stops when she sees her reflection and stops.

 _Holy crap Marin…you look rough…_

She walks on past saying she will fix herself when she's done. As she sits images of the night begin to zoom through her mind. "Did I throw up?" she whispers under her breath. She shakes her head and stands, walking back to the mirror she grabs a hairbrush and starts to brush through the tangles in her hair and pulls it up into a very messy top knot on her head. She runs her fingers under her eyes, wiping away the remaining eyeliner that lingers there. She sighs and grabs her toothbrush from the holder and begins to brush her teeth. Once she is done she puts it back into the holder and wipes her month.

 _Now…Advil…_

She thinks as she walks out of the bathroom and through the bedroom door into the living room to make her way to the kitchen. She glances over the back of the couch when she sees feet move under the covers draped over them. She looks back as she passes by.

 _Why is Caleb on the couch? He should've come to bed…_

She walks to the kitchen and grabs a glass and from the cabinet and opens the refrigerator and pulls out a carton of orange juice, pours some into the glass and then puts the carton back in. She lifts it to her mouth and takes a drink, her face immediately scrunching up. She turns and spits it out in the sink and pours the remaining liquid in the glass down the drain and sits it glass down in the sink.

 _Toothpaste and Orange Juice don't mix Hanna, duh!_

She thinks as she turns back to the fridge and grabs a bottle of water out. She reaches over and grabs the bottle of aspirin off the counter and pours two pills out into her hand. She downs he pills and takes a drink of her water and swallows them. When she lifts the bottle to her lips the second time she pours some water into her mouth and when she sees him asleep on the couch again, she spits it out all over the counter.

 _Caleb…Caleb…Why is Caleb here…what the…_

She thinks as she sits her water bottle down on the counter and makes her way back into the living room. She leans in real close to his face and looks at him, he groans in his sleep and it makes her jump back. She throws her hand over to mouth to keep her scream inside. She sits down on the table and looks him over.

 _What…happened…last…night… Why is he here? Oh my god…he was at the bar…oh crap. What did I say?_

She thinks back through the night trying to remember what was said.

 _I bumped into him inside the bar…we talked on the street…Alyssa…Jamie…Lemon Drops…they left….Why is he here? God, he's gorgeous. Has he always been this gorgeous? Yeah…he has always been pretty damn gorgeous…even when he sleeps…pain in my ass. I wake up looking like I've been hit by a bus, and he looks like this. He wears his hair different now._

She thinks as she reaches out to run her fingers through his hair. He stirs as she touches the strands and she stops, holding her hand still over his hair. When he settles she pulls her hand back and watches him sleep from her spot on the table.

 _Well, nothing wrong with enjoying the view…_

When Caleb wakes he opens his eyes to see the ceiling he blinks and then closes his eyes back rolling onto his side. When he opens them he sees Hanna sitting Indian style on the coffee table, with a bowl of cereal and it makes him jump straight up.

 _What the-_

He thinks as he looks at her, blinks and then looks around the room and registers that he is back in his old apartment. When he looks back at her she sits the bowl down on the table and uncrosses her legs, letting them dangle off one side of the table.

"Good Morning."

He looks at her confused "Morning."

"What the hell happened here?" she says as she points in between the two of them.

"What? Nothing." he says and then he puts his head in his hands "After I left the bar I went to Jamie's to hang for a little bit and I was walking back to my hotel when you jumped out of a cab and started yelling.." he looks up at her and she has a horrified look on her face "You threw up all over a poor defenseless bush and then passed out so I brought you home...I must've fallen asleep"

"I yelled at you? Why did I yell at you? What did I say? What did you do?" she asks

"I don't know why you started yelling at me…my guess is whiskey…" he says as he shoots her a look.

"I didn't have whiskey!"

"You didn't?"

"No. I had mojitos all night other than the lemon drops Jamie sent us and then I…" she gasps and she gives him an 'I'm so sorry' look "Jack and Diet Coke…"

"Yeah, yelling drunk Hanna only happens on whiskey…just like crying drunk Hanna only happens on wine." He says as a chuckle.

"Caleb, I am so sorry."

"Yeah, I know. You told me that already."

She looks at him with wide eyes.

 _What else did I say to you?_

She stands from the table and grabs the bowl before heading back to the kitchen. She glances back over her shoulder "You want some breakfast? I mean, it is the least I can do since I apparently made a total ass of myself last night."

"Coffee?" he asks

She smiles "Yeah, come on."

He stands from the couch and walks towards the kitchen as she sits the bowl in the sink "Coffee cups are over-" she starts but when she turns around he already has one in his hand "I uh, I forget you used to live here…" she says with an awkward laugh as she looks down to the floor and back to him "Just uh, make yourself at home…again."

"You want a cup?" he turns to ask her, she shakes her head yes and he smiles grabbing another cup from the cabinet before turning towards the Keurig to make their coffee. She walks over and grabs the creamer and sugar out of the cabinet then turns back to him. "Lots of sugar, no creamer, right?"

She stops "Yeah…how do you-"

"I made your coffee for a lot of years Han. " he says and now he laughs softly and hands her the cup once it's made.

She takes it from him "Thanks." She whispers and takes a sip of it as she walks back towards the living room, sitting down in the chair beside the couch, pulls her legs underneath her.

He joins her when he is done with his coffee and sits down on the couch, next to the chair and takes a sip of his coffee. They sit in silence for a long time, she taking drinks and exchanging awkward looks and smiles. Hanna finally breaks the silence when she asks "So, you said you were in town on business…how long are you here for?"

"I uh, I am here for just a few more days. The company I work for in DC sent me to check on some firewalls for some of our clients, just to make sure that we are doing our job at keeping them from being hacked, and then I am headed back."

"To DC? That where you live?"

"I moved there after I came back from Europe. I actually ran into Spencer over in Madrid and that is where she lives."

"Yeah" she swallows "I know, I've talked to her a few times since she's been there…she never mentioned you being there though." She says and she picks up her cup

"Well when we got back in the states, I uh…I didn't really have any ideas where I would go, she mentioned that she knew a company there that could use someone with my skills so I went there."

"Well it's good you had somewhere to go. " she says and it comes out a lot harsher than she intended "That's uh…that didn't come out like I meant it I mean-"

"Yeah, I know." He says and shakes his head "Look, Han I should've called…I know that…it just wasn't a good time."

They sit in silence, both thinking about what he just said. He finally looks at the time and stands "I should go. I have some reports to send in from yesterday." He walks into the kitchen to put his cup in the sink.

She stands awkwardly as she watches him gather his things. She opens her mouth several times to say something but shuts it back each time.

 _Say something. Stop him._

"I would love to hear about your trip." She says, as it is the only thing that comes to her mind to stop him.

 _Really? That is all you have…_

He turns to face her "Hanna…" he starts but stops.

"I'm sorry; I just figured….we can be friends, right? I mean I am just a friend…asking another friend about his trip…"

He stares at her as she stands with her hands on her hips, no doubt feeling as weird to be in this situation as he is.

"Let's catch up...over dinner…I mean, you did spend your night taking care of me so it is the least I can do. Friends can have dinner, right?"

"You said that about breakfast."

She rolls her eyes "Coffee is hardly breakfast."

He laughs and thinks for a second before he shakes his head "Okay. I will be back around 7?"

"Yeah, that works for me."

He walks towards the door and she follows behind him. When they reach it, he turns and they share a very stiff hug as he walks out the door. She shuts it behind him and puts her back to it. She cannot help the smile creeps over her face.

 _Did I just ask Caleb over for dinner…? I run into him for the first time after 3 years, make a total ass of myself and now I ask him for dinner…what is wrong with me?_

Caleb walks down the hall and as he reaches the stairs he turns back to look down the hallway to the door he just walked out of. He turns back to look down the stairs and back at the door.

 _Did I just agree to dinner? How am I gonna have dinner…she's engaged remember, this will do you no good…Maybe I should cancel…but I don't want to…but I should. Screw it, I am having dinner with Hanna Marin._


	5. Chapter 5

As the afternoon wears on, Caleb thinks more and more about his promise of dinner. By the time the lock reads 5:00 he is pacing the floors of his hotel room. He is fully dressed and ready to go, but he is hesitating.

 _Should I go? I mean she is engaged. That means strictly unavailable. I am not that guy…at least on purpose. I mean, I guess I kinda did that with Travis but I didn't try to. She did say friends and some exes can be friends right? I mean it's Hanna…it will be hard, but I can do that…if it means having her back in my life…I would rather something than nothing at all. Can I handle just being friends?_

He stops and pulls his phone out of his pocket, checking the time. It reads 5:15

 _Well, what's it gonna be…_

Hanna stands in front of the floor length mirror in her bedroom and examines her outfit. She has picked out a black leather crop top and a black and yellow print skirt that falls to her mid-calf. The skirt comes up high and only a tiny peek at her stomach is showing. She pairs it with black booties.

 _You look….this outfit screams….trying too hard. Come on Hanna…this is what you do, like for a living…why is it so hard? It's Caleb he's not going to care what you wear._

He huffs and turns back to the large pile of clothes that sprawls all over her bedroom. She is currently on outfit number four. She begins to dig back through the clothes.

 _Maybe I should cancel…I mean I obviously don't have anything to wear. Last time it took me four wardrobe changes was Fashion Week last spring…oh, I like this shirt._

She holds up a light purple flowy lace top that has cap sleeves and looks at herself in the mirror. She gives herself an approving look and takes off her crop top and replaces with the purple top and turns back to her pile of clothes for some jeans. She settles on a pair of ripped and worn looking skinny jeans in an army green color. She finds her brown booties in the closet, and slips them on. Turning back to the mess she has made getting ready, she notices the time, 5:30.

 _Crap. Don't have time to clean this mess. Clothes please forgive me._

She thinks as she grabs the pile in her arms and tosses them into the dirty clothes hamper and shuts the lid. She heads into the bathroom to finish up her makeup. She is contoured and glossed up in 15 minutes, her hair hangs down in messy curls and her makeup is light and simple. She looks at herself in the bedroom mirror again, this time examining the whole package.

 _Damn. Not bad._

She walks into the living room and she begins to pace near the door, impatiently waiting for the knock on the door. The next time she looks at the clock, it read 6:10 and her heart sinks as she walks over to the couch and sits down on the end.

 _Did he stand me up? It's unlike Caleb to be late..._

Five minutes later the knock at the door scares her out of her daze and makes her jump. Hopping up from her spot on the couch she heads for the door, stopping briefly to check her reflection one last time. She swings the door open and smiles to see him standing on the other side.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. Traffic out there is terrible." he says as he returns her smile

"No problem. Come on in." she says as she moves out of the doorway to let him through. As he walks past her, she shuts the door and follows behind him "Traffic is terrible here this time of year…tourists and all."

"Yeah, it was always a pain in the ass, but I didn't remember it being this bad." he says as he turns back to her and holds out a bottle of peach Moscato "For you, a thanks for dinner."

"Caleb, you didn't have to do that. This was my thank you for dealing with crazy drunk Hanna last night. Thank you though, it is very thoughtful and my favorite!"

"Yeah, I know. I looked for that brand that you like but I couldn't find it. I knew you'd had this one before and said you liked it so I thought..." he trails off as she offers her a shrug.

"I do like this one. Thank you." She says as she walks towards the kitchen and opens the refrigerator and sits the bottle inside. "I guess great minds must think alike." she says as she pulls out a case of beer that she knew he liked. "When I went to get the stuff for dinner I picked these up for you."

"Oh my god. I haven't had one of these in years. You can't find these in D.C." he says as he walks towards her and looks at the bottles in her hand. "Can I?" he asks as he nods his head to the bottles.

"Have at it" she says as she pulls a bottle out of the cardboard carrying box and hands it over to him and puts the rest back in the refrigerator and closes it back. He sits down at the counter and Hanna stands on the other side "Don't get too drunk though…you gotta help me cook dinner." She says with a smile as she hops up on the counter across from him.

He stops before he pops the top off of the bottle and looks at her "Help you cook?"

"I figured we took those cooking classes that year…and we liked it, so I just thought we could cook….together." They exchange looks before Hanna backtracks "If you want to. If not, I can do it and you can keep me company."

"Cooking is good. It has been a long time since I cooked…it's much easier to get take out for one person than it is to cook." they sit in silence before Caleb clears his throat "What are we cooking?" he says as he finally pops the top on the bottle and takes a drink.

Hanna smiles and hops down off the counter and opens up the refrigerator "Do you remember that seafood Scampi recipe that we tried that one time back at mom's that we really loved?" she says as she begins to pull all the ingredients out and put them on the counter.

"Yeah and we moved here and was going to make it again and we double salted it" He says with a laugh and another drink of his beer

"It was so awful and salty that we couldn't even eat it so we ended up ordering Italian take-out and ate on the roof of this building!"

They both laugh and look at each other.

"And we got locked up there and had to take the fire escapes all the way down to ours and it just so happened that we had left the window unlocked. That was a good night…" he says as he takes another drink.

"The next day I turned our fire escape into a patio so it wouldn't happen again."

"I remember that. You went and bought Christmas lights to put out there to make it 'pretty'"

"Yeah…I can't believe you remember all that" she whispers as they stare at each other. When she finally realizes what's happening she turns her attention back to the things on the counter "So, that is what we are having." She says as she pulls more things out of the fridge.

He sits is bottle down on the counter and walks into the kitchen, he starts washing his hands at the sink after she finishing getting everything situated on the counter she joins him at the sink to wash hers. After they are done they start preparing the food. They move around the kitchen with ease, mostly from years of practice. As they do, they get into a more comfortable, familiar rhythm as they start to make small talk.

Caleb stands at the cutting board chopping up fresh garlic as Hanna puts the linguine in to boil. She turns back to him "So, tell me about the trip."

Caleb stops mid chop and turns to face her as she stands at the stove "What do you mean? What do you want to know?"

"Everything. I know it doesn't seem like it…but I was really excited about that trip."

He watches her closely before he sits the knife down on the cutting board and turns back to her "It was…uh…it was beautiful. I got to see some pretty amazing places, things that I never thought I would see." he chuckles and looks down at the floor and back up to her "You would've loved it, sunsets over there are unreal, and the buildings and landmarks are beautiful. Oh, I saw a bull fight…Spence did not like that. I uh, ran into her in Madrid and we kinda traveled together for the last part of the trip."

Hanna swallows, trying hard to not to tear up at his words and the sincere look in his eyes "Why –uh, Why was Spence over there? She just doing some traveling before school started back?" she says as she turns back to the stove, desperate to break eye contact.

"No, she was over there…pretty much doing the same thing I was…clearing her mind." He turns back to the cutting board and begins chopping garlic "Her and Toby had just broke up so she spent the summer trying to wrap her head around it all…or so she said."

They continue on in silence as they finish up their dish. "So, do you talk to them often? People back home?" she finally asks later as she is putting bread into the oven.

Caleb stands on the other side of the counter now, nursing his beer "I try to keep in touch. Toby is still back in Rosewood, still on the force. He has a new girlfriend and he seems pretty happy. I mean, he was so messed up for a long time after Spencer, but Yvonne is nice. He's uh, he's building a house…by hand."

"What?!" she asks shocked as she begins to pour herself a glass of wine. "A house? By hand?"

"Yeah. Pretty crazy right?"

"You know, I always figured those two were lifers. I mean, they were totally in love…something major must've happened between the two of them for it to end. I always thought that they would get married…like us." as soon as she says the words she immediately turns back to Caleb with wide eyes "Oh my god, I am so sorry…I didn't mean to say that."

He smiles and looks down at the bottle in his hand "No, it's fine. I mean I always thought that too but uh…things happen you know?" he says as he looks at her "So, what have you been up to for the last 3 years?"

Hanna takes a long drink of her wine and sits the glass down on the counter "I uh, I got fired the night we were supposed to leave for Europe. So I got hired on with another designer, really threw myself into work and wasn't long until I got a promotion, got back in school and I am currently working on another promotion."

"So you're no longer a roadie for a bunch of dresses?"

She laughs "No, no longer a roadie. Now I am a design assistant." She says matter of factly before she laughs "It sounds all fancy, but really I just have to make sure my designer has everything she needs."

"And you're…engaged…to one of New York's?"

She stops and looks down at her glass as she runs her finger over the rim; her empty ring finger catches her eye. She had taken it off when she was cooking and in this moment, she was glad she did. "Yeah, I am engaged. Jordan. He uh, he works with one of New York's top designing firms."

Caleb makes an impressed face "Well, got you a boy in the biz huh? I bet that makes things easier."

She takes another drink of her wine, never making eye contact with him "Yeah, uh…it does."

"I'm guessing he's pretty loaded too?"

She laughs "Yeah…he's pretty well off…but that isn't the reason."

"Han, you took a chance with the boy that lived in Rosewood High School's Fiction section for weeks…you really think that I would be convinced it was about money?"

She looks up at him, searching his eyes she opens her mouth to say something just as the buzzer on the oven goes off.

 _Oh thank god!_

She thinks as she turns to grab the pot holders and turns back to the oven. She pulls the baking sheet out and sits in on top of the stove top next to their pan full of food. "Dinner is ready!" she says excited as she flashes him a smile. "Plates are…well, you know where the plates are."

He walks into the kitchen and opens up a top cabinet and pulls out two plates and then opens the drawer underneath the counter top and grabs the silverware. Walking back to the oven he hands her a plate and her silverware and she says thank you as she takes it from him. Once she makes her plate she moves out of the way for him to make his. She grabs the beer out of the fridge and her bottle of wine, pouring herself another glass as she does.

Caleb rounds the counter into the living room, heading for the dining room table and she holds up a finger "Wait. I have a surprise, but do me a favor first…my laptop is right there, open it up and get us some music going. We are going to need it." She says with a clap of her hands and then she has disappeared.

He opens up her laptop and the screen lights up immediately. He opens up her iTunes and before he can start the music he sees a couple playlists. One is labeled 'My Playlist' the second one is labeled 'Gym' and the last one catches his eye labeled 'C.R.'. Intrigued he clicks on it and opens it up; as he begins to scroll through them he notices a pattern…every single song on the 200 song list is a sad one.

 _Holy crap. It's her breakup playlist._

As he scrolls through the lists she recognizes several Adele songs, but his eyes fall on 'Rolling In The Deep'. Just then she walks back into the room.

"Now, I know you don't like my taste in music but come on…I don't hear anything." she says as he turns around to face her "What's wrong?" she asks as she sees his face.

He turns back to the computer and then back to her "I am flattered that you named a playlist after me…but these songs…"

"Hey, those were all for a specific time in our split…you know how I am."

"Yeah, I know…but 'Rolling In The Deep'? That is like set my shit on fire kinda music."

She laughs and runs her thumbs through her back belt loops "You know, had you left anything here…I might have set it on fire at some point…there are documented fits of rage involved in a breakup you know." She closes in the distance between them "You know I would never do that…"

"I would hope not." He says as she looks at her and they offer up their fakest smiles. He turns back to laptop and settles for her general playlist and turns back to her "Okay, so why do we need music, again?"

Hanna smiles again and walks over to the curtains that hang on the far side of the room and opens them. He laughs as he sees that the fire escape that she still uses as a patio. There are two small bean bag chairs and a small table that sit and overlook the side street. He laughs and shakes his head at her but she holds up one finger and reaches down to plug up a cord that comes in through the windows. She plugs it into the wall socket and lights wrapped around the railing spring to life, making him laugh again.

"This is why we need music…the street are always so noisy. Get your plate. We're gonna have dinner on the patio." She says as she sways from side to side with excitement. He laughs again and grabs his plate off of the counter and heads towards the window. She walks over to grab hers and their drinks off the counter and heads to join him. As she reaches the window out and he takes the plate and drinks from her, sitting them on the table and turns back to offer her a hand getting out of the window. She hesitates before taking his outstretched hand and climbs out as gracefully as she can.

As they eat that talk, catching up on their lives over the last three years and their friends back home in Rosewood. Hanna asks about Jamie and his mom, they briefing brush over the topic of A texts and Charlotte.

"So how is Ezra? I had lunch with Aria a couple months back and she said that he wasn't doing too well since Nicole."

"He has really taken it hard. He sorta went off the deep end, but I think since he has been writing the book, it has helped him a lot. Or it could be Aria that has helped him…either way he's doing a lot better. How is she?"

"She's good. You know she works for that publishing company in Boston, which is like a dream come true for her. She's dating a guy she works with, Liam. I don't know how that is going to go but she seems happy." She takes a drink of her wine "Poor Ezra. I mean to be with someone for that long and just wake up one day and they aren't there anymore…and you don't know where they are. It's gotta be tough on a person. I mean, I know it nearly killed me when you left, but I at least knew that you were alive."

He stops and watches her before asking; knowing that it would change the course of the night "Did it?"

"Did what?" she asks slightly confused.

"Did it nearly kill you when I left?"

She stills and takes another sip of her glass before answering "Yeah, it did." She says as she looks through the grating down to the next fire escape under them "I uh, I cried for a long time. The playlist you saw in there…that was the soundtrack to my life for months."

"I'm sorry Han. I really am."

"Don't be. You told me before I walked out that you wouldn't be here when I got back…and I still left…so it's my own fault." She says still refusing to make eye contact.

"Yeah well, we had a lot of years together and I just up and left…you didn't deserve it, but at the time it felt like the right thing to do…break all ties. I thought it was the best way to keep from dragging you back into our chaos." He says, now no longer looking at her, keeping his focus on the bottle label he picks at.

"You ever think about what it would be like if that night would've never happened? Like if I would've stayed and went with you or if you would've come back after."

He takes another long drink of his beer and waits before he answers "All the time."

Hanna drinks again and this time lets out a ragged breathe before blurting out the words on her tongue "I came back…" he turns to her and she looks down at her glass "I uh, I sat in that cab a couple blocks from here, traffic was awful so we weren't going anywhere. I kept calling and calling to talk to you and it kept going to voicemail. I ended up getting out and running back in the rain…but you were already gone. I don't know what came over me, I guess I just thought that we could work through it like we had before." she kind of shrugs before finally looking up to him "I just wish that I would've known that when I walked out would've been the last time I saw you…before now at least. I would've made a lot of different decisions that day…staying being one of them." she says as she picks up the wine bottle that sits in front of her and pours another glass.

"Are you happy…now? With Jordan?" he says watching her as she quickly downs the wine in her glass and pours another and takes a drink before she finally looks at him.

"It's just….it's different. I mean, Jordan is a great guy and he takes care of me…but he would never do things like this" she says as she waves her hands around to the fire escape patio they sit on "I've missed this and he just doesn't do things like this…like you do. Did you know that there is a law against having a patio sat up on your fire escape?"

Caleb laughs "Yeah…I did know that actually…I just didn't say anything because it made you so happy to be out here."

"Well he came in one day and saw it…he like totally flipped out. It was a big deal. He's just…he's not you." She says with a shrug and looks over at him while he watches her.

"That didn't answer my question…all of that aside…are you happy?"

She sighs "I mean are you asking if I am marrying him out of convenience, no. I like the guy, and he makes me happy…it's just not the same as it was…with you."

"You know, I haven't let myself date anyone new…I just didn't think that I could ever find someone that would make me feel the same way Hanna Marin did; and here you are engaged to someone else, knowing that it won't ever be the same as what we had. I guess I was going about this all wrong."

"Caleb, don't be like that."

"I didn't mean anything bad by it Han, but I mean…what we had…it was real and deep and it was good. We loved each other so much and I don't think I will ever be able to love another the way I loved you, so I haven't tried at all. I know you feel the same way about us and what we had…yet somehow you've managed to be okay with the fact that it will never be the same." he says as he stands and holds onto the railing, looking out over the street.

Hanna lets tears quietly roll down her cheeks as she wipes them with her hands "I was okay with it…because what we had I will never have with someone else and I wouldn't want it with anyone else…just you." She says as she stands up and next to him "I waited for you to come back for so long, I had just accepted the fact that even though I missed you, I had to let you go. Trust me, it isn't easy and I have thought about you every day for the last 3 years, two months and 18 days…just waiting for a day like today to happen."

"You know, maybe this was a bad idea coming here…because you have no idea how damn hard it is going to be to walk out that door now?" he says as he turns to face her.

"You know how damn hard it is going to be to let you walk back out that door?" she says as the tears roll down her cheeks freely "Caleb, I love you…I will always love you…that is just how it's going to be for the rest of my life, you will always hold the biggest piece of my heart."

He swallows hard and reaches out and kisses her forehead "And I love you so much…which is why I should really go, before this gets too complicated." He reaches down and picks up his bottles and his plate and climbs back through the window into the living room.

Hanna gasps for air, fighting for it as it leaves her lungs. She turns and climbs back through the window and watches him as he drops his plate in the sink and throws his bottles away in the can before he turns back to look at her. She stands by the window, her chest giving her breathing away and tears are in her eyes and running down her cheeks.

She takes a few steps towards him and stops "Please don't leave…not now…not like this." She takes a few more until she as she closes in the distant between them.

"Hanna, you're engaged." he whispers as he throws his hands up and watches she keeps walking towards him.

"I know." she whispers back to him as she takes the last step until she stands right in front of him.

"And you said yourself, it is really unfair that I come back into your life after all this time and mess everything up. I don't want to do that for you."

"You're not." she whispers again and she leans into him.

He reaches out and touches her face, wiping the tears on her cheeks away with his thumb "Han, please, I just need to go…this…I can't keep doing this to you."

"Why do you want to leave?" she cries

"Because, it is the right thing to do….I mean, you're engaged and I don't want to be that guy. Trust me, the right thing is not the easiest thing because you have no idea how bad I want to kiss you right now."

"Caleb..." she whispers, knowing that she is losing him again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Happy Birthday to the reader that left the review for an update! I hope it doesn't disappoint!**

* * *

"Caleb..." she whispers, knowing that she is losing him again.

She takes another step towards him, and stands so close that he can feel the heat of her breath on his chest.

 _Just kiss her._

A loud ring of a phone jolts him from his thoughts and makes her jump as she watches him but neither of them move. It rings again before Caleb pulls his eyes off of her and looks for the direction of the ringing "Are you aware that you have a land line?" he asks sarcastically.

"Yeah." is all she can whisper, never taking a step to grab it.

It rings again and he huffs "Are you aware that it's ringing?" he asks this time with a laugh.

"Yeah"

Finally the answering machine picks up "Hey, it's Hanna. Leave a message…or call my cell, whatever." And it is followed by a long, loud beep.

The voice coming through the speakers stops them both "Hey Hanna I…I came home early to surprise you but I've called your cell a couple times and didn't get an answer so if you're home, just call me. I haven't heard from you since last night and I'm starting to get worried. I love you."

It beeps once again when the message is over and it makes her flinch.

 _Crap._

She sneaks a look up at him and he looks at over his feet. She quietly turns around and picks her phone up off the table and slides it open to see 2 missed calls and 4 texts all from Jordan.

 _Stupid phone on stupid silent…_

She thinks as she quickly types out a text and hits send. When she looks up, he watches her closely.

"What did you tell him?" he asks quietly

"The truth…I am having dinner, didn't hear my phone and I will text him later." She informs him as she turns and throws her phone on the chair behind her.

He stills, closes his eyes and lets out a deep breath "See. Hanna you have no idea how hard it is to do the right thing here...and I don't want to leave, I just need to...that just shows that I need to."

"Please don't." she says as she starts to reach out and grab his hand, but hesitates.

"Listen, tonight was great...it was just like old times...and I have missed it...missed us. Until yesterday, I didn't realize how much and I didn't come here for this to happen...it's just...I've missed you so much and being back here..." he swallows and slows his breathing "Part of me...a very large part of me wants to tell you right now to forget about the last 3 years, 2 months and 18 days of life and pick me...be with me. But a smaller part, which I think I have to let win knows how unfair it is to make you pick."

"I know this got so deep, real quick...it's just that...it's you and me...we both know that it sort of feels like we are unfinished business." she says as she swallows and he shakes his head in agreement "But you're right, it would be unfair to make me pick...and I know that this is a decision that I have to make on my own, but I also know that I can't handle you leaving again...losing you." she fights a sob as she plays nervously with the bottom hem of her shirt

 _Just kiss her...now._

"I don't know if I can handle leaving again...it's just..." he trails off as he looks towards the answering machine.

"Jordan. I know..." she says as she wipes the tears off her cheeks

"And he may be your happily ever after...I don't think so, and I don't think that you think so either but you might. You may wake up in the morning after I am gone and realize all of this was just the wine and the memories talking, I don't know. But if I let myself cross over this line...it could ruin everything for you...and it could ruin me. You deserve your happy ending Han, so I won't let myself. I won't do that, just to benefit myself...and I am not gonna leave just for his sake. Screw him. I am trying to do this for you...but you're making it so hard for me to be the bigger man."

She steps back and looks at him "You're fighting this really hard for someone who says he wants it."

He throws his hand into his hair "God, do you have any idea how hard this is for me? To leave this apartment again...to think that there is a possibility of losing you again? Trust me, I am not fighting this...fighting us, for my own benefit. I am just trying to do what I think is right and I'm pissed at myself because all of this could've been avoided." he takes another breath and lowers his voice "I should've came back right after I got back, or I should've never went...either way I am kicking myself in the ass because all I want to do is be with you, and at the moment...you're engaged to someone else. You said yes to someone else's proposal and it should've been me."

He turns his back to her and puts his hands firmly on the counter as she takes a step back, shocked by his words. They stand in silence, and she watches his back for a minute, knowing that if she does what she's thinking, she will be more vulnerable than she's already felt for the last few days. Knowing that it has to be done, she turns and walks out of the living room, heading for the bedroom.

"Hanna, where are you going?" he asks as he looks over his shoulder at her as she walks out of the room.

She turns back to him "I have something you need to see." she says as she turns back to her task at hand. When she reaches her bedroom, she walks over to the desk that sits in the corner of the room. Sitting down in the chair, she opens the drawer and fishes out a flash drive. She stares at it for a few seconds as she holds it in her hand.

 _Here goes nothing._

She thinks as she stands from the chair and walks back out of the bedroom to him. He still stands at the counter, this time he's propped his back on the counter, his arms and legs crossed as he stares at the floor. When she approaches him, he stands up and looks at her. She looks back down to her hand before holding it out, handing it to him.

"There it is...every awful detail of my life since you've been gone. I'm not good at keeping track of a diary, computers work better." she says as she holds her hand with the drive out "Take it" she says again, shaking her outstretched hand at him.

He takes it from her hand and sighs "I am almost 100% positive that I don't want to see whatever is on this."

She sort of laughs "There is a lot of stuff on it. Songs, pictures, quotes, videos...there are even a couple of typed entries...cheesy girl stuff that you can mostly not look into, you just need to see it."

"Why?"

"Because, I uh" she whispers "I started doing that after you left...how NAT club of me, right? Anyway, one of the girls at work told me that if I got it down that I would feel better. So I did an entry almost every day for I can't tell you how long. As time went on I did them less and less. By the time I met Jordan I was still pretty hurt, but I was functional. I did it like twice a month, maybe when I would see something or hear something that reminded me of you. Not that I had forgotten or anything...but I guess I had pretty much gotten used to the idea of it all. When I met him, I kept doing them and I never knew why. I pulled it out a couple weeks ago and re-watched some of them. After I watched, I started to see a pattern in them."

She stops and he doesn't say anything. She finally clears her throat and wraps her arms around herself "Day 658...they are labeled...658 is the day after he proposed. I uh, I do care about him Caleb, as much as I hate telling you that - I don't want to lie to you either and tell you I don't...but you've never been too far from my mind. I know that I have a lot to think about, but there are some things you need to see on that too."

He stares down at the drive in his hand, thinking about handing it back to her. Telling her that he doesn't need to see anything on it, but instead he puts it in his pocket. "I uh, I should go." He says as he reaches around to his back pocket he pulls out his wallet and slides a card out and hands it over to her. She takes it from it, flipping it over to recognize that it is a hotel room key card.

"What's this?" she asking, already knowing the answer.

"This is where you can find me. Room 417."

As he walks to the door, she follows behind him, thinking of something she can stay to make him stay, but drawing a blank.

 _He's right ya know…you do have to make a decision. Without him here, without Jordan…just you by yourself._

When they reach the door they stand in silence and exchange looks with each other. He reaches out first to give her a hug but stops and puts his arms down by his side again. She reaches up and then puts her hands back down. Finally they move at the same time; she stands on her tip toes and wraps her arms under his pulling him close and pressing her cheek into his chest. She screws her eyes shut as she feels him tense and quit breathing as he wraps his arms around her. They stand like this for several long minutes before she pulls back and looks back up at him and he stares down at her.

"I, uh I gotta go." he whispers as he grabs the handle and quickly opens the door. He turns and walks out the door.

She breathes in quickly then speaks "Caleb, I-"

He stops in the doorway and turns around to face her she blinks up at him then his lips are on hers, his hands cupping her face as she wraps her arms around his shoulders her hands into his hair. When they pull back, he rests his forehead on hers and they are breathless. He turns and walks back out of the door and down the hallway to the stairs. She leans her back against the doorway and watches him until he is out of sight.

* * *

Hanna lays in bed, tossing and turning with images of the night flashing through her memory. She instinctively touches her lips that she is almost completely positive are still numb from their kiss. She glances over at the clock that reads 4:15 AM. She groans and she rolls back over onto her side, grabbing the pillow from the other side of the bed and cuddling it to her chest. Rolling in The Deep softly plays through the speakers for the fourth time since she put her 'C.R' playlist on repeat when she climbed into bed. This time, she is unsure if it is the lack of sleep, or quite possibly insanity, but she laughs. She laughs so hard that she eventually begins in sob into the pillow.

 _What the hell is happening to be? It is like it is 2013 all over again…_

She closes her eyes and tries to sleep, only to huff and roll over 20 minutes later and look back at the clock.

 _4:35 A.M….Hanna Marin….in the morning…you haven't slept since 8 A.M. That's like…20 hours._

The song changes from Boyz II Men and Adele's voice fills the room. She lays there and looks at the ceiling watching the blades on the fan spin around and around.

 _God, I really love this song…_

She thinks as she softly begins to sing along. "No river is too wide or too deep for me to swim to you. Come whatever, I'll be the shelter that won't let the rain come through. Your love, it is my truth and I will always love you. Love you" and the tears spring to her eyes as she sits up in bed.

Knowing what she needs to do she jumps up from the bed and gets dressed, grabbing her phone and unplugging it and throwing it into her hoodie pocket. She smiles as she grabs the hotel key off the desk and heads for the door. She walks out onto the street and hales a cab, hopping in she gives him the address and he pulls out into the traffic. Before she knows it, they have pulled up in front of the building and she takes a deep breath.

 _Maybe I should've waited until there was more traffic…given myself more time to think about what I will say.._

She pays her fare and turns to open the cab door when the ring on her finger catches her eye. She stops and looks at it, before she pulls on the handle and steps out onto the sidewalk. She closes the door to the cab and turns and stares up at the building. She lets out a deep breath and shakes her head up and down as she heads for the front doors.

She grabs the elevator when one becomes available and when she steps inside she hits the button for the fourth floor. The doors shut and she drums her hands on the handle of the elevator. The sound of the metal of the handle hitting her ring catches her attention and she brings her hand out in front of her face. She examines the ring on her finger, wiggling them so that the light shines off of the diamond. Suddenly the elevator dings and the doors slide open. She walks out of the elevator and turns to her left, heading for his door.

When she arrives, she stops and hesitates before she starts to knock…no answer. She knocks harder and harder until she can hear sounds coming from the other side "I'm coming!".

Her hands begin to shake and she slings them by her side, willing them to stop. Finally he swings the door open "Hanna?"

"I need you to do me a favor" she says as she walks past him into the room.

He shuts the door and turns to her with a confused look "Are you okay? Are you sick? You look like you're sick" he says as he looks her up and down.

"Jordan, listen! I need you to do me a favor and just answer a question for me…okay?"

He rubs his eyes "What is it Hanna?"

She lets out a breath again "How do I like my coffee?"

"What…what…what are you talking about?"

"Just answer the question Jordan! How do I like my coffee?"

He shakes his head and rubs his eyes again "2 sugars and hazelnut creamer. Why?"

 _Wrong._

"Wrong." she says as she paces the floor "What about my favorite wine?"

"Pinot, Hanna…what is with the inquisition at…" he opens his eyes wide to look at the watch on his wrist "5:15 A.M.?" and he huffs.

 _There it is…what you've been looking for._

She stops, her back to him and throws her head back to look at the ceiling before turning around. She throws her hands out by her sides "I can't marry you Jordan.."

"What are you talking about Hanna?"

She giggles a little bit and covers her mouth quickly "I uh, I can't marry you."

"Because I don't know the way you take your coffee? Hanna, look it is normal for most people to get cold feet before they get married…"

Tears well up in her eyes, she blinks and they fall from her cheeks "It's not cold feet…it's Caleb."


	7. Chapter 7

**Phew! Here it is guys! All re-typed and ready to go! I hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know what you think! :)**

* * *

She breathes in quickly then speaks "Caleb, I-"

He stops in the doorway and turns around to face her she blinks up at him.

 _Just kiss her dammit._

He thinks, then before he can stop himself, his lips are on hers, his hands cupping her face as she wraps her arms around his shoulders her hands into his hair. When they pull back, he rests his forehead on hers and they are breathless. He turns and he walks slowly down the hallway to the stairs

 _Did that just...did I just? So much for not crossing that line..._

He thinks as he reaches the top stair, he stops and turns around and looks at her; she stands still in the doorway with a smile plastered on her face in a daze as her fingers trail over her bottom lip. He smiles to himself and turns back and walks down the stairs, debating with himself if he should go back to her apartment or go on to his hotel. When he reaches the front door, he pushes it open and when the cool air hits his face he lets out a deep breath.

 _GO. BACK. UPSTAIRS. NOW. No, you need to just go to your hotel room and let her think it out..._

He collects his thoughts and heads for the street to hail a cab. When one pulls up to the sidewalk, he opens the door and when he gets in a familiar voice greets him. "My man" makes him look into the mirror to see the cab driver from the night before. "I see I am picking you up here today so I am guessing everything went pretty good last night?"

Caleb smiles at him "I, uh actually came back over this afternoon for dinner and to talk..."

"And?"

"And it went a lot better than I expected actually, weird how that happens." he says with a smile as he rattles off the address of his hotel. The cab pulls away from the curb and he takes one last look towards the building and smiles.

 _Think about it Hanna...just pick me...choose me..._

He turns back to face the front of the cab and as they drive, they begin to talk. Caleb tells him about how when he first came to Rosewood, how he met Hanna and how she pretty much saved his life at such a young age. He holds nothing back as he tells him how he hurt her and packed all his things heading to Arizona to find his mom and how he came back, only to find that second chances are not handed out by Hanna Marin too easily. He tells him how he eventually was able to regain her trust and they were together until he left again for Ravenswood, skipping over all the details of that experience. He tells him how he came back to Rosewood only to find that Hanna had finally moved on with Travis and how she willingly came back that time. Finally he tells him about moving to New York, and the fights that led up to the big one about the trip and how he left and never came back.

After a long silence the driver finally speaks "No offense, but sounds to me like you've got a real problem with leavin"

 _Do I? Well Rosewood for Arizona. Rosewood for Ravenswood. New York for Europe then to D.C._

Caleb laughs and shakes his head in agreement "Yeah, I guess so..."

 _I won't leave again if I can get her back, I can promise you that._

Caleb learns that the driver's name is Carl and he has been married to his wife Helen for 37 years and their story, was a lot like his own.

"She is the absolute love of my life. We met in the summer before my junior year. I was smitten with her from the first time I saw her...kind of like you say you were. It took some convincing but she finally gave in and we were together for over a year before she left town. Her dad was in the military and got stationed somewhere else. We tried to make it work, but we just couldn't. I moved on and I was actually engaged to someone else - Patty - the next time I saw her. It was here on the streets on New York when I saw her again, buddy...I knew that it would never be the same. I ended my engagement, and Patty understood...she was with me when I ran into Helen again and she said that she could just see it in my eyes when I looked at her. I went back to Helen and a few years later we were engaged. The rest is history. And let me tell you, I have endured my share of arguments with her, and I can always tell which ones are fueled by anger and which ones are fueled by love...and what happened last night, that was love. You can tell in your eyes, and your voices. Pardon me for saying so, but I can see a lot of my Helen in..." he glances back at Caleb in the mirror.

"Hanna" he answers his question with a smile.

"I can see a lot of my Helen in Hanna...and I can see a lot of myself in you...and I know that may sound weird, because I barely know you and it may just be because our stories are so similar...but I think I already know the ending to this story. Don't give up, she loves you." he chuckles "I mean she loves you enough to jump out of a cab in the wee hours of the morning and scream her feelings on the sidewalks of a busy city like this...she loves you. Just do yourself a favor and make sure you don't leave this city without her."

 _What about Jordan? She said herself that she cares about him...?_

He thinks as his smile fades, but his thoughts are interrupted. "I see that look back there; don't worry about that fiancé my friend. You don't have to. You want to know why?"

"Why?" Caleb asks as he wonders how this man he has barely met can pretty much read his mind.

"Because she may care about him, but there is a different in who you care for and settle with, and who you love and are meant for. You two, it's absolutely undeniable that you two are meant for each other...and If I - a pretty much total stranger can see it...anyone can." he says with a smile as he pulls the cab out of the street and beside the curb in front of the hotel "We are here my friend." he says.

Caleb reaches for his wallet in his back pocket to pay his fare when Carl stops him "Your money is no good here. Just don't leave without your girl." he says as she shakes his head in the mirror and glances back at Caleb.

"Thanks." he says as they shake hands.

"Just do me a favor, and send me an invitation to the wedding." they share a laugh as Caleb gets out of the cab, shutting the door behind him and walks into the hotel lobby.

Walking over to the elevators he hits the button and when it arrives he hops in and hits the button for his floor. As the doors shut he lays his head back against the cool metal wall of the elevator and lets his mind wonder. When it comes to a stop on his floor he walks out and to his room. He slides the key card down into the door and opens it; walking in he walks to the bed and throws himself down on it on his back.

 _God, I feel like I have been hit by a freaking truck. Is her mind as jumbled as mine is? Man, that kiss...it felt like it was the first time all over again..._

Deciding that a hot shower will clear his head, he stands and begins to unload his pockets onto the counter throwing first his wallet, and then some change down. He pulls out his cellphone and walks over to the plug and puts it on charge. He pats his pockets down again to double check, this time feeling the flash drive in his front pocket. He pulls it out and flips it over and over again in his fingers, eyeing it closely.

 _Do I really want to see her diaries? What is in here that she could possibly want me to see? I mean, does she really want me to see inside her head like that?_

He thinks as he walks over to the small desk built into the wall and plugs the drive into his laptop. He hits the mouse pad and makes the screen light up. He finds the drive and opens it up; it shows over 800 items saved on the drive. He shakes his head and goes to the folder labeled 'Diary' and opens it up. He clicks on the first one labeled 'Day 7' and brings it up in his video player. It opens to the first frame and he immediately hangs his head.

 _Yeah, I am not going to be able to do this..._

He thinks as he looks back to the screen. The first image of the video is frozen onto a picture of a puffy faced, red eyed Hanna. She is wrapped in a large oversized hoodie with her hair pulled up onto top of her head in a messy bun. She sits in the bedroom of her apartment at the desk with her one leg pulled up into the seat and her knee to her chest. His finger lingers over the play button for a long time before he finally takes a deep breath and hits play.

"So I uh...a girl I work with said that if I got my feelings down on paper I would feel better but I'm not really good with keeping a diary so we will try it this way. Today is day 7 A.C. -After Caleb- that is what we are calling it...anyway. Today is day 7 and I feel just as shitty as I did on day 1 A.C." she stops and wipes her face with her sleeved hands

"Where do I start? My life has been chaos so much for such a long period of time that I kinda let myself go into autopilot sometimes when it comes to emotions. I want so badly for this to be one of those times because I uh...this is really hard." she says as tears fill her eyes and she wipes them away with the sleeve of the hoodie she is wearing. She looks down at the sleeve and laughs through her tears and looks back up at the camera "I've been wearing this hoodie for like 5 days now...it's the only thing that he left here." She says as she giggles again and picks at the hem of the sleeve "and the reason that is funny is because I found it in the trunk of my car the other night...and Caleb HATED when I would leave clothes in my car...but he wore this out to dinner one night and got too hot so he took it off and laid it in the backseat. Well sometime in the shuffle of life, it got moved to the trunk and had it not been moved...I wouldn't have anything left of him." She tears up again but stops herself from crying.

"I've been thinking about it and I guess I should've seen it coming. I know he wasn't happy here and I don't know if he just wasn't happy here or with me or what but I thought the trip would fix it. I thought the time away would be good for us so we could regroup and get back to just us, ya know" she stops and shallows deep as the tears threaten again "I should've stayed. I should've just said screw my job and stayed...I just figured we could work it out. We somehow always found a way to work it out. I guess I kinda took that for granted. I wanted to go on that trip so badly, I really did...but the job that I have...had…the job I had always seemed to be in the way. I just wonder what I was doing when it all went wrong. I wonder if I was even paying attention and could've done anything to change it. I uh, I don't know...I do know however that the Chinese delivery man now knows me by name." she says as she picks up the food box that sits on the desk and shakes it in the camera view before tossing it back down on the desk "and I can pretty much read and resight the entire menu of the bakery down the street...possibly even in my sleep, if I were getting any." she says as she readjusts and scoots closer to the desk.

"This uh, this apartment is so tiny, but it feels so huge and lonely now. I have paced this bedroom a thousand times replaying the fight we had the night he left over and over again in my head. I walk a line from one wall to the other and when I turn back around to walk the same line back to the other wall, it seems so far away...I can't get myself warm…I am cold all the time. I think I am driving myself crazy...like I could go crazy in here...Radley crazy. I mean I haven't washed my hair in days. I can pretty much feel the ends breaking as we speak. I cleaned my car out, willingly...but the kicker of this is I cleaned it out at 2 AM...yeah, I couldn't sleep so I got out of bed and went down to the parking lot of this complex and willingly cleaned out my car...at 2 o'clock in the morning, in the middle of New York City...that is how I can tell that I am going crazy." she says as she stops again and the tears fall silently down her cheeks.

"Like I said my life has been chaos for such a long time, but I can almost remember him being here. Get arrested, he visits jail and says he's not leaving. Get kidnapped and he's the first thing I see when I get out. I uh, I pushed him away because again, autopilot and even though he was a little clingy or so I though he always let me know that he was there for me. Get the boot from my dad about school and Caleb to the rescue, saving the day like he always did. Plus, Lord only knows what other kind of shenanigans I got myself into that he was always there for." she chuckles and looks down at her hands and then back up at the screen "He should've ran away screaming a thousand times...but he never did. Now...I just wish he was here to talk to, but he's on the other side of the world...and I don't think he's coming back this time." she sniffles "I'm uh...I'm rambling...I just don't know what else to say. I just want tomorrow to be a better day; I need tomorrow to be a better day. I can't take too many more like the last 7 or I will go crazy." she leans forward and hits the end button and the video loops back to the beginning.

He sighs and sits watching the screen that is frozen on her face.

 _God, I can't watch this…why did she think I could watch this. She is absolutely miserable in these…but she's still beautiful…_

He stands from the desk and walks into the bathroom, turning the water on as high and as hot as he can. He hops in and stands under the shower head, letting the water wash over his head as he clears his thoughts. When he's done he dresses and walks back to the bedroom part of the room and sits down on the bed, staring at the laptop that sits 5 feet away. He finally stands and walks back over to the desk and clicks on the next video labeled 'Day 8'. The frame pops up and there is a freshly showered Hanna. She sits with long blonde hair dangling wet beside her face. Her eyes are red, but not as puffy as the video before. He hits play and settles into his chair.

"So, I woke up this morning…yes, woke up…5 whole hours people, this is big…that is more than I have slept in a row in 8 days. I woke up this morning and I feel…good, almost hopeful. I laid in bed last night and I got to thinking about the trip. We planned a 2 week trip, 14 days…we are just now on day 8 so there is always a possibility that even though I have bombarded myself with emotions over the last week that there is still a possibility that he can come back here when he gets back in the states…I mean stranger things have happened, right? There is always the possibility that he is as miserable as I am but he's coming back…that is the attitude I am going into today with. I refuse to cry today…that isn't too hard to handle is it? One day without tears? I am going to be hopeful." She slightly smiles and the video goes back to the beginning.

He clicks onto the next one labeled 'Day 9' and it brings up a screen that looks similar to the first one and he sighs and hits play.

"So, yesterday was a good day…a good as could be expected day. I refused to cry and I almost made it…I was so close.." she shrugs and looks away and when she looks back at the camera, there are tears "then the neighbor came over to ask if she could borrow Caleb to help her with something because her husband was out of town. I tried, I really tried…but I couldn't hold it together." She wipes the tears on her cheeks.

"Needless to say, she first thought that I had lost my mind, but she came back over a few hours later…with ice cream. I told her the whole awful, heartbreaking thing and cried as the words came out of my mouth. It's different when I am talking about it to this computer screen or when I talk about it to myself or think about it. Saying the words to other people makes it so…final. I can't handle final. I need Caleb. I need him so bad." She sobs and sobs until she can get her emotions under control and she talks again. "And I tried to stay positive. To look at it as a glass half full point of view…but he's never coming back. And just like that…I am back in the dollhouse again. Getting tortured again, except this time...I am the one pulling the strings…torturing myself."

He clicks through the videos one by one watching more of the same, feeling worse and worse. He clicks on the video labeled 'Day 19' and she pops back up on the screen, before he can overthink it, he clicks play and she starts talking.

"So, it is day 19 and today I don't feel sad, I don't feel like crying…today I feel like screaming. I am pissed…and I can't help it. We were together for years, YEARS and went through so much together and he let one big…okay, huge…one huge fight end everything we had. I may have walked out of this apartment, but I came back…I came back to fix it, and he left. I don't blame him for leaving, but I do however blame him for not coming back. I wanted to fix it, I wanted to apologize and he left and didn't come back. But that is what Caleb does; he always leaves…he takes the easy way out. Things get hard and he's out the door; that is how he works. I wish I could blame it on his parents leaving him, or what happened to him in Ravenswood but he leaves and I am so sick of him leaving me. So, for today I am pissed…and if that is enough to get me through the day without tears, then bring on the screaming because I am so sick of crying."

After the video is over he can't help the laugh that escapes his mouth. Thinking that she was right about the documented fits of rage in a breakup because here she is pissed and it was welcome sight after the last videos of tears. He clicks on the next one labeled 'Day 21' and watches as her rage turns back into tears and his smile fades. He watches each one, noting that she got another job that she was really excited about around Day 28. Day 35 she finally washed his pillow and cried about it. When he reaches 'Day 60' and the video opens with a frame of her sitting in the same position as all the others, but this one is different. She sits with her hair in messy curls and her makeup still halfway done, wearing the red dress she bought for a work dinner she went to with him. He hits play and she sighs first then starts talking.

"I went out tonight. Two months post breakup. I thought I could handle it. I got all dressed up and went out with my friends. I uh, I made it there first and I pulled out my phone. I have avoided all sources of social media…mostly on purpose because I didn't want to be the one to change my relationship status from 'In a Relationship' to 'Single' and I didn't want to have to answer the questions that I knew would follow. But I've been having a bunch of good days so I figured what the hell, right? As I scroll through my feed, there it is…Caleb Rivers has changed his relationship status from 'In a Relationship' to 'Single'…for the entire world to see. For me to see, and seeing it in black and white really made it final, final. So I started to drink…and as the mojitos came, I started to have…fun. It was weird….it's been a long time since I had fun." She swallows like the word 'fun coming out of her mouth hurt her.

"These, uh these guys walked up to our table and asked us if we wanted to dance. That was fine, so we get out and start to dance. Then…I can hear the song start to play and I willed myself to get out of there, but I couldn't force myself to move." She stops and wipes the tears that haven't rolled down her cheeks "It was the uh…I don't even know the name of the song, but it came on one day and he danced with me in the living room to it…I heard it, and I tried to move but I couldn't. I curled into this guy that had asked me to dance and closed my eyes. I danced with a complete stranger to a song that was kinda like our song. When I opened my eyes, he leaned down and kissed me. I froze and when I finally could move…I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom and boarded myself up in the stall." she laughs and more tears fall.

"I pulled out my cellphone and I scanned through, I was trying to call him. I don't know what I was going to say…maybe beg him to come get me…or tell him that I was officially over him because I danced with another guy…maybe I was just going to call him to ask why he never came back, I don't know. But…" she shrugs "I guess I wasn't doing as well as I thought I was. I'm just ready to feel normal again. I am ready to get back to the life I once knew…but I am not sure I can because I am not sure I can get back to the life I knew without Caleb. "

The video stops and he pauses before he clicks on the next one. He puts his head in his hands as he tries to wrap his mind around everything he has seen.

 _I can't watch many more of these, I just need to find the one she wanted me to see and be done with it._

He scrolls down until he sees 'Day 658'; he takes a deep breath and opens the video. When it pops up, she looks a lot different than she has in all the videos he watched previously. Her hair is longer and her eyes aren't red and puffy. Her cheeks glow with a new tan and she doesn't smile but she doesn't frown either. He hits play and braces himself for what he is going to see as her words ring into his ears.

 _"Day 658...they are labeled...658 is the day after he proposed. I uh, I do care about him Caleb, as much as I hate telling you that - I don't want to lie to you either and tell you I don't...but you've never been too far from my mind. I know that I have a lot to think about, but there are some things you need to see on that too."_

"So, this happened yesterday" she says as she holds her left hand up into camera view and shows off the ring that accents her ring finger "Jordan asked me to marry him …and I uh, I said yes, obviously." She kind of chuckles and looks back down at her hand and back up at the camera "And I am happy, I really am…I know I should say something like I am happier than I have ever been but I can't say that. I can say that I am happy because I am but yesterday was…weird." she stops and sighs.

"I would never say it to anyone else, but it wasn't what I always imagined it would be. I kinda always imagined that when I accepted a proposal, it would be from Caleb. Don't get me wrong this proposal was amazing and over the top…this ring is..." she pulls her hand back up and looks at it "it's absolutely beautiful...I would've never said yes for convenience and I know that. I didn't say yes because he is rich and handsome…he is those things but that isn't the reason. I do care about him. I love him, I do. . Jordan is amazing. He is everything that I should want in a husband. He is smart, he is loving, he likes a lot of the same things I do. He comes from an amazing family and he could take care of me…he does take care of me. He will make an amazing husband…but…he isn't…Caleb…and my heart broke a little yesterday because of it." She stops and sniffles as she wipes her nose with her hand.

"I just, never imagined myself marrying anyone else. But I don't think I am settling because I do care about Jordan…I don't want to settle. Caleb is never coming back so that isn't technically settling, that is moving on right? I know that sounds awful and I know that I shouldn't be saying things like that, not at this point because I said yes to a marriage proposal…but I know that deep down I will always love Caleb. There is nothing I can do about it. I just…will. There isn't any amount of time that will change that. I love him…I will always love him."

And the video ends and he takes a deep breath.

 _Oh my god…_

He rewinds the video a few seconds and watches it again, her voice echoing off the walls.

"I will always love Caleb. There is nothing I can do about it. I just…will. There isn't any amount of time that will change that. I love him…I will always love him."


	8. Chapter 8

She stops, her back to him and throws her head back to look at the ceiling before turning around. She throws her hands out by her sides "I can't marry you Jordan..."

"What are you talking about Hanna?"

She giggles a little bit and covers her mouth quickly

 _This is not funny Hanna..._

"I uh, I can't marry you." she finally says when she has recovered her composure.

"Because I don't know the way you take your coffee? Hanna, look it is normal for most people to get cold feet before they get married…"

 _Caleb...Caleb...it's Caleb..._

Tears well up in her eyes, she blinks and they fall from her cheeks "It's not cold feet…it's Caleb."

"Caleb?" he asks unable to believe what he is hearing

Hanna takes a deep breath and sits down on the couch "Yeah, Caleb." when she realizes that she has sat down without permission she immediately stands back up "Sorry…" she says as she wraps her arms around herself and looks back at Jordan who still stands by the door in his flannel pajama bottoms with his arms crossed over his bare chest.

"Yeah, sit...please." he says as he motions to the couch and she plops back down on it ungracefully and sighs as he walks around and sits down beside her.

 _Smooth Hanna, real smooth._

"Caleb?" he asks again, staring straight forward, his eyes never leaving the table straight in front of them.

She shakes her head yes even though he doesn't look at her and she watches him closely as they sit in silence.

"Well, there is a name I haven't heard in a while." he finally says with a sigh, before looking back at her "What the hell does that even mean Hanna?"

She runs her hands through her hair "Yeah look, I know this is sudden…and out of left field…and I am so sorry…but I just can't …its Caleb. It has always been Caleb...and I tried, I really did but..."

"And you're calling off our engagement because of Caleb…? Or because I don't know how you take your coffee and your favorite wine? Please forgive me but I am so confused."

Hanna huffs "Yeah, you're not the only one." she says as she sits back on the couch and closes her eyes. She finally sits up and looks at him "Both, maybe…I don't know." she glances back up at him and clasps her hands out in front of her "Let me start from the beginning, Caleb is back in town for a few days …I uh I ran into him Friday night…at Murphy's...literally...ran into him We were singing karaoke and we went to the bar to get drinks and Alyssa tried to hit on him…when I saw him I just…" she trails off and shrugs as she plays with the ring on her finger.

"Hanna, are you seriously thinking about calling off our engagement because you ran into your ex….fling at a bar?"

"Okay, one Caleb was never a fling…ex or otherwise…and if you only knew how much he campaigned for you over the last few days, you would feel like a huge ass right now."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that…I just…I don't understand where all of this is coming from. When I left 6 days ago, we were fine...you wanted to get married. Now all of a sudden you just up and barge into my apartment asking about coffees and wines and talking about exes." he says as he runs his hands over his face.

"I know, I'm getting to that...so after he left, I got really, really drunk and I saw him walking down the street and I yelled at the cab driver to stop and I apparently got out yelled at him in the middle of the sidewalk and then got really sick and he took me home and put me to bed, the next morning he knew exactly what drinks make me cry and which ones make me yell and he knew what I had drank without me even having to tell him...which is weird. Then he made coffee and he still knew exactly how I like it...then I offered to make him dinner as a thank you for taking care of me while I was acting like an idiot and he came over with my favorite bottle of wine and we ate out on my fire escape patio that you don't like and it was just like he never left. Like we were us again..." she says quickly before finally stops and takes a breath.

"I just…" she stops and turns to him "I've spent the last two days really wrapped up in the way I feel about him after all this time...and I laid in bed last night and I thought about it and I have never really let anyone else know me like he does, because I only want him to know me like that. I thought about my life and how it has been since he left, about us and me and him and…they've been confusing…and enlightening…and really, really hard." she stops and looks over at him "Jordan I care about you…I really really do…and I am so sorry…I know you probably feel like I have just wasted your time…and I feel awful about doing it because I did want to want this...want us. But you are going to make some lucky lady a very good husband one day-"

"I want to make you a good husband." he cuts her off

She wipes the tears that have started to run down her cheeks away "I know you do…and you have no idea how much I wanted myself to want that too…because I did…I did. You are everything a girl could ask for in a husband…and any girl is going to be lucky to have you."

"If I am everything a girl could ask for, how come you are telling me that I am not what you want?" he asks as she looks at her and she offers him a blank stare that answers his question without words "Because I am not Caleb..." he whispers and it's more of a statement rather than a question.

She kind of chuckles through her tears "And it's not just about my alcoholic drink preferences and how the effect my personality or how I like my coffee and my favorite wine...but I bust up in here early in the morning and ask you a question like that...and the first thing you notice is how I am dressed...and you ask if I am sick...because you've never seen me like this..." she shrugs again and wipes her face "He has, more than anyone else he has. He knows every secret, every flaw, and every insecurity I have...I've never really let you in because letting you in meant giving up a piece of myself that he's held for a very long time."

"You've always said you felt like you could tell me anything." he says in disbelief of her words

"I know...and I do. I do feel like I can tell you anything about my life...now. But have you ever noticed that I don't really mention Rosewood like...ever? No, because all those memories are ours...mine and his. Did you know that I went to fat camp when I was younger...or that they called me Hefty Hanna until I was like 15 and how I felt about it? No...because I have never let myself open up to you like that...because then meant I was trusting someone else other than him with my vulnerability...and I have never been able to do that."

He stands and walks over to the other side of the room and faces the wall. She stays on the couch and watches him before she finally stands and speaks again.

"And that doesn't mean that what we had together wasn't real...because it was. It was real and I really do care about you...I just thought that I could live the rest of my life the way I have been since he left and I can't...I can't live like that, and I can't...not now. It's not fair to you to only have half of me, you deserve someone that will give you everything they have... it's not fair to me to only give you half of me…"

He looks over his shoulder at her before he finally huffs and turns back around to face her "I uh...I act like I should be shocked by this...but if we are talking honesty here...I somehow always knew that this day would come...even though I hoped it wouldn't."

"What-What do you mean?" she asks confused

He brings his fingers to the bridge of his nose, "You, uh...you used to talk about him...in your sleep." he says before he finally looks back at her and crosses his arms again.

Hanna moves like she has just been shot, shocked by this information "What do you mean talk to him in my sleep? What did I say?"

 _Talk in my sleep? That is new...oh no wait! Caleb used to say something about me talking in my sleep...after the dollhouse maybe?_

"You would..." he sighs "You would apologize for leaving. Sometimes you would beg him to came back...you'd say you loved him.." he trails off as he looks at her "I mean I've known for a long time that I am competing with him...with what you had with him. I have seen the panic in your eyes when you think you see him, and the way you kept looking over your shoulder when we went to visit your mom, that one time...just waiting for him to come around... but I never actually thought this would happen...as bad as it sounds...I kinda hoped he would never come back..because I knew that if he did, I would lose you..." he stops again and looks down at the floor "Just like I am doing now...dammit."

She takes a step towards him "Jordan, I am so sorry...but you have to understand that this has nothing to do with you at all...as cliché as it sounds...it's the truth. You are amazing...I take full responsibility on this. I just-I've been holding onto letting go for so long and I just can't."

He cuts her off "What are you gonna do if he leaves again?"

"Excuse me?"

"When we met and had the discussion of exes that is what you told me...'He leaves, that is why we didn't work out' and you've said yourself how messed up you were about it after he left you last time...what are you going to do if he leaves again?"

 _Good point...what am I going to do if he leaves again? What am I thinking...Caleb won't leave...not this time._

"That won't happen...not this time."

"But what if it does then what?"

"I uh I guess I will just have to take my chances..."

He walks towards her and reaches for her hand "Hanna, just think about what you're doing. Think about the chance your taking of it not happening again. I love you and if he will make you happy then I will be okay with it...but I am begging you, please think about this before you make any kind of decision."

Twenty minutes later, she is back on the street outside of his upscale apartment complex and starts to grab a cab. Deciding that a walk will do her some good, she starts down the sidewalk and lets her mind wonder over everything that has happened. Pulling her cellphone out she sees it's now 6:30 A. M.

 _He's not really a morning person...maybe I should grab him a coffee before I unload all of this on him...Yes, I think I will._

She thinks as she stops in front of a small coffee shop and ducks in the door and walks up to the counter.

"Good morning ma'am. What can I get for you today?" the young, cheery girl behind the counter asks with a smile.

"I need two medium coffees to go. One with lots of sugar, no creamer the other..." she pauses as a slight smile creeps up on her face "the other one creamer, one sugar."

"Coming right up." she says as she turns and starts on her order.

When she's done Hanna pays and grabs both cups in her hands as she walks out the door on the path for his hotel. She sips her coffee on the way and is done by the time she reaches the block on his hotel. She stands outside of the hotel and looks up at it. It is just your typical downtown hotel, but right now the sight of it makes her stomach do flips.

 _Just breathe, you can do this...just breathe..._

She gives herself the pep talk as she walks into the hotel lobby and heads for the bank of elevators. She hops in the first one that arrives and it's the button for the fourth floor. As the doors shut, her heart begins to race and by the time it arrives at his floor, she is almost hyperventilating.

She steps out and walks in the direction of his room and when she reaches it she stops and lingers outside the door for a minute thinking of what she will say, how she will tell him. She pulls the card out of her back pocket and looks at it before sliding it down into the door. She quickly pulls it back out and when the light on the handle turns green she pushes the handle down slowly and opens the door.

"Caleb?"

She calls out softly in case he is still asleep as she walks slowly in the room. It's dark and the curtains on window are still closed. She slowly makes her way into the room, "Caleb?" she calls out again,

 _It's quiet in here...it's too quiet in here..._

She thinks as she begins to panic and reaches for the lamp at the desk area and flips it on. She looks, the bed is empty and made. She sits the cup down and turns back around heading for the bathroom door that is propped open. She pushes it open and flips the switch as she looks inside...empty.

 _Am I in the right room? Well the key wouldn't work if I wasn't...where is he?_

She opens back up and walks into the hallway, finding a maid standing next to her cart across the hall from the door. She turns around and jumps when she sees Hanna standing there.

"I'm sorry ma'am, I thought this room was empty." she says as she turns back to put the towels on her cart.

"Empty? My uh...my. I thought that...do you show that this person has already checked out...is that what you are saying?"

The maid picks up the chart off of her cart and runs her finger down the list until she gets to his room number "Yes ma'am. He checked out this morning."

"What?" she squeaks, making the maid jump backwards away from her

"I'm sorry ma'am. You're welcome to go down to the front desk and see if you can get more information. This is all I have." she says as she holds out the clipboard.

 _Crap. Where could he have gone? THE APARTMENT!_

"Uh, no thanks. Thank you."

She says as she begins to run down the hall and frantically hit the button for the elevator. When it finally arrives she jumps and starts to hit the button on the doors to close.

 _Please be there Caleb. Please be there..._

She thinks as she rides down to the main lobby and runs out of the hotel and onto the street to hail a cab. When one finally pulls over she hops in and quickly gives him her address.

"I need to get there ASAP." she says almost out of breathe.

In fifteen minutes, that feels like fifteen hours they pull up outside her apartment and she jumps out, throwing him her money and telling him to keep the change. She races up the stairs taking them two at a time until she finally reaches her hallway.

"Caleb?" she calls out as she walks down the hallway "Caleb?" she calls again and no answer.

When she reaches the door, she doesn't see him or a note or anything. She leans her back against the door as the tears spring to her eyes.

 _Is he...did he leave...again?_

She sinks to the floor in front of the door as the tears roll down her cheeks, her heart beating in her eardrums. She stands and walks into the apartment, throwing her keys on the table by the door as she walks to the couch and throws herself back onto it. She sighs and stares at the ceiling, watching the fan swing around and around.

 _Did he really leave again? He couldn't have...he wanted this...he kissed me._

She sits up and the light flashing on the answering machine sitting on the counter catches her eye. She walks over and hits the button.

 _Please be him...Please be him...Crap! He doesn't have the number..._

"You have one unheard message" the automated voice rings out before the message starts playing

"Hey Han, its me...ah Caleb. I had information look up your landline...look I uh, I had to run back to D.C. first thing this morning. It was an emergency...and they are about to tell me to put my phone up.." he says and then stops she can hear him talking to someone else in the background "Yes ma'am. I will get off" he says to her and then speaks back into the phone "Yeah, I uh...I have to go...look, just call Jamie. He knows all the details...I'm. uh...I'm not running..I promise. I gotta go, just call him, please."

 **BEEEPPPP**

It rings out so loud it echoes against the walls.

 _He's gone...I can't believe he's actually gone._


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay guys, please don't be mad about the time jump. We will get to what happened during the time difference, I promise. Hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think. :)**

* * *

 **8 MONTHS LATER**

* * *

Hanna's phone buzzes on the table, she sits up and grabs it before laying back down on the couch. Sliding it open she goes to her text screen to see a text from Jen

 **Put on your tightest, whitest dress – We're going out. Be there around 6!**

Hanna huffs and rolls her eyes as she types out her reply

 **I don't need to go out. Why don't we just have wine and pizza in? My treat?**

She hits send and waits for the reply that she know she will get almost immediately, and she does.

 **Don't even go there Marin. Get your ass up and get ready. We are going out. Be there at 6 – NO QUESTIONS!**

Hanna sighs again, exasperated knowing that this was an argument she would not win.

 **Fine. See you at 6.**

Hanna looks towards the clock and notices the time, 3:50.

 _Damn it Jen. A little more notice would've been nice…_

She thinks as she hops up from her spot on the couch and heads towards the bedroom for the bathroom to take a shower.

When she gets out, she blow dries her hair and begins to rolls it up on big rollers before leaving the bathroom in search of something to wear. She swings the closet doors open and skims through the hangers and pulls out every white dress she has in her closet and throws them on the bed. One by one she picks them up and holds them up to her body and looks in the mirror until she settles on dress number 4 and puts the rest back in the closet.

She heads back into the bathroom and begins to start on her makeup. Once she is done perfecting her makeup, she takes the rollers out of her hair and lets it fall in full, volumized curls down her back. As she fluffs it up in the front she looks in the mirror, giving herself an overall look of approval before walking back into the bedroom to get dressed. Sliding into her dress of choice –A tight white lace number with one ¾ length full lace sleeve and a scalloped hem at the bottom - she pulls on her hot pink wedges, just as there is a knock at the door.

She walks into the living room, to the door and swings it open. Jen, Alyssa, and Erin stand on the other side all wearing a shade of pink and ready to go.

"Oh my god…you look…HOT!" Alyssa says as she looks her up and down for approval.

Hanna laughs and poses in a silly way before saying thank you and moving out of the way for them to come into her apartment.

"I'm almost ready. Just got to grab my clutch..." She says as she runs back into her bedroom to grab her bag, leaving her friends to stand in the living room. She grabs a hot pink clutch to match her shoes and throws her pink lipstick – shade 'Starlit Pink', and her phone inside along with her debit card, cash, and license. She makes her way back out into the living room to see the girls pulling a sash out of Erin's bag.

"Oh no. Absolutely not!" she says as she shakes her head at her friends.

"Oh come on Hanna! It's just a sash!" Jen pleads

"Yeah, a giant hot pink sash…no. Not wearing it." She says again with a shake of her head as she grabs her keys from the table and throws them in her clutch. She looks back at her friends "Okay, ready." she says and they just stand there "What?" she asks as she looks at them, waiting.

"We are not leaving this apartment until you put this sash on." Alyssa says as she holds it up.

Hanna rolls her eyes "Fine!" she says as she takes the sash from her friends and the all smile at her excitedly. She throws the sash over her sleeved shoulder and pins it at the bottom near her other hip. "There you happy?" she asks as she pulls her hair out from under the sash and throws her arms out in defeat of her friends.

They all smile at each other and then back at her before Erin says "Almost" and pulls a veil out from behind her back, shaking it at Hanna with excitement.

"No…No. No, absolutely not. I will wear the hot pink Bride-To-Be sash that I am sure you guys only got because I A. told you not to, and B. you know will get us free drinks…I will wear this" she says as the pulls at the sash "but I draw the line at a veil.."

"But come on…it will look so cute!" Alyssa says

"NO! The answer is no…let's go!" she says as she heads for the door, leaving her friends to follow behind her.

When the cab pulls up in front of the bar Hanna knocks the veil out of her face so she can see where they are.

 _Damn this veil._

"Murphy's? Really? First the sash, then the veil and now this..? You girls must really want to embarrass me tonight…I am guessing karaoke?"

Jen smiles at her "Something like that. Come on…we have a surprise for you!"

Hanna gets out of the car and pulls her dress down some then straightens the veil on top of her head.

 _Singing karaoke while looking like Vegas Wedding Barbie…this should be interesting…I just wanted a small, girls night…but they mean well…let them have their fun. You're getting married in a WEEK!_

She thinks with a smile as she waits on the sidewalk while the rest of the girls pay, and then pile out of the cab. Erin grabs Hanna's hand as they make their way to the front door and push it open. Music blares from inside the building and they link hands as they make their way through the crowd of people inside and find the table already set up for them close to the stage.

Hanna can't help the laugh that escapes her throat when she sees the lengths the girls have gone through. The table sits away from the crowd sort of secluded from the madness of the dance floor. The table is covered in a hot pink tablecloth and there is a bottle of champagne sitting on the table in a tub waiting for them to arrive.

"You guys, you didn't have to do all of this!" she says as she picks up her rhinestone 'Bride' champagne flute and looks at it "I appreciate but you guys are going to make me cry." she says as she reaches out to hug all of them.

"You just wait to see the surprise we have for you!" Alyssa exclaims with a squeal and a clap "But first…mojitos!" she says as she grabs Hanna's hand and pulls her towards the bar. As they push their way through the crowd for the bar, Alyssa stops suddenly and Hanna runs into the back of her.

"Lyssa, what the-?" she stops when she looks up and sees why Alyssa has stopped. "Jordan? What are you doing here?" she asks as she looks up at him and then around the room in disbelief.

"Hi Hanna….I uh- I didn't know you were going to be here tonight…I uh, I'm just here with some friends…but I'll go…so we don't ruin your bachelorette party." he stumbles over his words, slightly embarrassed.

"Oh, it's no big deal…you don't have to do that. I didn't know I was coming out tonight actually." she says with a smile and a shove to Alyssa's back

He gives her a smile back "Well, you look beautiful…have fun, don't get into too much trouble." he says as he turns the opposite direction and walks off.

Hanna shoots Alyssa a look "I'm sorry. I didn't know he was going to be here."

"It's fine….mojitos, NOW!" she says as she turns Alyssa back around and they continue make their way through the people to the bar. When they reach it, Alyssa shoves Hanna in front, as the bartender arrives

"What can I get for you ladies?" he asks

"Four Mojitos, please." Hanna says to him and he turns to start their mixing their drinks.

Hanna turns back to Alyssa, "Look…I really appreciate tonight…but you cannot let me get too drunk. We have to get on the road back to Rosewood tomorrow and I have my final dress fitting on Monday so I can't be bloated. Deal?"

Alyssa smiles back at her "Deal." and hugs Hanna tightly "We didn't know he would be here tonight but I do want to apologize for it anyway." she whispers as she pulls back and lifts Hanna's left hand up into the air and looks at her ring "I cannot believe that this time next week, you're gonna be married." she squeals "You will make a beautiful bride Hanna Marin!" she says with a look of appreciation on her face.

Hanna's eyes well up with tears "You bitch." she says as she brings her fingers up underneath her eyes to stop them from falling "You're gonna make me cry and I spent 15 minutes trying to make sure I got this cat eye on point." she says and they share a laugh just as the bartender walks back to their end of the bar with four small cups in hand.

"Here you go ladies, and they are on the house. Congratulations to the bride to be from us here at Murphy's! You ladies enjoy!" he says as he hands each of the two cups.

"Thank you!" Hanna says as she smiles a smile at him and she can barely here Alyssa say 'oh my god.' under her breathe behind her. She turns back around "What is it Lyssa?" she asks then looks up. She stops where she stands "Caleb? What are you doing here tonight?"

He looks at both of them then back to Hanna looking her up and down "I'm just here with some friends…I didn't know you would be here though…so we will head on out so we won't ruin your night….god, you look incredible" he says

"I'm just gonna go on back to the table. You good?" Alyssa asks as she shoots Hanna a questioning look before leaning in and whispering in her arm "I am so sorry. We didn't know he would be here either."

"Yeah, I uh…I will be there in just a minute." she says to Alyssa as she turns back to Caleb.

"Bachelorette party huh?" he says as he notices the sash across her chest.

"Um…yeah. I uh, I didn't know I was coming out tonight. They just called me up last minute." she says with an awkward laugh and smile "I'm heading out tomorrow…back to Rosewood…getting hitched next week so they wanted me to have one last night out before the big day."

"He's a lucky guy." he says as he offers up a smile "You happy?"

"Uh, yeah I am...very…I'm a very lucky girl."

"Well, look…we already have rounds on the table but when we are done we will head out. I have already ruined one girls night out for you this year…I wouldn't want to ruin another one…much less a bachelorette party." he says as he reaches out to hug her "You look amazing, by the way."

"Thank you" she whispers as she hugs him back.

He turns and walks in the opposite direction as she turns and walks back to her table. When she reaches it she can see the shocked look on all of her friends faces as she hands Jen her mojito and takes the lone empty stool sitting beside her.

Erin lifts her glass in the air "Okay ladies lift them up. Let's raise a toast to our beautiful friend Hanna on her last night in New York City as a single woman!" she exclaims and the rest of the girls raise their cups and they all yell "Cheers!" and take a drink of their minty drinks.

Hanna takes another sip and looks over her shoulder in the direction across the bar from them. Her eyes spring open really wide as she cannot believe what she is seeing. She quickly turns back to her friends "Is this the only place we are going tonight?" she asks panicking.

"It doesn't have to be. Why? What's wrong?"

"Well, as soon as we are done with these, can we leave and go somewhere else?"

"Hanna, we can't. You haven't seen your surprise yet." Erin pouts from across the table.

"What's up Han?" Jen leans in close and whispers

Hanna looks back over her shoulder and then back at the girls "Well… I mean because…Jordan and Caleb are having drinks…over there…together...my fiance and my ex. fiance..drinking...together." she says as she nods her head quickly behind her.

All the girls turn and look in the direction and they gasp.

"Oh wow. That's awkward." Erin says

"Why in the world…?" Alyssa asks but is cut off by the DJ who loudly comes over the speakers behind Hanna.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen…it seems that we have a couple of ladies in the bar celebrating a bachelorette party tonight." He says

"OH THIS IS IT!" Erin claps excitedly

"And it would appear that they want to sing a little karaoke so ladies, come on up here." He calls

As the music of 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' begins to play, Hanna looks back at her friends at the table "Oh absolutely not!"

"Oh, he's not talking about us….yet." Jen says with a look of innocence on her face, she then slightly smiles.

"I come home in the morning light my mother says when you gonna live your life right. Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones and girls they want to have fun. Oh girls just want to have fun."

Hanna sighs in relief as she hears the voices singing from the stage and she picks up her cup and takes a sip before the voices register in the back of her mind. She spins around quickly on her stool and looks up at the stage. Aria, Spencer, Emily and Ali all stand up in the spotlight singing into two microphones and they all smile in her direction. She spins back around in her chair with tears in her eyes.

"Surprise!" Erin exclaims with another excited clap of her hands.

"How did you? When did-"she says through her tears

"I found them on Facebook last week and asked if they could come." Jen says with a smile.

"They love you as much as we do, so they were totally up for it!" Alyssa says

"But girls they want to have fun. Oh girls just want to have, that's all they really want. Some fun. When the working day is done." they sing again from the stage

"Go! Get your ass up there!" Erin tells her

Hanna hops off of her bar stool and the other girls follow suit as they make their way onto the stage. The girls stop singing as Hanna wraps her arms around them tightly. Erin, Jen, and Alyssa take over singing "Oh girls, they want to have fun. Oh girls just want to have fun"

"Oh my gosh. It is so good to see you guys! Thank you so much for coming!" Hanna cries

"Han, are you kidding?" Spencer asks

"We wouldn't have missed this for the world!" Aria says as they all hug again.

"Come on ladies, let's sing!" Emily calls out and they join the other girls at the microphone

"That's all they really want. Some fun. When the working day is done. Oh girls, they want to have fun. Oh girls just want to have fun Girls they wanna. Wanna have fun." They all sing and laugh.

Hanna looks up and sees two sets of eyes on her. They both stand side by side near a table in the back of the bar. They watch her, but talk to each other. She shakes her head and continues singing along with the other girls, ignoring the awkwardness that is going on between the three of them.

When they are done the girls all walk off stage and back to the table. Hanna stops and laughs again before she is overcome with emotion and begins to tear up again "Oh my gosh! How did you guys get away with all of this? I JUST talked to you yesterday and you said nothing!" she says as she points at Emily who laughs too.

"Ali and I were actually just pulling up in front of our hotel when you called and we so thought that we had been caught!"

"You should've seen the look on her face when she saw your name on her phone. Full on panic mode!" Ali chimes in with a laugh.

"Aria…you said you would be in Boston until Wednesday and miss my final fitting. What are you doing here?"

"I have actually been back in town for a few days now…helping your mom. She wanted to surprise you by having everything ready so you could relax this week…and when Jen got in touch with me…I wasn't going to let your bachelorette party pass by and not come."

She hugs each one of them again and then turns to Jen, Erin, and Alyssa "You ladies have no idea what this means to me! Thank you." she says as she begins her rounds hugging each one of them.

"So, now that everybody is here. Let's get this party started." Alyssa says as she pulls the champagne bottle out of the bucket and starts to pop the cork as Jen pulls four more hot pink "Bride Squad" flutes out and hands them to the girls.

Hanna squeals again and looks around at all the girls as they stand around in a circle and Jen pours some champagne in their glasses. When she reaches Hanna she smiles as she pours champagne into her bride flute and hands it to her.

Spencer lifts her flute into the air "To Hanna, the girl that we all know and love who will make the most beautiful bride ever! Hanna, we love you more than you will ever know. Cheers!"

"Cheers!" they all chime in and clink the tops of their glasses together before taking a sip from their flutes

As they all begin to talk, Hanna watches them in silence.

 _What did I ever do in life to get such amazing friends? They have literally dropped everything they were doing to come here and celebrate my last night in New York before the wedding with me. And these three – who have never met these other girls – invite them here to celebrate with me, because they knew how much I missed my friends from home. How did I ever get so lucky?_

She smiles to herself and lifts her champagne back up to take another sip. When she does the lights catch the diamond on her finger and make it sparkle to catch her attention. She pulls her hand out in front of her face and wiggles her fingers. She smiles with admiration as she looks it over.

 _And then this. I am so lucky. These last 8 months have been hard, and complicated, but man…have they been worth it. I am so in love with him and I cannot wait to be Mrs.-_

"Hanna!" Ali shouts to get her attention and when she looks up at her "Will you quit eyeing your shiny rock and fill us in on some wedding deets."

Hanna smiles and opens her mouth and then closes it when she hears a familiar voice call from behind her.

"Hey Han."

She stills for a moment and looks at all the girls who offer very panicked stares and then they distract themselves with other things, leaving her to fend for herself in this situation.

She turns around and stands from her stool to face him "Hey. You leaving?"

"Yeah, I uh…I was only here having a drink with a couple friends…I uh, I got transferred at work to California so I was just here doing a going away thing."

"California? Wow. That amazing."

"Yeah, you know I have family out there so maybe it won't be too bad of a move."

"Maybe not then." she smiles at him "Good luck."

He reaches out to hug her and stops himself. She smiles again and opens her arms out for him to give her a hug. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her in awkwardly "Congratulations. I met him…I like him…he's nice….he loves you and he will do right by you."

"Yeah, he does." she whispers back to him "Thank you. I am so sorry about everything."

"Hey, it's no big deal. You ended up where you should be." he says as he pulls back "I gotta go, just didn't feel right leaving without saying goodbye."

He turns to walk out of the bar, waving at her friends as he does. She watches him leave, then turns back to look across the bar. Familiar warm eyes meet hers and he smiles at her, making her blush.

 _God, he's hot. I am so lucky._

She thinks as she blows him a kiss from across the room making him laugh and shake his head at her gesture. She giggles and turns back to the table and the girls all stop their chatter and look expectantly at her.

"Well? How'd that go?" Jen asks

Hanna shrugs "We get each other, that's all. He knows I made the right decision, he's okay with it. He uh…he actually said he likes him." she says with a laugh and picks up her cup to take a sip of her mojito before she continues "So, where was I?"

"Wedding details." Spencer says as she leans in and puts her elbow on the table, interested in what she will say.

"Yes, okay well I-"she starts but is cut off when the waitress walks up to them with a tray full of shots.

"Okay ladies, I have 8 shots here for the bride and the bride squad sent over from the groom to be." she says as she sits one down in front of each girl "And he said to tell you to have fun tonight and that you look beautiful. He also said to tell you that he loves you and he cannot wait to marry you." she says to Hanna with a smile.

Hanna blushes again and all the girls sigh with envy at his words spoken by the waitress. The waitress picks up her tray and walks away, and Hanna glances over her shoulder at him across the bar. He sits watching them from his table, when their eyes meet he winks at her making her smile. He tips the top of his bottle to her and takes a drink of his beer. She turns back to her friends with a ridiculous grin splashed all over his face.

"You guys are so in love…I am so jealous." Alyssa says with a smile

"Yeah, we are." Hanna says almost in a daze

"Well, let's not let these go to waste" Jen says as she picks up her shot glass and holds it up, the rest of the girls following suit. They clink their glasses and down their shots and sit their glasses back down on the table.

"So Han, spill…how did all of this go down?" Aria asks

Hanna smiles and looks back over her shoulder once more at her soon to be husband who laughs with his friends across the bar. He catches her stare and looks up at her, his brown eyes glistening in the lights; he smiles and butterflies erupt in her stomach. She turns back to her friends again with a smile on her lips.

"Okay, this is really starting to make me sick." Spencer says with humor in her tone as the other girls shake their heads in agreement.

"Spill. Now." Emily says again

"Well...I was here about 8 months ago we went out for my birthday and ran into Caleb…"she says as she starts to tell them the story.


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay guys, here it is! I have to say that I really, really loved writing this chapter. Let me know what you guys think! :)**

* * *

"Well...I was here about 8 months ago we went out for my birthday and ran into Caleb…literally."

"It made for a very awkward night...let me just tell you." Jen said

"Oh, I can only imagine." Aria agrees with a lift of her eyebrows, no doubt relating to her Liam/Ezra situation.

Hanna can't help the smile that creeps over her face when she can feel him before she hears or sees him.

"Excuse me ladies, you mind if I steal the bride away for just a few minutes? I will bring her back, I promise." he asks as he walks up behind her and puts the back of Hanna's chair, his fingers barely grazing her naked shoulder and it makes shivers run down her spine.

"Of course we care." Spencer says as she tries to keep her stern face straight

"Me and the guys are fixing to leave to head on somewhere else, and I wanted to snag a slow dance with the most beautiful girl in this place before we did."

"I'm just kidding. You two lovebirds go on somewhere."

Hanna turns around to face him, her face blushed and she takes his hand and they make their way onto the dance floor.

As the song stops the DJ's voice booms through the speakers "Okay, it would appear that not only do we have the bachelorette party in the house…but we also have the groom and his bachelor party in here as well." He stops as the crowd of people start to hoop and yell "And the groom as asked to have a slow song played, just so that he can dance with his soon to be wife, and here at Murphy's, we try to make everyone happy so…we're gonna slow it down…just for soon to be newlyweds."

They take a spot in the crowd near the center of the dance floor and she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him close. He wraps his around her waist and smiles a smile that almost makes her too weak in the knees to dance as 'All of Me' begins to play through the speakers and they slowly begin to move.

They watch as one by one every other person on the dance floor moves and leaves only the two of them dancing, with all eyes on them. Hanna's eyes fill with tears as she looks around and everybody in the bar stops to watch them. Most of the girls are tearing up like she is, and couples stand with their arms wrapped around each other. She laughs through her tears and turns her attention back to him as he stands his eyes only on hers.

"So, you're getting married next week I hear?" he asks playfully.

"I am. This time next week I will be Mrs. Caleb Rivers" she says and the smile creeps up onto her face as stares into his deep brown eyes

"Mrs. Caleb Rivers…that has a damn fine ring to it if you ask me" he says as he returns her smile "So, what's he like…your fiancé…?"

She giggles at his playfulness "He is…my tall, dark and handsome. He is the love of my life, my very best friend, and every single wish I have ever made come true. He has had my heart since I was 17, and he always will…until I am like, 117." they both laugh and he looks down and back up at her "Leaving him standing in our apartment 3…almost 4 years ago was the biggest mistake I have ever made…but having him back, it's the greatest gift I have ever been given. I never plan on making that mistake again. Where he goes, I will go because, he's…home."

Caleb chokes back what looks like tears in his eyes and chuckles "Lucky bastard."

They laugh again and she looks at him questioningly "Did you know about this? About them bringing me out tonight and having the girls in town?"

"Yeah, I did actually…the guys came into town too…they wanted to surprise you so they begged me not to say anything…and you don't know how hard it is to keep something like that a secret when it comes to you." they laugh again as they continue their slow circle in the middle of the dance floor. "I didn't know that you would be coming here though, or I would've made plans to go elsewhere…which I should've done anyway considering the circumstances."

"You don't have to leave…it won't ruin my bachelorette party. I would rather spend the night with you around anyway." she says as lays her chin on his shoulder "I'm sorry if Jordan ruined your night…what was that all about?"

"Nah, he didn't. He bought us some beers…told me congratulations…it was a little awkward, but he's a decent guy…can't hate on him, at least not now. I know why he's so messed up…I feel sorry for him, I've been there…done it. You're a hard girl to shake Hanna Marin."

"Rivers. Hanna Rivers." she whispers

"Yeah, I can't wait to be able to call you that." He says as the song comes to an end.

As they pull apart they look around at the crowd and there is hardly a dry eye in the place; everyone claps and wipes their eyes. Hanna can feel her face heat as her cheeks turn red with all eyes on her. Caleb grabs her hand and she glances over at him as he looks at her and brings her hand to his lips, kissing her finger just above her engagement ring. She can feel the hair at the nape of her neck prickle at the touch of his lips to her skin.

They move off of the dance floor and walk back to the table hand in hand. As they reach table, she notices that Toby has made his way over to join Spencer and Ezra stands with his arms wrapped around Aria at the table. Emily and Alison sit side by side with their arms link together, and Hanna knows that they are holding hands under the table. She smiles and then gives them a shocked look as she sees what is going down.

"Looks like I am not the only one that has some explaining to do." she says as she makes her way back to the table. She points between Aria and Spencer "When did this all happen?"

"Hey, tonight isn't about us…it's about the two of you." Toby says with a grin

"Yeah, and the fact that I feel like I just watched the most romantic movie ever watching you two dance out there…I mean, I read books, and nothing has ever touched me the way that did." Aria says as she wipes her eyes.

"Imagine how their wedding day will be" Spencer says back to her and she flashes a smile to them.

Hanna looks up at Caleb and he smiles down at her and kisses the top of her head. She walks up to sit down on her bar stool and Caleb stands behind her and looks towards the other two guys "You two about ready?"

They shake their heads and start to say goodbye to the other girls. Hanna turns around to face Caleb "Where are you going to go?"

"I don't know. We have to go get Jamie, he had to work late so we're heading to pick him up and then I don't know where we are going to go." he says as he rubs her knuckles with his thumb "I will see you back at the apartment?"

Hanna play pouts at him "Are you sure I can't persuade you to stay?"

He laughs and kisses her forehead again "Oh you don't know how tempting that is…but you need some girl time so you have fun and be careful. Text me later?" he asks

"Of course." she whispers to him

He leans down and kisses her lips and her whole body shakes from the inside out. She keeps her eyes closed as she leans his forehead against hers.

"I cannot wait to marry you Hanna Marin." he whispers back.

"Rivers. Hanna Rivers" she whispers back as she smiles

"Hey guys…still here." Jen calls out and they pull their attention away for each other and notice everybody staring at them.

Caleb laughs and rounds up the other guys before leaving the bar. Hanna watches them through the window as they hop into a cab and speed off.

The girls all exchange looks at each other before Erin finally says "Yeah, I am definitely going to need that run down because you two…wow."

The rest of the group shakes their head yes in agreement as Alyssa picks up the champagne bottle from the bucket and starts pouring them around glass full.

"Where was I? Oh yeah, so we stroll in here for a girls night birthday get together and get up there, I make a total ass of myself singing because at this point I don't really care because...I don't know any of these people...I'll never see them again, right? We get down and Alyssa and I go to the bar from drinks and we bump into Caleb...in all his tall dark and handsome glory...this one" she says as she points to Alyssa across the table "had never met Caleb...knew nothing about us...and she wanted me to hook them up after she found out we knew each other." she said with a laugh.

"Hey, in my defense...you said he was just an old friend from back home, okay!" she playfully scorns and it makes everybody Hanna included.

"Right, like I could really say 'Oh this is Caleb, the love of my entire life...don't mind this ring on my finger from my fiancé'? Anyway, they drag me up on stage to sing another song after I have already seen him...not just any song...the 'Always be My Baby' Mariah Carey song...you know the one you should only sing in the car or shower...anyway..I get up on stage, have a total freak out moment and run out of the bar. Caleb being the absolute adorable gentleman he is comes to find me to check on me and we chat...he finds out about Jordan and he leaves the bar. I spent the rest of the night drinking and dancing and drinking...and drinking...and guess who ends up drunk and heartbroken? Spoiler alert! Me."

"It was the most awful thing I have ever seen. She was pitiful." Erin throws in as Hanna stops to take a sip of her drink.

"Tell me about it...a Haleb breakup was the worst." Spencer says in agreement "And I don't know who is more miserable...him or her...you should've seen him in Europe. It was awful."

Hanna almost chokes on her drink and looks at Spencer "Excuse me, did you just say Haleb?"

"Yeah. All couples have names. Brangelina, Benifer, Robsten, Kimye...Haleb..." Spencer explains.

"Haleb...Haleb" she repeats over and over as if testing the word "I pretty much love it. You're good Spence." Hanna says with a smile and another drink from her cup. She holds her hand up and swallows "That HAS to be in our wedding hashtag." she says as she begins to think of how she can use it.

The wedding hashtag is something that they have disagreed on over the last couple months. He did not want one; he thought that it was a really dumb detail actually. She insisted on it since they along with all the wedding party would be wearing from her designer's upcoming line, it would make for good marketing; he gave in of course, saying that as long as she was happy with it, he wouldn't make a big deal about it.

"Oh! What about #HalebEverAfter!" Aria announces excitedly.

"Leave it to the writer to come up with the hashtag" Ali says deadpan and it makes everyone laugh.

"Right?! So, when we leave here I get into the cab and here is where it all gets a little fuzzy. I made the cab driver pull over when I see him walking from Jamie's apartment to his hotel, that part I remember but what I said to him...well actually screamed at him is the fuzzy part...which apparently is brought on by whiskey...did anyone of you know that? Because he did...and it was really weird. I should know these things...but then again he does know me better than I know myself..." she says as she trails off lost in her thoughts about the night.

"Anyway he ends up having to take me home and take care of me because that is just how Caleb is...he's so protective...and loving...and sweet...anyway, getting sidetracked...we had dinner the next night as a thank you to him for having to deal with me. We really connected...it was like we used to be and it was like we both really knew that we were just meant to be together. The next morning I went to Jordan's and broke off our engagement...I went to tell Caleb and he was gone." she says as she thinks back to the day.

"Everyone still with me? Because this is where it gets good." she says as she looks up at them and they all sit around in a circle, attentive to her story.

"So I raced back to my apartment to see if he was there and he wasn't but he had left a message on my machine that said 'Hey Han, it's me...ah Caleb. I had information look up your landline...look I uh, I had to run back to D.C. first thing this morning. Yeah, I uh...I have to go...look, just call Jamie. He knows all the details...I'm. uh...I'm not running...I promise. I gotta go, just call him, please.' So of course you know I only listened to a few select words of that and started to panic. It took me three hours of nonstop crying before I realized he said the words 'I'm not running' in the message." she says as she lets her mind go back to that day as she tells them the story.

She laid on the couch sobbing into the throw pillow that stayed on the couch.

 _Why did he leave? What could be so important to throw us away…again?_

When the thought finally hits her she sits straight up on the couch and walks over to the machine to play the message again. This time the words "I'm not running" ring in her ears and fill her lungs with air as she begins to cry. She stands there for a few minutes before she jumps in the directions of her phone to call Jamie. She scrolls through her contacts looking for his number and coming up empty handed.

"I don't have his number" she says to herself "I DON'T HAVE HIS NUMBER." she yells at her phone, waiting for it to answer her.

She begins to panic as she paces the living room floor trying to figure out what to do next. Then she stops when the thought comes to her head.

 _I'll just go over there…_

She grabs her keys and her phone and walks back out the door and hits the stairs. When she reaches the street she examines the traffic and realizes that she would get there quicker on foot, so she turns to her left and makes her way down the sidewalk towards Jamie's apartment. She walks as quickly as she can with the sidewalks as crowded as they are. She zips through the people offering an 'Excuse me' when needed.

She has only made it a few blocks from her building before her phone buzzes in her pocket. Pulling it out she does not recognize the number and debates answering before she finally slides it open and throws it to her ear

"Hello?"

"Han. Oh thank god you still have the same number." he says and his voice makes her slow down her pace.

"Caleb? Oh my god. I was going to call Jamie but I didn't have his number so I am on my way to his apartment now. I have been so worried. Is everything okay?" she asks as she throws her fingers over her other ear so she can hear him.

"Yeah, I uh I think so…" he says then he turns silent before he finally sighs into the phone "Say you love me Hanna. Please."

"What-What are you talking about?" she asks confused.

"Say that you love me…please. I've done an impulsive thing…and you know I don't do impulsive. I uh, I watched your video diaries last night and I uh...I didn't watch all of them because I quite frankly can't watch you cry that many times in a row so I watched a few and I skipped to 658 like you said…after I was done I laid in the bed and I thought about where we would be if I had waited for you…and I realized that we would probably be married by now if I hadn't have ran. I know why you said you are so sick and tired of me leaving you…and I don't want to run anymore Han. So I checked out of my room and caught the last flight out to D.C. and I quit my job." He stops to take a breath.

She opens her mouth to say something but cannot find her voice before he continues

"I went to my apartment and packed up everything I could fit into my Jeep and I drove as fast as I could back here. I don't know what I am going to do about a place to live…or a job but I know that I'm tired of running…I am tired of away from you Hanna, so this time I am running to you, so please tell me that you love me." he says as he chuckles and Hanna can tell he is fighting tears.

She stops in the middle of the sea of people and her hand flies over to her mouth as her eyes get blurry with tears. She tries to speak but she can't force herself to speak.

"Before I left I stood, looking out the windows of my hotel…looking down at the busy street. I watched the cars as they would stop and then would go and then would honk when they couldn't go anywhere. I hate this city Han. I hate it. I hate the traffic and I hate the noise…but it somehow feels like home when I am here, and it's because you're here…and that makes me love it…because I love you. I hate demanding bosses that make you have landlines so they can get in touch with you at all hours of the day and night…I hate landlines because fiancés call landlines and leave messages while I am pouring my heart out to you…but you have both and I'm okay with that, because I love you. And I hate that I ran away because now, all I want to do is be with you…" he chuckles again "I chuckles again "I uh, I don't know what else to say but…god, even in my hoodie…you're beautiful…with your hair pulled up on top of your head like that."

Hanna stands still at the crosswalk and she turns her back to wipe the tears from her eyes before she speaks "Caleb, I..." she whispers before he cuts her off

"Have I said yet how much I hate this city and its stupid crosswalks that keep me on one side the street away from you when all I want to do is wipe your tears away and kiss your lips…because I love you."

Hanna gasps and spins around towards the street, and their eyes lock. He stands waiting to cross the busy street his cellphone up to his ear. She laughs and cries all at once.

"Hi." he whispers into the phone when their eyes meet across the busy street

"Hi" she sobs back into the phone and looks at him. She wipes her eyes "Caleb, I-"she starts but stops when he shakes his head from side to side.

"Hold that thought…3…2…1" he says as the light turns white letting them walk across the street.

He steps off the sidewalk and she does to. Before she can stop herself she takes off running towards him. He puts his phone into his pocket and when she reaches him she launches herself into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist right in the middle of the four lane road. She grabs her face and pulls it to hers and their lips meet, making all her arms immediately break out into chill bumps.

The crowd walks around them, leaving them in their own world, totally consumed in each other. The light turns red and the sigh starts to blink 3…2…1 before the stop is displayed in red. They stay here until the cabs in the lanes beside them honk and pull them out of their own little world. Caleb puts her down and grabs her hand as they run out of the middle of the street, letting the traffic pass by.

When they reach the sidewalk he turns back to her "You were saying?"

"I was saying…I love you Caleb Rivers. I have loved you since the day I sat next to you in detention. I have loved you this whole time we were apart, I love you…I will always love you."

He wraps his arms around her and picks her up, swinging her around in a circle making her laugh.

"I love that sound…your giggle…and I want to hear it for the rest of my life. I love you Hanna Marin." he whispers as he leans down to kiss her again.


	11. Chapter 11

**Ah! The proposal! I loved writing this one too! Stay tuned, next one is WEDDING DAY! It might be a two parter... Hope you guys enjoy! Let me know what you think in the reviews! :)**

* * *

When she is done telling her story, Hanna looks up and everybody is teary eyed as they sit with their arms rested on the table. Hanna can't help but giggle

 _Yeah, it's like a fairy tale...right?_

Emily moves first to move as she sits up and clears her throat of her tears "Well. That is just..."

"Magical" Ali answers then looks up at Emily and smiles

 _Oh please, you two just need to give it up and get together already...you could have your own magical story to tell...wouldn't be as magical as mine...but still._

She thinks as a smile creeps back over her face.

"So that is how he proposed?" asks Aria, almost in a daze.

"Psh, no girl...that's a-whole-nother story to tell." Hanna says as she picks up her drink and takes another drink of her champagne, feeling the effect of it in her system by the warmth of her cheeks "But it was pretty amazing night as well."

"I've heard this one. Ugh, again...jealous" Alyssa says as she picks up her cup and takes a sip. She shoots Hanna a look and puts her cup back down "And not just because he's hot either...like actually jealous."

"He is, isn't he?" Hanna says with a smile and a giggle as she sits back in her chair.

They all laugh again before Spencer turns to Alyssa "You actually asked for her to set you up...with Caleb...and you're still living? Wow. How'd that go over?"

"Well see…" she starts but Hanna cuts her off

"See, she saw him and wanted to 'bump' into him and when she did that's when I realized that she was talking about him."

"Yeah, and later when I asked if they knew each other she said that he was a friend from back home...not an ex. boyfriend...not the love of her life...a friend from back home."

"Again, what was I supposed to say?"

"She got her feelings hurt in the cab when I told her that Hanna and Caleb were like, an unbreakable, never ending thing..." Jen throws out there as she takes a sip.

Hanna sits back up quickly "So, enough about me...what about you three...Aria, what happened to Liam?"

Aria looks around the table confused that the spotlight is now on her "Liam and I went broke up a couple weeks ago, but Ezra and I aren't really a thing..."

"Oh please. I saw that. That was classic dating Mr. Fitz behavior. You may not be a thing yet...but you will be."

"Toby and I aren't really a thing either...we're friends...he's with Yvonne...still." Spencer says as she picks up her glass and downs the rest of her champagne before turning to Erin that sits beside her "Fill'er up." Erin picks up the bottle and pours her another glass and she quickly takes another long drink.

Hanna can see the hurt in Spencer's eyes so she quickly changes the subject "Okay, enough with all of this, Let's dance!" she says as she picks up her cup and turns to make her way onto the dance floor with the other girls following behind her.

When they reach the floor they start to dance, occasionally people stopping them to offer a congratulations to Hanna who keeps her eyes on Spencer. When she has finally danced her way over beside Hanna, she leans in

"Hey Spence listen, I am sorry I brought up Toby…I didn't know about Yvonne…I mean I did…but I didn't know they were still a thing."

"It's no problem. We're friends…ish…I just…Being around him...I just I miss him, ya know?"

"Do I ever…listen, take it from someone who's been down this road…don't give up on it. Yvonne may be his Jordan...as bad as that sounds because from what I hear she's a nice girl...but then again, Jordan is a nice guy..." she says then stops to look over at Spencer who dances beside her "Anyway, sometimes people who are meant to be together take a break and then find their way back to their first love...and come on, what's more romantic than that? " she says as she gestures her hands back towards herself and smiles.

Spencer stops dancing "Did you read that in a book or something?"

"Nope" she says with a smile as she grabs Spencer's hand and they start to dance again.

* * *

"TAXI" Caleb yells and throws his hand up in the air as they stand outside Jamie's apartment building. He turns back to the guys that stand behind him "So, where you wanna go?"

"Your bachelor party man...wherever you want to go." Toby says and looks over at Ezra

"Yeah, I mean I am down for whatever." he says then looks at Jamie

He chuckles "I know a place..." he says as a yellow cab pulls up in front of the building.

Caleb immediately recognizes the driver "Carl!" he calls out as the car comes to a stops near the sidewalk and he gets out to greet them.

"Ah, Mr. Rivers! Long time no see!" he says as he gives him a man hug before turning back to shake the rest of their hands "Big day is coming up huh?"

Caleb smiles "Yep. Next week." he says as she shakes his head

"You're out celebrating then I see?"

"Yeah, these guys came up to celebrate with me...this is Toby and Ezra" he says as he points to each of them "And of course you know Jamie. Guys, this is Carl and this man...he is probably 65% responsible for putting my ass in gear when it came to Hanna." he says as he puts his arms across his shoulders.

"Well, let's get you out celebrating." Carl says as he opens up the passenger side door for the other three climb into the back of the cab.

As they pull away from the curb Ezra speaks "So, Carl...if you are responsible for all of this...can you tell us how this all happened?"

"Yeah, because last time I heard from this guy he was living in D.C. near my ex...near Spencer...and then the next time I see him he's quit his job and moved back up here and then he calls and says he's engaged...not that it shocked any of us that it was Hanna...but still.."

Carl looks over at Caleb who sits across from him "You haven't told them the story?"

"I told them most of it." Caleb says as he glances back over his shoulder to the guys in the backseat "And that is not true. You all knew that I came back up here and that we were together again."

"Uh yeah...and then what...two months later you're engaged...that's a mighty big time jump." Ezra says back to him before throwing his hands up in the air "Again, not shocked by it...just wanted to know the details...you know...for our wedding speeches..." he says as he looks over at Toby as he shakes his head in agreement.

"Well, it wasn't supposed to be two months later...it just happened that way." he says as he smiles thinking back on their engagement that took all their friends by surprise "Plus, you all knew that I had gotten that ring for her and had planned to propose a long time ago."

"Yeah, we know...then you broke up so what gives?" Toby asks again with his eyebrows raised

"Tell them...it really is a wonderful story to hear." Carl says with a warm smile.

"Okay, so just in case nobody else in his cab knew...when I took the job here right before graduation it came with a pretty good bonus so I used most of it to get the apartment and the rest I put down on an engagement ring. I was going to propose after she got out of school but of course Europe happened before that so...I just..held onto it. I didn't know if I would ever actually bring myself to get rid of it...almost sold it once, but I changed my mind and kept it in a box in the top of my closet. When I got the rest of my stuff out of my apartment in D.C. I found it. When we came back here I carried around in my pocket for a long time...mostly because I knew Hanna would find it if I didn't." he stops and laughs as he thinks back on the night.

"Hanna, hurry up! We're gonna be late." he calls from the living room as he pulls out his phone to look at the time

"What time is it?" he calls out from the bathroom where she has been for the last 45 minutes

"Almost 7...they are doing the tree lighting at 8 and it will take us almost 30 minutes - depending on traffic to get to Rockefeller..." he says as he hears her huff in exasperation "Your hair looks fine.." he says as a smile creeps over his face

"You haven't even seen my hair thank you very much!" she says as she makes her way from the bathroom to the doorway leading in from the bedroom to the living room "I just don't want to have hat head from this toboggan." she says as she fixes the hat on her head "Does it look okay?"

 _God she's beautiful...you're a lucky...lucky man._

"You're beautiful." he says as he watches her make her way into the living room and stops when she is right in front of him and wraps her arms around his neck as he wraps his around her waist.

"You're sweet." she says as she steps onto her tip toes and kisses his lips before pulling back "And you're also a liar...you want to know how I know that you are a liar? Because I am wearing so many layers of clothes that I look like the Michelin Man...and you still told me I was beautiful."

"One, I am not a liar...you are beautiful. Two, you could wear the Michelin Man suit and you would still be beautiful. Three, if you don't hurry your beautiful ass up, we are going to be LATE" he says as he kisses her again "Now, finish curling, ironing, or beach waving...whatever it is you do to your beautiful head of hair so we can leave."

She giggles "Just one more minute, I promise...then I will be ready" she says as she turns to make her way back to the bathroom.

Grabbing his jacket off of the hook on the wall by the door, he pulls it on and starts to load his pockets with keys and his cellphone. He reaches into the interior pocket and pulls out the tiny black box he's hidden in it for weeks now. He glances over his shoulder towards the bedroom door before turning back to the box in his hand and opening it up.

 _It hasn't changed any since the last time you looked at it three days ago...Maybe soon I won't have to look at it in the box anymore..._

He thinks as she looks at the princess cut ring inside. Just a little over a carat and a half with smaller diamonds along the band. It was nothing compared to the massive ring Jordan had given her...but it was all he could afford and even with a pretty massive down payment it had still taken him several months to pay it off. At the time he bought it, it looked huge, but after seeing another ring on her finger, he had begun to have doubts about giving it to her.

 _I should've traded it in on a bigger one and just made payments on the difference...but, maybe she will love it -_

"Ready!" she calls from the bedroom door and it snaps him out of his thoughts.

He quickly shuts the box back and puts it into his pocket before turning back to her "Let's go!" he says as he grabs his beanie off the table and throws it on his head and picking up their gloves up.

The snow has just started to fall as they make their way out of their building onto the sidewalk.

"Think we have enough time to walk instead of getting a cab? I just really love to watch the snow fall." she pleads as snakes her arm through his.

"Hanna, you hate the snow...you say it ruins a perfectly good pair of boots." he says as he stops and looks at her

"I know. I just really like watching it fall...and our apartment doesn't really have a good view of it...plus, it gives me a perfectly good reason to snuggle up next to you." she flirts as she wraps both around his one.

He reaches out and grabs her hand "Well then walk we shall." he says as he kisses her head.

As they walk they begin to work out their Christmas plans and going back to Rosewood for a few days.

"I uh, told my mom that we would be coming in on the 23rd and staying until the 28th. Is that okay?"

"That is fine. I am off that whole week so whatever you want to do we will." he says "Oh but I did tell Jamie that we would do Christmas either early with him or late after we got back...which one would you rather do?"

"Um, why don't we just invite him to go with us to Rosewood? I mean mom could definitely get him a room at the hotel and he could do dinner with us there at moms...? No sense in him spending Christmas alone" she says with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders.

"I don't want to intrude on your family Christmas though by just inviting my dad...I'm sure he wouldn't either."

She stops walking and turns to look at him "Caleb, it's your dad...he's your family...and your family is practically my family. Come on, my mom always cooks Christmas dinner and she always cooks too much. I'm sure Ted would rather not eat turkey sandwiches for weeks after Christmas." she looks up at him and he can tell by look of determination on her face that she's not giving in "Fine. I will ask my mom to make sure, if it will make you feel better but I am sure they wouldn't mind."

 _Reason number 897 why I love you Hanna Marin..._

"Okay. We can ask but if he doesn't want to I won't push him on it" he says and watches the smile creep onto her face and she claps.

They turn to continue walking down the street "You know this will be my first Christmas back home since the Christmas at Spence's house...the year of the snow storm."

"Ah, the year of the Santa suit boxers...I remember that" he chuckles and he brings his hand to his face

"Uh huh. Me tooooo." she purrs and wags her eyebrows

"Remind me next time I decide to parade around like that near Toby to do some sit ups or something first..."

"What? Toby was there? I never noticed...I was too busy ogling you." she flirts

"Ogling huh?" he flirts back

"Ogling." she says matter of factly "That was a good Christmas...not just because of the boxers. " she says as she lays her head on his shoulder "That was the last good Christmas we had together...before this one, of course."

"Yeah...It was..." he breathes

Her phone rings in her pocket and she pulls it out. She glances at the number and then back up him before hitting the 'Decline' button on her phone and puts it back into her jacket.

"Work?" he asks

"Yeah, its Claudia...I told her I wouldn't be on call for the night when I left work, but she never listens."

"You can take it if you need too." he says as she looks back down at her

"No. I don't need too. I need to be here, with you."

He looks back up at the huge still unlit tree in front of them "I know we said we would always come to the tree lighting when we first moved here but we never made it...did you ever come? After I left?"

"No...I uh, no, I never did" she says as she clears her throat "After we said we would come, it always felt like something we should do together so I never did. I've been by here after, but I have never came to the lighting...it just didn't feel right to do it with anyone else." She says as she wraps her arms tighter around his.

 _You've never been too far from my mind Caleb..._

Her words ring in his mind and he smiles to himself before leaning down to kiss the top of her head as they reach the crowd gathered near Rockefeller Center.

"What was that for?" she asks as she looks up at him

He shrugs "Just for being Hanna..." he says with a smile as she stands up on her tip toes and kisses his lips.

'All I Want for Christmas is You' starts to play throughout the center and Hanna's eyes light up as she begins to sing along.

"Dance with me." she says excitedly as she grabs his hands

"We're in a crowd full of people and you want to dance...here?" he asks as he looks around and back at her. She stands in front of him singing.

"All I want for Christmas is youuuuuu" she sings out and she points at him "Yeah, why not...come on...It will be my Christmas wish come true if you would dance with me...here. Because I love this song...and I love you."

 _You know she's too cute to say no too...may as well swallow that manly pride and get to dancin'_

That is all it takes for him to wrap his arms around her as they begin to move around in a circle as Hanna sings the words to him, making him laugh. The people around them turn and watch them, some talking to each other and some smiling and pointing at them...but he didn't care. She was happy and that was all that mattered. When the song was over everyone around them clapped and Hanna finally looked around and noticed everybody watching. They could hear the words 'so in love' and 'how precious are they'.

He smiles down at her "You're crazy." he whispers

She shakes her head from side to side "I'm not crazy...I'm just...happy."

"You just wasted your Christmas wish on a dance in the street...that's crazy. You could've wished for a mansion, or a million dollars or hell, even a pony...that, that is crazy."

"Those things don't matter...the only thing that matters is that I am right here, right now...with you." she says as they wrap their arms around each other.

In the distance they can hear the crowd start to cheer "3...2...1" as they stare at each other. Applause and cheers erupt all around them as the lights from the tree catch their eyes and they turn to look at the sight. Childlike amazement washes over Hanna's face and she begins to giggle. They stand in silence just looking up at the tree and watching the snow fall before Caleb looks down at her and back at the tree before he turns back to her

"Seriously-if you had only one Christmas wish...what would it be?" he asks.

She thinks for a moment "Ummm...the Santa suit boxers are very tempting.." she says playfully "I think if I had one Christmas wish...tonight I wish for you..."

"That doesn't count you see...because you already have me...so that would be a wasted wish."

"No, tonight I only l wish for you...nothing else matters."

He sucks in a deep breath as he leans down at kisses her. When he leans back up he looks into his eyes and stares down at her. "Marry me?" the words come out of his mouth before he can stop them.

"Wh-what?" she looks at him with shocked eyes.

He swallows "I uh…I just…I'm sorry. I didn't…" he says as he brings his hand to his head "No, you know what…screw that." he says as he pulls the box out of his pocket and holds it up "I've had this for like 6 years…I've wanted to ask you to marry me for…years…Hanna and since I've been back I have been guarding this with my life since I've been back and I knew a time would come when it would be the perfect time to ask…but I just…I can't wait anymore.." he stops and bends down on one knee. People gasp in the background and the crowd moves from around them, giving them space.

Hanna's hand flies up to her mouth as she gasps.

He opens the box and holds it up "Tonight, I only wish for you…for the rest of my life Hanna…you. I love you. I know it's only been two months since I've been back…but I lived without you for longer than I ever want to again. Please…marry me?"

She looks down at him with tears in her eyes, never saying anything just looking. She  
moves her hand from her mouth to speak but cannot find her voice and she giggles.

"It's kinda cold down here in the snow Hanna…" he chuckles

She laughs again and shakes her head before the words come out of her mouth "Yes..." she sobs again "Yes…"

He smiles and stands up and then her hands are in his hair and his arms her waist as their lips meet and everyone claps and yells at them. When they pull away he wipes the tears on her cheeks away and kisses her again. He rests his forehand on hers and whispers "I'm sorry it wasn't a more thought out proposal…I just…" he shrugs

"It was perfect." She whispers "I love you so much." she cries again as she kisses him.

He pulls the glove off her hand and tucks it into her pocket then pulls the ring out of the box and slides it down on her finger. She looks at it and make up at him again before she launches herself at him. They are all hands and lips, not even caring about the crowd that still cheers for them.

She looks over his shoulder at the crowd "I am finally going to be a Rivers…this is the best Christmas EVER." She announces to everyone standing around them. She leans in and whispers in his ear "And after this…we definitely need to break out the Santa suit boxers."

He laughs "I will see what I can do."

Caleb is pulled from his memory as Toby and Ezra fake cry in the back of the cab,

"Oh my god that is the most romantic thing I have ever heard…" Toby says as he wipes his eyes and looks over at Ezra

"Assholes." Caleb laughs at them

"No, really man. We are all really happy for you and Hanna. We also knew it would happen eventually…so to see it happen is really awesome." Ezra says back to him.

 _Yeah…yeah it is..._


	12. Chapter 12

**It's wedding day chapter! This one is a little shorter than most, but I did want to split them up so it wasn't one really long one. This one is also a little more about Hanna and the girls, rather than Haleb...since they've been pretty absent in this story, however there are some really cute Haleb moments in here as well. I am really excited to get the vows up (PM me if you would like a preview of those because I do already have them written), which I should get up tomorrow! I hope you guys still enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think! As always, thank you for all the kind reviews on this story.**

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Hanna sits in her white bride robe at a setup makeup station in the middle of her suite at The Radley. "Where is Aria? She was supposed to be here like 20 minutes ago!" Hanna screams as she looks around the room for the girls.

"Hanna, if you don't quit moving I am eventually going to burn you with one of these rollers, now sit still." the hairdresser says as she gives her a warning look in the mirror.

Hanna huffs "Sorry, I am just…." She spots Spencer in the mirror walking around in the back of the room "Spencer, where is Aria?"

Spencer stops and a panicked look washes over her face as she pulls her cellphone out of the pocket of her robe "I uh..I don't but I will find out." she says as she quickly throws her phone to her ear, knocked the giant rollers in her hair against her head "Ouch!" she says as she stops to rub the side of her head.

Hanna glares at her in the mirror "Okay, I am going…chill Bridezilla." she mumbles under her breath as she walks out of the room

"I HEARD THAT!" she yells just as the door opens and Aria rushes in her hands full of coffee cups and boxes.

"Sorry I am late…" she says as she shuts the door "I ran by the Brew and grabbed coffees and you some red velvet cupcakes" she says as she sits a cup in front of Hanna on the table and a box that holds a cupcake which Hanna grabs immediately

"And on my way back I was stopped…by the groom, and handed this" she says as she pulls a small box out and card of her bag and squeals with excitement as she shakes them in front of Hanna.

Hanna throws the cupcake down and spins around in her chair, not caring about the hairdresser who huffs at her and reaches for the box.

"He said to tell you to open the card first, and then the present…" she says as she snatches the box back out of reach and hands her the card.

Taking the envelope from Aria's outstretched hand she opens it and begins to read

 _Hanna,_

 _On this day I have loved you for 7 years, 4 months, and 27 days. Today will start day 1 of forever as husband and wife._

 _I love you. – C_

Hanna smiles up at her friends who have all came into the living room and sat down on the couch across from her "Isn't he the sweetest?" she says as she holds the card to her chest and they all shake their heads "Now, gimme the box and no one gets hurt." She deadpans.

Aria hands over the small white box wrapped in a nude colored ribbon. Hanna excitedly pulls the ribbon off and tosses it onto the table. She pulls the small lid off the box and sighs when she sees what is inside. She pulls the necklace out of the box and shows it to everyone.

"I saw this months ago when we went to buy his band and said how much I loved it…I cannot believe he remembered."

"Essence of best boyfriend - We should've so bottle his ass…millionaires" Spencer mumbles under her breath

"What?" Emily asks confused

"Nothing…just…nothing." Spencer says as she stands and grabs a coffee cup off the table.

Ali stands from her spot near the couch and walks to Hanna who still holds the necklace out "Hanna, it's beautiful" she says as she examines it.

"Thank you." she says as she holds it out and looks over it herself "Yep. I'm lucky." She says as she turns around to the hairdresser "Can we pause this for like 2.5 seconds? I really need some Facetimin' with my groom" she says with a smile as she grabs her phone.

"NO!" everybody yells in unison, making Hanna look around the room.

"Okay…rude…" she says with a look of irritation on her face.

Emily walks up and politely snatches the phone out of her hand "It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. Anything you need to say to him, I will text FOR you." she says with a smile

"Okay, but you aren't going to like it." Hanna says with a shrug as she turns back around to the mirror to get back to her hair.

She looks in the mirror at Emily who stands with the phone in her hand "Are you ready?" she says making Emily give her a look in the mirror. Hanna smiles "Caleb, thank you for the necklace." she says as she watches Emily start to type it out "I cannot wait to wear it for you tonight after you peel me out of my wedding dress." She says and Emily's face scrunches up in disgust as she types it out "Xo – H"

Emily types the rest of the message out quickly and hits send before throwing the phone onto the couch "Don't ever say that I don't love you because that…ugh. I don't even want to know." she says as she throws her hands up in mock disgust

Hanna laughs at her friend in the mirror as the cellphone dings, making Emily turn around and glance down at it, then up at Hanna in the mirror. "What? You took it away from me. Now read it."

Emily walks over and swipes the phone open, her wide eyes make Hanna bust out laughing as she Emily throws the phone back down like it has burned her "That's…just…wrong…on so many levels" She looks up at Hanna who gives her normal 'any day now' look before Emily finally picks it back up "Fine." She says then yells over her shoulder "Hey Spence, Hanna has a text could you please come read it to her?"

Spencer replies as she is walking into the room "Why can't you read…it…to…her?" she asks as she slows down to read the text. "Ew, no. Aria!"

Aria walks into the room tying the front of her matching floral bridesmaid bathrobe Hanna bought them "Yeah?" she asks

Spence holds the phone out to her "Han has a text she needs you to read to her." she says as she holds the phone out.

Aria takes the phone and quickly reads over the text "Nope. I don't care if it is bad luck or not…I am NOT reading that! She can have her phone back" she says as she hands the phone back to Spencer and walks back out of the room.

"Well, someone needs to read it…" Hanna calls out from her spot in front of the mirror. "Fine. Just hand it here, I am not afraid of a little dirty talk." she says as she holds her hand out.

Emily and Spencer both exchange looks and shrugs as Spencer walks up and hands Hanna her phone "No Facetime." She warns before she sits the phone in her hand.

"Fine." Hanna says as she opens her phone and reads the offending text. Her eyebrows wag and she smiles as she begins to type out a reply while they look on.

"Ew. I am going to enjoy my coffee…elsewhere." She says as she grabs her cup and turns to walk back out of the room.

Two hours later, they are done with hair and makeup, and are packing up everything in the room to carry to the church, as Hanna paces the floor, nervously.

"Han, will you calm down, everything is fine. Look, today is the happiest day of your life. You're gonna be a Rivers today!" Ali says as she grabs Hanna by the shoulders to stop her.

"I know, and I am happy…I'm just…nervous. I haven't been up speaking in front of this many people since my last play at fat camp…" she says as she brings her hands to her head

"Han, are you forgetting about the fashion show?" Emily encourages as she begins to pack up hairspray.

"Yeah, but I didn't do all that by myself…and we all know how disastrous that fashion show ended up."

"What about Ezra's play? You did that and you weren't nervous. You really rocked it" Aria says as she joins them, holding the bridesmaids' dresses

"Yeah, and I played a drunk woman…making a fool of myself was easy." She says as she falls back down on the couch careful not to mess up her hair "I just don't want to ruin today…today is going to be the day we tell our children about one day…and I don't want to have to tell them that mommy projectile vomited all over daddy while saying her vows."

"Well, that would test out the for better or for worse part" Spencer says and it makes everybody turn to look at her "Sorry."

"Look you will do fine. Trust me, you will see Caleb standing at the other end of the aisle and all your nerves will disappear." Aria says as she sits down on the table in front of Hanna and grabs her hands "And we will be there, I promise we won't let your story to your kids involve vomit…I will carry a bag in my cleavage just in case." she says and they share a laugh and a hug "Now, if you are done having your freak out moment…we need to head to the church so that we can change and get started taking pictures because you…Hanna Marin are getting married today." she squeals.

"I am getting married today!" she says back with a smile and she stands opening her arms for a hug. All the girls come in and wrap their arms around each other in a group hug. "And I have the best group of girls to help me through the day…and the best man waiting on me. So let's get this party started!" she says

They all squeal and throw their hands up in the air, followed by laughter before they continue to pack up everything and throw it onto a luggage cart. Hanna turns back to pick up the box with the necklace inside before she turns back around to the girls.

"Oh you think before we go to the church we can stop by the grille first? I really want some cheese fries…" Hanna asks the girls who all shoot her a look.

"What? I'm hungry…I get hungry when I get nervous" she explains

"You want to get out of the car and go into the grille in your bride robe?" Spencer asks

"No…I can't take the chance of Caleb seeing me so I can't get out of the car…you will." she says as she gives her a less than convincing smile "Spence pleaseeeeeeeeee?" she begs

"Fine!" she says as she turns back to the luggage cart and sits a bag down before turning back to Hanna "But this is where I draw the line…" she says to Hanna who bounces up and down.

When they arrive at the church Emily hops out of the car first and runs inside to make sure the coast is clear. She swings open the front doors and peeks inside, seeing nothing inside but the arbor and the flowers that line the aisle she turns back to the car and them the okay.

Spencer cuts the engine and they start to pile out. Emily walks back to the car to help unload. Each girl grabs their dress and a bag while Hanna stands on the sidewalk eating her cheese fries. When they are all loaded up they turn to walk up the stairs to the front doors of the church. Ali swings the door open and sees Caleb walking down the aisle towards them. He stops and looks at her confused

"Hey…okay...Caleb" she says aloud and makes everybody stop. Hanna stops, eyes wide as she hides behind the other door in the front of the church. Ali looks over at Emily "I thought you said it was clear" she whispers back at Emily who looks at Caleb then back to Ali

"It was." She whispers to her before turning back to him "What are you doing here?"

"I uh, I came here to talk to Pastor Ted before the wedding. Why? Am I not allowed to be here or something? He asks

"No, uh…you are…it's just that…its bad luck to see the bride before the wedding…and uh, we kinda have the bride."

He smiles at them "Oh you do?" then he leans over to look out the door, making the girls all move around to block his view of Hanna.

"Yeah, we do and you can't see her!" Spencer calls out as she puts her hand on the door and uses her dress to block Hanna from his line of sight.

"So, I guess I need to leave then?"

"Pretty much…yeah." Aria answers him.

"Okay, well if I can't see her…can I at least talk to her?"

They all look at each other before Aria glances over her shoulder Hanna who still leans on the door outside of the church, smile plastered on her face. She smiles at Aria and shakes her head yes and mouths 'please' to her.

"Fine. But no peeking." She says to Caleb as she looks back over her shoulder at Hanna.

"Thank you." She whispers as Aria smiles at her.

The girls move from the doorway and walk past him down the aisle to the front of the church. When they reach the front, they stop and turn around to watch as he walks up to the door and puts his face so that Hanna can hear him but the girls can't.

"Hey Han." He whispers

Hanna swallows hard, trying to catch her breath "Hi." she finally whispers back.

"So, uh…today is the day. You ready?"

She lets out a breath "Yeah…I am…I am marrying you so hard today." and they laugh "You nervous?"

"A little…but I will be fine once I can lay my eyes on you." He says and it makes her smile and get teary eyed.

"I promise not to projectile vomit on you." She laughs through her tears "Aria has me covered on the vomit….but I can't promise I won't pee my pants…my, uh dress…"

"As long as you say I do, I could care less about vomit or pee…" he laughs back to her. He sticks his hand out the open door towards her. She puts her hand in his and they lace their fingers together and she lets out a sob.

"Hey, you're beautiful. I am so lucky."

"See, you are a liar. You haven't even seen me, and you're already saying I look beautiful. I could have a zit the size of Jupiter."

"I'm not lying, you are beautiful. Today, yesterday, tomorrow…you're beautiful even if you have a zit the size of Jupiter…and I am lucky."

He pulls their hand inside the door and brings it to her lips, placing a kiss on her ring finger above her engagement ring.

"In just a few hours, you will be Mrs. Caleb Rivers…and I am so ready to call you my wife. I love you."

She lets out a breath and tries to keep herself from crying as whispers "I love you too."

He lets go of her hand and turns to walk back down the aisle towards the girls. They all stand with tears in their eyes as they watch the exchange between the couple. He looks up at them and smiles as he walks out of the front of the church and shuts the door behind him. The girls walk back down the aisle and to the door where Hanna sits with her back to the door and tears in her eyes.

She looks over at them and laughs as she wipes her cheeks "Well...now I am gonna need a touch up." she cries and it makes the girls laugh.

"Come on babe, lets get you touched up" Spencer says as she reaches out and wraps her arms around her shoulders "Damn Caleb for being so sweet."


	13. Chapter 13

**Here it is...the wedding chapter! Hope you guys enjoy it. Let me know what you think!**

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"Hanna, this dress is amazing" Ali says as she unzips the large white dress bag that hangs on the bathroom door of the room turned into a bridal suite for the girls. She gently runs her fingers over the lace detail down the front of the dress "It's so you…I would never be able to pull off a high-low wedding dress."

Hanna sits in the bathroom in front of a mirror while Aria touches up her makeup "Thanks." she calls out "It's part of Claudia's new collection. It's not out yet so we have had to keep in super under wraps…which is why no one has seen it yet. As soon as I saw it, I fell in love." she smiles.

"Your mom hasn't seen it?" Aria asks as she brushes some more blush on Hanna's cheeks.

"Nope." she sighs

"She's gonna fall apart you know, when she sees you." Emily says as she steps into her dress.

"Yeah…which is why I am going to do a first look with her and dad before the ceremony…so we can get all tears out of the way and I can pep talk myself into not ugly crying out there." she laughs as Aria finishes up with her touch ups

Hanna spins around in the chair "Well, what do you think? Good as new?"

"You look amazing Han." Spencer says as she zips up the back of Emily's dress

Hanna walks over to them and pulls her dress off the door. Slipping off her robe and stepping into her dress she turns back to the girls who all watch her in awe. She stops and looks at them "What? Does it look funny?" she says as she turns back to the full length mirror in horror.

"No, you look…" Ali starts

"Beautiful" Emily finishes as she smiles with tears in her eyes.

Hanna's eyes begin to tear up and she points at Emily "No! Don't you dare!" she says as they threaten to fall. Emily laughs and turns her head to wipe her eyes before she turns back around. Hanna turns back around to the mirror and looks at her reflection "Can one of you zip me up?"

Spencer steps forward and zips the back of the dress up and then hooks the buttons over the zipper "Upside to seeing your dirty texts is knowing that Caleb will have a hard time trying to fulfill his threats with all these buttons." she laughs

"Don't underestimate him…I'm just saying..."

"Oh my-"a knock at the door cuts Spencer off and she mumbles "thank god."

Ali walks over to the door and cracks it "Hey, come on in…she's just gotten into her dress." she says as she moves out of the doorway and lets Ashley and Tom in.

"You girls look amazing. These dresses are adorable!" she says as she grabs the skirt portion of Ali's dress "Very cute."

She turns the corner and gasps as she sees Hanna standing at the mirror. Tom follows behind her and when Ashley stops he walks around beside her "Wow. Han, you look so beautiful honey." he says as he walks up and kisses her cheek.

"We uh…we will just give you guys some privacy" Aria says as she picks up her bouquet and opens the door and the other girls follow suit and walk out behind her, shutting the door behind them.

They venture down the hall to where all the guys are standing around in the hallway. Caleb spots them and walks towards them "Everything okay?"

"Yeah…." Aria looks around to the other girls and then back to him "Why wouldn't it be?"

He lets out a breath "I just…you guys have been in there with her all day…I just…"

"She's just in there with her parents so we let them have a moment." Ali says to him.

"Are you nervous or something?" Spencer throws out from the back of the group.

"No…I just…yeah, maybe a little. Not nervous as much as anxious…I'm just ready…ready to be a married man."

"Well it's not long now…maybe an hour." Aria says again as she leans forward and whispers "You just wait until you see her…she looks absolutely amazing."

He chuckles "I know she does…she always does." He turns and walks back down the hallway towards the guys, leaving the girls in silence.

"Okay, I am officially jealous." Spencer says.

An hour later the girls bust back into the suite to find Hanna pacing the floor in front of the mirror.

"Where have you guys been?" she squeals "I've been freaking out for the last…I don't know 20 minutes."

"Hanna, why are you freaking out?" Emily says as she rushes into the room to stand beside her friend.

"How many people are out there?"

"How many did you invite?" Spencer asks "Look Hanna, just calm down. Everything out there looks great, you look great, and Caleb looks so handsome. It's not long now and you will be his wife. This is what you have always wanted…and it's about to come true. So just slow down and enjoy the moment."

"Can you get him?"

"What?"

"Caleb. Can you go get him? I know its bad luck but I really need to see him. I need him to calm me down…I just…I need him Spence. Please, just go get him." She says as her eyes begin to tear

"Okay…okay." Spencer answers "I will go get him, just calm down." she says as turns and swings the door open. She walks down the hall to the room where all the guys are supposed to be and knocks on the door.

Toby swings the door open "Spence…what are you doing here?"

"I need the groom."

"What? Why?"

"I just need him Toby. I have a bride on the verge of tears so I just need Caleb. Where is he?"

Toby opens the door wider and lets Spencer in the room. She looks over in the corner and sees Caleb in deep conversation with Tom. He looks up when he sees her enter the room and motions her over. Tom turns his head when he sees her walk up.

"Everything okay Spencer?" Tom asks

"Yeah Mr. Marin…uh…I just…Hanna is having a little freak out and she needs to see you pronto." she says to Caleb.

"What? Is she okay? She has been so set on not seeing each other because- "

"its bad luck…yeah I know but she insisted that she needs you."

"Okay. I will be right there. Tell her I will be right there." he says to her and she shakes her head before turning back to Tom "I'm so sorry To-Mr. Marin"

"No…go…" he says as he motions towards the door.

Caleb smiles at him and turns to head out the door. He heads down the hall to the door of the bridal suit. When he reaches the door he hesitates before he knocks on the door. "Han?"

"Come in" she calls out from the spot where she still paces the floor.

He slowly opens the door and the sight of Hanna in her wedding gown makes him stop right inside the door. She paces from side to side directly in front of the door. He swallows deep as he looks her up and down, drinking in the sight of her. She stops and half smiles at him and he can feel the hair on his neck stand on end.

She keeps pacing and starts to ramble "Caleb, I I I don't know what is wrong with me…I know I am normally not this nervous but I want this day to go perfect and I can't keep my vows straight. I mean I have them down I just keep going over them in my head and I mess them up. I could carry my paper down the aisle but I have almost a full box of tissue in my bra in case I start to ugly cry…and I am not sure that the girls can fit much else in their cleavage because I am afraid that I will vomit or pee so they have supplies for that and I just love you so much… it makes me nervous about getting everything perfect so I just need you to look at me like you do and do that rubby thing with your thumb on my hands that make everything okay…please?" she finally stops and takes a breath as she looks up at him and holds her hand out "God, you look amazingly handsome by the way….that just makes me more nervous. Oh my god."

He stands there looking at her in complete silence, his heart beating in his ears.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

A smile creeps onto his face "Because you're beautiful."

Tears being to well up in her eyes and he takes a few quick steps forward, grabbing her outstretched hand and rubs his thumb over her knuckles. They both can immediately feel the tension in their bodies evaporate "And as much as I want everything to go perfectly today, I just want to marry you Han…so who cares if you say your vows in the wrong order, or if you ugly cry..? Because as long as I can call you my wife…I don't. Nothing else matters today but you and me. So forget about all the people, when they open those doors…it is just you and me, okay?"

"God, I love you so much." She whispers

He leans over and kisses her forehead "I love you too…and I cannot wait to marry you. So if you are done freaking out I need to get out there because this wedding is about to start."

She looks at him "Yeah…okay…go on." she says as he kisses her forehead again as he turns to walk back out the door.

"Caleb?" she calls out and he turns back around to look in her direction "Could you forget all about this and look at me when I walk down the aisle the same way you looked at me when you came in here? Because it really made me feel beautiful"

He smiles at her "You are beautiful." he simply says as he walks back out the door to this room.

Hanna turns to the mirror and adjusts her veil as she takes a few deep breathes. Picking up her bouquet and opens the door to find the girls. She walks down the hallway and out the back door of the church to head around to the front as the music begins to play.

"You good?" Ali asks as Hanna walk up to them.

She smiles "Yeah…I am. Just had a moment…but I am ready to go now."

"You sure?" Emily asks

"Positive. I don't care what happens…I just want to marry the man inside waiting on me." she says with a smile. "Where's my dad?"

"I'm here sweetheart" he calls out as he rounds the corner, walking up to Hanna and kissing her cheek "You look beautiful."

"Thank you dad."

As they line up behind the girls, Hanna laces her arm through her dads as they walk up the stairs. When they reach the doors he turns to her "Han, I just want you to know that your mother and I love you very much as we are so proud of the woman you have become…"

"Dad, please don't make me cry…"

He holds his finger up "And I also want to tell you that…Caleb is a good man, and even though we haven't always seen eye to eye…I couldn't ask for a better man to take care of my baby girl…and when I went to tell him that he left me standing there…because he had to come to you…and that is how I know that you'll always be taken care of. He is a good man, and he deserves the very best. That's why I am giving you away today."

As the doors swing open the father and daughter stand in the doorway looking at each other. They turn to the crowd and Hanna smiles "Yeah, he is" she whispers back to Tom as they start to walk down and she sees the look on his face.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" Pastor Ted asks

"Her mother and I" Tom answers as he grabs her hand and places it by her side. He turns to Caleb and shakes his head "Take care of my girl."

Caleb clears his throat "Yes sir. Always."

Tom turns back to Hanna and kisses her cheek before turning and taking his spot on the front row between Ashley and Isabelle.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life's most cherished moments, the joining of two hearts in love – in life and in this ceremony today we will witness the joining Caleb and Hanna in marriage." Pastor Ted begins "Earlier today Caleb came by to see me and we sat down had a conversation. This isn't unusual…I do talk to most of my grooms the day of the wedding, however today's meeting was a little different. You see, Hanna is my soon to be step-daughter, but when I first her she and Caleb had already been together for some time. Well, he came by today and we got to talking and I asked him about how he and Hanna first met. He told me about how they met and after he was done he finished it up with 'She saved my life…and I am just so ready to marry her' and that my friends is what we are gathered here to witness, so I am going to do Caleb a favor and get this done as quickly as possible." he says and everybody laughs.

As he begins the ceremony, his voice becomes muted in the background as Hanna watches Caleb, looking into his eyes. He rubs his thumb over her knuckles and it makes her suck in a deep breath. She looks down at their hands and then back to him. He smiles and his eyes shine with love – it makes Hanna smile and all her nerves wash from her body.

"Hanna…" she hears in the distance but she cannot take her eyes off of Caleb.

 _God, I could not be any happier than I am in this moment…right now…I am getting married…to Caleb…I am going to be Mrs. Caleb Rivers._

She thinks as she has to fight the ecstatic giggle that wants to escape her mouth.

"Hanna…?" she hears again and it pulls her out of her thoughts as she turns to look at him.

"Vows?"

"Me first?" she asks Pastor Ted who shakes his head yes and it makes everybody laugh "Okay" she says before she takes a deep breath and looks back at Caleb "A good friend told me once 'Someday someone will love you for exactly who you are'. She told me that...during a time in my life when I was...okay, everybody here pretty much knows...I was a lot...bigger.." she giggles and everybody laughs with her "and I had a hard time dealing with my flaws"

"And in this moment...right now, I have to tell her she was right because I know without a doubt that person is you. I uh, I know how tough it is to love me sometimes...I mean how could it not be? I can be so hard to handle. I am hard headed and refuse to back down, like...ever." he quietly chuckles and looks down at their hands before returning his eyes to hers "I don't listen to anything I am told, and I seem to always get myself into something I shouldn't be into. But you...you've stood beside me during times when any other person would've ran. You've seen me laugh, and you've seen me cry...and you've done both with me. You've seen me struggle and you never let me struggle alone. You put my dreams first and made sacrifices so that they could come true. In the end, that dream you worked so hard for so that I could see it come true is what I put before us, and for that I am so sorry..." she stops and takes a deep breath

"So if I never make it any farther than this...if I never touch another piece of fabric, or design another dress - Caleb, please know that every dream I have ever dreamt has come true, because of you. You make my dream come true every day when you look at me, with those brown eyes that see me like no one else ever will...for loving me exactly as I am. For knowing all of my my flaws, and choosing to look past them. For being patient with me, and always being the rock in my life full of chaos and for always being on my team, even when you probably shouldn't. I don't know what this life will bring us, or where we will go from here, but I do know that with you is the only place I want to be….and now I am going to cry…" she laughs and chokes back a sob before continuing "I love you so much."

She smiles back at him with tears in her eyes. He returns her smile and rubs his thumb across the knuckles on her left hand, making her heart skip a beat. He clears his throat before he starts his own vows.

"When I uh...when I was 17 I moved here...to Rosewood...at the time I thought this place would just be another stop on my list before moving onto the next town…then I met you, and I knew then that my life would never be the same. Sure you're stubborn and strong willed...you absolutely never listen, and you do tend to get yourself in messes...you are all those things...but those things, are what makes you - you. And those things are just some of the things I love about you. But you are also encouraging- you encourage me...you make me a better person...you make me want to be a better person, for you. You are feisty and challenging, and you challenge me to be someone that deserves you and all of your many sides. You are loving, and giving...you took the chance at loving me and you've given me so much throughout the years. I owe everything good I have in my life, to you because without you - there would be nothing good in my life. I put your dreams first because I want to give you back the world in return, for everything you've given me since the day you gave me just a couch in a basement to sleep on...because it was the first of many things. I've spent so much time running...running from one place to the other and never really looking back because no place ever really felt like home...until I came here...until I met you. Hanna, you feel like home to me...and even though I have ran from you, from this day on I promise to only run to you...I know I've said that before, and I mean it. I will only run to you, because I never want to spend another day without you...for the rest of my life."

She can feel as a tear runs down her cheek and she reaches up to wipe it away as she hears a sniffle coming from behind her.

 _I feel ya…he's too sweet…and he's all mine…forever._

"Caleb, do you have a ring?" Pastor Ted asks and Caleb shakes his head and he turns to Jamie and grabs Hanna's band. "As you place this ring on Hanna's finger, please repeat after me"

Caleb reaches down and grabs her left hand

"Hanna, with this ring I give to you my promise that my heart is yours today, tomorrow and all the days to come."

Caleb starts to slide the ring down onto her finger and whispers "Hanna, with this ring, I give to you my promise that my heart is yours today, tomorrow and all the days to come." He brings her hand up to his mouth and kisses her ring finger and it makes shivers run down her spine.

"Hanna, ring?" Pastor Ted

Hanna turns to Aria who stands behind her and takes the ring from her hand as she turns back to Caleb.

"As you place this ring on Hanna's finger, please repeat after me. Caleb, with this ring I give to you my promise that my heart is yours today, tomorrow and all the days to come"

"Hold please." Hanna whispers as she turns around to Aria "Tissue please?"

Everybody laughs and Aria hands her a tissue from her hand. She wipes her eyes and hands it back to Aria before turning back to Caleb. She grabs his hand and starts to slide the band down on his finger

"Caleb, with this ring I give to you my promise that my heart is yours today, tomorrow and all the days to come." She says then turns back to Ted "Was that right?"

He laughs "Yes."

"Okay, now the moment I know you've both been waiting for…you may now seal your vows with a kiss. Caleb…kiss your bride."

"Finally" he whispers as she giggles. He brings his hands to cup her face and plants his lips on hers. She wraps her arms around his waist as the butterflies in her stomach erupt.

When they pull away from each other neither can contain the smiles on their faces.

"Ladies and gentleman I know present to you, for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Caleb Rivers."

Everybody stands and claps as Hanna turns to Spencer and grabs her bouquet. As they walk back down the aisle they smile and wave to everyone. When they walk out the doors and down the stairs to the sidewalk he turns to her.

"Well, how does it feel to be a Rivers?"

She looks at him and smiles "It feels like the best day ever." She whispers as she pulls him into a deep, passionate kiss.

* * *

 **THEEEEEEEEEE END!**


	14. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Hanna steps out of the shower into a foggy bathroom, and wraps herself up in a towel. She walks over to the mirror and wipes a hole big enough to see into. She goes about her nightly routine moisturizing her face, conditioning her hair and pulling it up into a messy bun and brushing her teeth. When she is finished, she takes a deep breath she opens the cabinets under the sink and grabs a paper bag; pulling a pink EPT box out of the bag she flips it over and over in her nervous hands.

A loud commotion in the bedroom makes her stop as she leans up next to the door to hear more. Unable to hear, she cracks the door just a little knowing that if she opens it too much, he will notice.

"Stop it daddy! Stop!" he giggles

"Stop what Cam? I'm not doing anything..."

"Yes you areeee! Stop it!"

"Stop what? This?" she can hear Caleb say, followed by laughter and screaming of their 3 year old son Camden that she can recognize as their nightly tickle fight.

"Daddyyyyy!" he calls out again and Caleb stops

"Okay I will stop. Let's get settled for bed…Mommy is almost done and we will go read. Good?"

"Seuss?" Camden asks excitedly and it makes Hanna laugh and roll her eyes.

 _Dr. Seuss? We've read him Dr. Seuss every night for a year!_

Caleb chuckles "If you want Seuss we will read Seuss C-man."

Hanna laughs and turns back to the sink as the EPT box catches her eye. She sighs and opens the box up, pulling out a test as memories of their first pregnancy flash through her mind.

They had only been married two years when she got pregnant with Cam...and it was quite unexpected.

"Han, are you sure you're okay? I mean…that's a lot of puke." Caleb called out as he sat behind her on the edge of the bath tub holding her hair back as she heaved over the toilet.

She sat back on her heels and wiped her mouth with a wet rag "I uh I don't know…the girls at work have all passed this bug around. Erin was out for 3 days with it. Do I feel like I have a fever?" she asked as she leaned back so he can reach her forehead.

He placed his hand across her head and paused for a moment "Maybe a little one. Why don't you let me make you an appointment with the doctor, just in case?" he asks as he rubbed his hands down her arms.

"I'll be fine Caleb, it's just a little vomit…I mean what do you plan to do when we have kids if you can't handle a little puke?" she teased/

"That's more than a little puke…we've been at this for hours. You eat, then you puke and then you'll drink something and puke. This morning you gagged when I made a bowl of cereal because you said you could smell the sugar on my cocoa puffs…" She started to gag again at his words as she turned back to the toilet bowl. He swooped her hair back in his hands just in time.

When she was done she sat back again and looked at him "You should probably go...I don't want to you catch it too. We both can't get sick." she mumbled as she stood to brush her teeth

He pulled out his phone and looked at the time "Yeah, I got to get going to work, I just didn't want to leave you sick. I can call in today if I need to."

She shook her head "No, go on. I will be fine. I'll just make myself useful and clean up a little around here...but it will most likely be the bathroom since this is where I've spent most of my time the last couple of days." she said with a chuckle.

"Okay, will you call me if you need anything?"

"Of course" she says as she turns back to him

He leaned forward and kissed her temple "I love you."

"Even when she doesn't feel good, he could still make her smile "I love you too. Now get to work before you're late!"

A few hours later as she was cleaning out from underneath the sink and shoved in the very back was a box of tampons. She looked at it and wondered how they ended up all the way in the back as she through back to the last time she used them. A sinking feeling of panic rose in her stomach as she felt the now familiar feeling of vomit rising in her throat. She settled herself down enough to start counting the weeks on her fingers how long it had been, but stopped after she had reached 10 to throw up again.

When she was done she immediately got straight up from her spot on the floor and went to the drugstore. She knew when she walked in and picked up her basket that everybody would look at her funny but she didn't care. She bought two tests for every brand they offered and a huge bottle of water; 86 bucks and two bags later she was out of there and on her way home. It had taken her almost two hours of guzzling water and peeing on sticks for her to take all 30 tests but by the time Caleb got home from work she had the whole counter top covered and some even in the floor.

When he rounded the corner he saw her sitting on the edge of the bathtub holding two sticks in her hands as she looks up at him. He propped his shoulder up on the door and crossed his arms in front of him "Not a virus huh?" he asks.

"In case you need to know...it took a full gallon of water to take all 30 of these pregnancy tests." she half giggled as he made his way into the bathroom, sitting beside her on the tub

"Well? What do they say?" he whispered

"Twenty eight of them say we're gonna be parents..." she looked down at the two in her hand "These two were negative.." she said as she held them out and looked over at him "And in case you need to know...I am more upset about these two than the other twenty eight..because that means that there is a chance...that I'm not."

He wrapped his arm around her back and pulled her into him "So, 28 to 2...we are Rivers - Party of 3?" he said with chuckle "What do we do now...make an appointment?"

"I guess" she said as she sat back up and looked at him "You're really calm about this...like a whole lot calmer than I thought you would be..."

"Han, I grew up in foster care...having a family has always been on the list...we just got to it a lot sooner than expected is all." he said with a shrug.

"Mommyyy?" she heard whispered through the crack in the door and it pulled her out of her memory.

"Cammyyy?" she playfully whispered back to him.

"Why you not done? It's time to rwead Docta Seuss!" he exclaimed with a clap of his hands and it makes her laugh.

"Mommy is almost done. Go tell daddy to go ahead and you in tucked in and we will read.

"Okayyyyy. daddy daddy daddyyyyyy" she can hear him sing as he skips out of their bedroom heading to the hallway.

She quickly takes the test and sits it back on the counter waiting, rather impatiently for the lines to appear.

 _I don't even know why I am taking one of these damn things...I know I am...I've done this before...this morning I ate fruit for breakfast...no cereal, no eggs... I don't eat fruit for breakfast so it's unusual...it screams pregnant._

When two pink lines start to come up on the screen she lets out a breath she had been holding. She sat there staring at the lines, just making sure one didn't fade.

 _Well, that's that. Rivers - Party of 4!_

With that thought she swung the door open in search of her boys. When she reached the hallway she could hear the lines to his favorite book being read from his bedroom. She turns down the hallway and heads for his room. When she reaches his open door she stops and props herself up against the door frame and takes in the sight before her. Caleb sits on the edge of the bed with his legs stretched out in front of him. He has on only sweat pants and no shirt his hair still wet from his shower. Camden lays beside him in a matching pair of sweating pants with no shirt on. She can't help but notice how much they look like twins, even without the matching outfits. Their little boy has his dark brown hair and warm brown eyes; he even has his dark complexion as well.

Caleb looks up from the book but continues reading as he smiles at her. He moves his legs so she can come sit down on the bed. She quietly makes her way over and Camden's eye pop open when she comes into his line of sight.

"Mommy!" he screams as he sits up in bed "I got 'cited!" he squeals

Hanna throws her finger to her lips to shush him and he throws both hands over his mouth and giggles

"Sorry we started without you mommy..." Caleb says as he smiles at her and pulls Cam closer to his chest.

"Yeah, sowwy mommy. I got 'cited for Seuss."

"That's fine baby. Keep reading daddy...I'm here and I will snuggle with you and listen." she says as she gets up from her spot at the foot of the bed and moves around to the other side, sliding under the covers with Camden.

Caleb keeps reading the story as Hanna watches on, watching as Cam's eyes get heavier and heavier with every line. Before too long his soft snores were louder than Caleb's narration. Hanna reaches over and pat's Caleb on his shoulder. He stops reading and looks up at her as she points down to the baby sleeping between them. Slowly they shuffle out of the bed and pull the covers up to tuck Camden in on each side. Hanna walks around to join Caleb on one side of the bed and she bends down to kiss his head.

"Night Cammy." she whispers

"Night mommy. Night daddy wuv you." he whispers and then snores and it makes them both laugh.

She stands and Caleb wraps his arm around her shoulders "He talks in his sleep like you." he whispers.

She playfully smacks his chest "Yeah well, he snores like you." she says with a laugh as they make their way out of the room.

When they reach their bedroom Hanna turns back to Caleb "You're such a good daddy to him. You know how sexy that is?" she asks as she wraps her arms around his neck.

"Sexy huh?" he asks as he wraps his around her waist. She shakes her head up and down giving him a sexy smile "Well, you know what we can do about that..." he leans down to her ear "make more babies." he whispers as he kisses her neck.

She laughs "About that...I can't actually get pregnant again...at least I don't think I can."

He pulls back and looks at her confused "What do you mean?"

"I can't get pregnant...because I am already pregnant." she says with a giggle as she watches the surprise wash over his face.

"You're what?!" he exclaims

"Pregnant...I am preg-" he cuts her off when he picks her up and swings her around in a circle and they both laugh with excitement.

He sits her back down on her feet "Pregnant?! We're gonna have another baby?" he asks as she shakes her head. He puts his hands on each side of her face and caresses her check and he brings her lips to hers in a big kiss. "I love you so much." he whispers as he pulls back.

"I love you too." she whispers back as he wipes the tear from her eye that she didn't even know was there.

"And then there were four..." he whispers as he places his hand on her belly.

* * *

 **Hope you guys enjoy this! I meant to get it posted sooner but I have been sick so I am sorry for the delay. I appreciate all the love this story has gotten from the readers! Your wind words mean so much to me! Let me know what you think! :)**

 **If you are reading my new story 10 Year Reunion or my first one My World, It Begins and Ends With You..I promise I will get updates for those up soon.**


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